AITA for buying my own dinner because I don’t like what the in-laws order? ?
A Reddit user shares a dilemma about family gatherings and food preferences. Despite being open to trying new foods, they can’t stand the one take ‘n bake pizza their in-laws order for every event.
To avoid conflict, they started bringing their own meal, but this choice has sparked tension, especially when their mother-in-law insists they eat what everyone else is having. Is the Redditor in the wrong for sticking with their food choice? Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for buying my own dinner because I don’t like what the in-laws order? ?’
I’d like to preface by saying that I am not a picky person. I don’t just…turn down food. I’m always willing to try new things, even if they’re weird or unconventional. One of my favorite things to do is to pick out something I’ve never tried in the grocery store.
But my in-laws are hooked on this one take ‘n bake pizza joint that I just cannot stand. I’ve tried to like it. I’ve ordered so many different things off of their menu. I just. Don’t. Like it. They order it for every single family event. Every get together. Every holiday. Every birthday.
I started ordering my own meals to bring to the parties. They got upset when they realized what I was doing. I explained that I LIKE ordering my own food, because it’s a chance to get a treat for myself that I don’t normally order.
Still, they’re always trying to convince my partner to get me to change my mind and just eat the same pizza as everyone else. This Halloween, we’d all planned to get together for a Halloween party.
My partner and I had actually planned out a fun homemade meal (pasta bar) for everyone, but MIL became VERY upset that we weren’t getting pizza. She put her foot down so hard that we thought there’d be an actual honest to God fight about it, so we told her she could order the take ‘n bake she wanted.
And of course, I was going to run to the store and get my own favorite pizza. She became SO angry. She insisted that I eat what she ordered, what everyone else was eating, and even offered to buy me ANYTHING that sounded good off the menu.
I told her again that I don’t like anything on the menu and that I’m perfectly willing to go and buy something that I do enjoy instead. She’s still angry with me. FIL is angry with me.
They tried again and again to convince me (they always do) to get something off the take ‘n bake menu.. But I just don’t like it! AITA for buying my own take out instead of what’s being served at the party?.
Check out how the community responded:
Lucky_Six_1530 − “ My partner and I had actually planned out a fun homemade meal (pasta bar) for everyone, but MIL became VERY upset that we weren’t getting pizza.” This is just plain rude of her, especially when she gets mad at you for getting your own food.
JTBlakeinNYC − OP, have you actually sat down with your in-laws and explained that you really, really, truly cannot stand the food from this restaurant? If you have, then they’re TA for continuing to order from a place they know you hate.
If you haven’t, then you’re still NTA, but by a very fine margin, because in the absence of giving them an honest explanation, you come off as someone who is being intentionally difficult by insisting on getting food from a different restaurant every time.
It’s okay not to like the same pizza place that your in-laws do. It’s also okay for them to not like the same pizza place you do. What isn’t okay is not being open about it.
External-Hamster-991 − Wait. So you and your husband were hosting and MIL was furious that you weren’t serving food from the place she knows you hate? Yeah, that’s a hard no.You’re all adults and no one else gets to tell you what you must eat.
Maybe she’s too used to being in charge, maybe she’s a little titched and can’t process the r**ection of what she loves, I don’t know. But what she absolutely is NOT is the boss of you. You have to be willing to stop getting together for meals with them for this to stop.
And to frame it as her distress is worrisome, and to save her from it, it’s best that you don’t eat together anymore.You can see movies, go to places you all want to visit, do any and everything – EXCEPT for eating together.
Because she becomes so upset when eating and you’re afraid for her health. When that is unacceptable, because EVERYTHING revolves around food, tell her there’s one other thing you can think of instead of having to cut off meals.
She can think of it as you being *allergic to that restaurant.* You **CAN’T** eat their food. Your body just can’t do it. It’s not up to you, it has nothing to do with anyone else, and you don’t mind that others love it. They can eat your lifetime share.
If she can make that work, she might be able to keep you guys around. If not, you have to be willing to let her miss you for a while. NTA. Its not that you don’t like it. You’re allergic.
Worth-Season3645 − NTA…So, they are mad at you for the same thing that they would not do? I would ask why thru get so upset that you do not eat any pizza. You have tried different things many times from their place of choice. You do not like it.
What more do they want or expect from you? Where is your partner in all of this? Are they saying something? I would not be going to their events any more if they continue to act like this.
readthethings13579 − So, you were offering to make what sounds like an awesome home cooked meal for the family and she got irate about not having her crappy pizza? This is not okay.
If she’s going to insist that you have to eat what she wants at parties she hosts, then she should also eat what you serve at parties that you host. She’s both a bad host and a bad guest, and I think your partner needs to stop standing for it.
Masta-Blasta − Info: do they own shares in the take and bake place? NTA. Seriously, this is weird behavior.
horsecrazycowgirl − NTA. My in-laws love this one pizza place near their house. I’ve hated it since elementary school. I make it very clear I hate the pizza from there.
When they order from there they make sure they get something else for me that I do like or let me know so I can grab food for myself from somewhere else on the way to them. That’s what normal people do. Your in-laws sound unhinged
Little_Loki918 − NTA. Your ILs are insane. Why hasn’t your husband put his foot down and refuse to give in to her toddler tantrums. He needs to set a clear boundary.
When she is hosting she can order from wherever she wants to, but if it is from THAT restaurant you guys will bring your own food and if she throws a tantrum or makes ANY comments you will both leave and skip the next get together.
And if you guys are hosting she does not get to dictate the menu but she is welcome to bring her own food. But again, any complaints or comments about the food will result in her being asked to leave and again you will skip the next get together.
It is critical though that you and your husband are on the same page and that he is willing to enforce this boundary. Hopefully once she knows that her behavior will no longer be tolerated she will stop acting like this OR other family members will realize that this is NOT NORMAL.
Apart-Scene-9059 − Info: Why not just eat BEFORE the party? NTA: But I feel this isn’t a battle worth fighting about and eating before hand would solve the issue for everyone
CuriousEmphasis7698 − NTA. They are ordering food that they know you won’t like and even pushing back on you providing or preparing other foods at / for events that you have planned. That is a weirdly controlling power play on their part. Your spouse needs to support you and stand up to their parents on this.
Should the Redditor have just gone along with the family’s pizza tradition, or are they right to bring their own food? How would you handle a situation where family expectations clash with personal preferences? Share your thoughts below!
