AITA for not letting my daughter invite her stepdad to walk her down the aisle, especially since I’m paying for everything?

A father (56) is struggling with his daughter’s request to have her stepdad walk her halfway down the aisle alongside him. Having been her main parent after her mom remarried, he feels this should be a special father-daughter moment, especially since he’s funding the entire wedding.

His frustration led him to suggest the stepdad contribute financially if he wants the honor, sparking family backlash. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for not letting my daughter invite her stepdad to walk her down the aisle, especially since I’m paying for everything?’

So, my (56M) daughter (25F) is getting married next spring. I’ve been looking forward to this for years, and she and I have always been close. Her mom and I split when she was around 12, and she mostly lived with me after that. I’ve been in her life full time, so I always figured I’d have that classic father daughter moment at her wedding.

Her mom remarried about five years ago, and let’s just say I’m not a fan of her new husband. He’s a guy who always needs to be the center of attention, loud and over the top, and just exhausting. He’s pulled stunts even at family gatherings for my side, always making everything about him.

I’ve put up with it to keep things civil, but it’s been a challenge for me all the time. I still invite him for my daughter’s sake. Fast forward to now, my daughter is wedding planning and told me that she’d like her stepdad to walk her halfway down the aisle with me. I couldn’t believe it.

I told her that, as her actual father, it’s a bit hurtful to have to share this big moment with someone who’s only been in her life for a few years. I’ve been there through everything. every school event, every late night, every hard time.

Her stepdad has just recently come into the picture, and it stings that she wants to include him in a moment I always assumed was ours. To make things even harder to swallow, I’m covering all the wedding expenses. I’ve spent a significant amount so she could have her dream wedding.

I don’t want to be petty, but part of me feels like it’s only fair to expect that I’d have the honor of walking her down the aisle, just me and her. She got defensive, saying she wants to include him because he’s been supportive, but I explained that, to me, this is about a father daughter tradition and how much I value our relationship.

Now she’s upset, and my ex-wife has also joined, saying I’m being “s**fish” and making it “all about me.” I’ve now become a full blown topic of discussion, with everyone throwing some pretty harsh words my way.

In frustration, I finally told her that if she really wants him to be there, she should ask him if he’d also like to split the bills. That might’ve been a bit much, but I was feeling cornered. So, AITA for not wanting to share the aisle with her stepdad, especially since I’m also paying for the whole thing?

I just want to add a note here as there is some confusion.** *My daughter told she wants him to walk her down the aisle as my ex wife and her husband asked her for this. This was not something that she came up with. Just wanted to provide that clarity as some people are thinking it was my daughter’s wishes.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Bhushanj48 −  NTA. This is your ex-wife’s and her partner’s wish, not your daughters. Don’t let yourself get manipulated into thinking you’re in the wrong here. He pays 50%? Sure, you lost a lot of reason there. He doesn’t? He doesn’t walk her down the isle.

Blackstarfishgyal −  NTA. As a consistently active parent, even into adulthood, this is a significantly special moment for you and your daughter. Whether you’re footing the bill of the wedding or not, you and you alone should be the one waking her down the aisle!

Although…. I have a feeling that the step dad is the one who suggested this, not your daughter. She might’ve just been the messenger.

mustang19671967 −  Tell. Them, he can walk her 1/2 way but in return he pays for for 1/2 . You’re not being petty . Inwould sit her down cause dollars to donuts her. Mom and stepdad are Pressing her. If she can’t stand up. To them. That you will.

Be the bad guy snd tell them no. She could even say that dad said if he hears from you and him one more time complaining you will not be invited or you can pay for everything

Crafty_Special_7052 −  NTA are your ex and her husband manipulating your daughter? It doesn’t make sense why she’d want him to also walk her down the aisle. If she really does want him to also walk her down the aisle then he can also pay for her wedding. If he’s actually supportive, he would help finically support the wedding

Sure-Ingenuity6714 −  I hope this is fake, 350k on a wedding is just f**king stupid!!!

TheSacredSynergist −  Tell her this… ok he can walk down the aisle as well… when I get the check for half of the bill.

Fabulous-Shallot1413 −  I would tell her point blank, do what you want it’s your wedding. But I will not contribute funds to a wedding where another man who’s not contributing gets to escort you. You have e your wishes and boundaries and ao do I. This isn’t a punishment this is me being true to myself and not being taken advantage of

Ifiwerenyourshoes −  NTA, and after reading your comments. This is one of those moments, where you have them in front of you, including her fiancé. And you start to tear up, and get upset and remind your daughter and your wife she cheated and left.

Remind him that he is manipulating your daughter and the situation by involving himself at all and it is disrespectful to me, and what I have done and endured. I would look at your ex wife at this time and say I don’t deserve this s**t, f**k you and then look at him and say f**k you too.

Then look at your daughter and say if you don’t want me to walk you down the aisle, I will come to terms with that. But they can start paying for the remainder of this ceremony now. I want to be a part of your life as i have always been because I love you.

But I refuse to be disrespected like this. He is an a**hole and created this whole scenario and is manipulating you.

Celestia-Messenger −  My father passed when I was 3, I would have given anything for my Dad to have been there to give me away. I gave myself away. You’re a great Dad, your daughter is lucky to have you. She needs a come to a thought moment.

Old_Till2431 −  My ex did the same with the bio sack of s**t. I raised her from 5 years of age. There every possible moment. Him nowhere to be found. She gets married he wants to walk her down the aisle, ex made sure it went that way. After the wedding, he disappeared again. Claim your right, f**k everyone else.

Is he justified in wanting this moment for himself, or does his reaction come across as possessive? Share your thoughts below!