AITA because I don’t want a friend to bring a guy into my apartment?

A Reddit user wonders if they were wrong for setting a boundary with a friend who planned to stay at their apartment. The user was clear that they didn’t want their friend to bring a hookup to their place, knowing that their friend enjoys one-night stands. The friend took offense, insisting she’d never do such a thing, and chose to stay elsewhere instead. Now, the user questions if their boundary was too presumptive.

‘ AITA because I don’t want a friend to bring a guy into my apartment?’

A friend of mine asked me if she could stay at my place because she was coming to town for a big party. Unfortunately, I was away at the time, but I told her that it wasn’t a problem for me and that she was welcome to stay at my place. However, I also told her that the offer was really only for her and that I wouldn’t like it if she picked up a guy and brought him to my place.

Of course, there is a reason for this because I have known her for a long time and know that she likes one-night stands. That’s completely fine with me, I just don’t want that to happen in my apartment and on my bed. That may be prudish, but that’s the way it is.

Anyway, she’s now upset and claims that she would never have done something like that anyway and that it was rude of me to suggest such a thing. She has now also found another place to sleep. I think it was okay to talk about what I don’t want in my apartment beforehand. She now interprets it as if I think badly of her.. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

kimba-the-tabby-lion −  NTA. If you said this to me I would say “I would never” and thank you again for the free room. I might be mildly aggrieved by the accusation, but understand there is no nice(r) way to set that rule.

If however I’d been planning to hook up with randos in your place, then I might take the high ground and act terribly offended. I most certainly would get a hotel room. Actually, I would probably limit myself to randos who have their own place, but I guess she’s more egalitarian, and feels the indigent also deserve to get laid.

DJ_Too_Supreme_AITA −  NTA. She is upset because she 100% was going to bring a guy into your apartment. I have known her for a long time and know she likes-one night stands. That’s completely fine with me, I just don’t want that to happen in my apartment and on my bed.

That may he prudish, but that’s the way it is. You’re far from being a prude for this. No one wants their friend having s** with a stranger on the bed they sleep on. Thats weird and gross

EwwDavvidd −  NTA. She’s just mad because that was her plan.

Pattyhere −  She found another place because she fully intends on picking someone up at that party.

Apart-Scene-9059 −  NAH: I can understand why you put that condition on her staying over. At the same time I see why she got upset. To me it takes a pretty low person to have s** in their friends bed when being offered a place to stay. So I can see why they would be offended that you believe they would do something like that.

One_Bug_1609 −  NTA. You simply laid out what was expected of her and since you do now that she likes having one night stands it’s not irrational of you to bring that up. She made an issue out of it, not you.

Far_Society_5554 −  NTA. If she has a history of one night stands, she shouldn’t be upset at all that you set that rule. She should say, “Thank you for the free room.” Not getting aggravated due to you setting a boundary in regard to past behavior she displayed. It’s your house. 🤷‍♀️

Beginning-Sample-824 −  It’s YOUR apartment. If you don’t want someone to come there it’s your perogative. Period.

swillshop −  I’m going with NTA. You know her and know that she has a tendency toward ONS. I’m guessing you also know that it was worth being clear about your boundaries because there was at least some real possibility she would have brought a guy over if the restriction hadn’t been made clear.

I also get a whiff of she doth protest too much. I wouldn’t be surprised if she switched where she was staying SO THAT she COULD bring home a random ONS guy. But she doesn’t want to admit that to you. I think you were wise in this instance.

Fantastic-Peach-4499 −  Establishing boundaries for your home space does not make you the a**hole. She should understand that.

Do you think it’s fair to set boundaries about what guests do in your space, or did the user overstep by assuming? Have you ever had to navigate similar guest rules? Share your thoughts!

 

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