Aita for getting my friends MIL arrested?
A Redditor shared their experience of babysitting their friend’s kids when an unexpected visitor—the kids’ estranged grandmother—showed up, banging on the door and demanding to see the oldest child.
Already on edge due to her unannounced arrival and the parents’ prior decision to cut contact, the user called the police, later finding out the grandmother had brought food containing walnuts—a serious allergen for one of the kids.
This led to her arrest, but since then, family members have criticized the Redditor, saying they overreacted. Now, they’re left wondering if they did the right thing. Read the full story below.
‘ Aita for getting my friends MIL arrested?’
A friend of mine had me babysit for the weekend so he and his wife could go out. I stayed at their house with the kids and we were having a lot of fun. The hang out spot is in the basement, its a fully furnished kids space.
We were watching movies and I left them down there to go upstairs to start dinner. I was working when I heard the front door handle jiggle. I froze, knife mid motion cutting up the garlic. I moved and shut down door to the basement before moving towards the front door. It was late, dark put and the only way to see the porch was from the window where I would be seen too.
I was about to look when the banging started. Then a woman’s voice demanded the oldest kid open the door right then. She wasn’t calling for my friend or his wife but for the oldest kid and that scared me a bit. I went downstairs after checking the locks and stayed outside the movie room as I called the police. I explained a woman was banging on the door and yelling for the oldest kid, sounding deranged.
An officer came out and I stayed down with the kids. It was their grandmother, who my friend and his wife were no contact with after she tried to test the middle child’s allergy to walnuts. She claimed there was no way he was allergic to walnuts because her grandfather had a walnut tree so it couldn’t happen.
She was told to leave by the officers after checking on the kids. The parents are in the woods with no reception atm. The kids thought it was great fun and asked a ton of questions about k9 officers. She said she brought the kids food since a stranger doesn’t know them like she does.
This woman brought them walnut chicken, walnut chocolate chip cookies, walnut bread. I explained to the officers there was a child with a severe nut allergy in the house and that looked like enough to kill them.
The officers asked who that was for and she said for the middle kid. They asked if she knew about his allergy and she said he doesn’t have one and his parents made it all up. She ended up in handcuffs and taken off to the station to face charges.
By the time my friend and his wife got back, she was waiting for her day in court. I explained what happened from my side, both parents are fully on my side.
Family members of theirs have taken to social media blasting me for putting my nose where it doesn’t belong. That I was just the baby sitter and I am too old to be watching the kids, that I am a c**ep and a j**k for getting an old woman arrested.
I dont know where to go from here. People said I called the cops way too fast and should have gotten the eldest because she obviously knew the kids were home. Some said I weaponized the police against her. My anxiety over this is sky high and I can’t sleep. My friend said I did nothing wrong, I kept his kids safe.. So am I the a**hole?
I know she is an older woman, the stress of being arrested can’t be good for her… but she was showing up when my friend and his wife were gone with the intention to catch them in a lie about allergies? I thought I did the right thing but maybe I should have just gone out and told her to leave?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Beneficial_Test_5917 − NTA. You acted appropriately at each step of your and the children’s ordeal that evening. A judge will decide soon if you acted too hastily confronting a woman who was “stressed” yet able to bang on a home’s door with food that endangered a child’s life.
RJack151 − NTA. You did a great job protecting the kids that were in your charge.
Motor-Juggernaut1009 − NTA. Your friends should be publicly shaming their relatives on social media. Where are they and why don’t they have your back?
RangeMoney2012 − Hopefully the judge will get her the mental help she needs
wolftasergirl − If she killed the child, I wonder if they’d think you were overreacting still
94Avocado − NTA – You absolutely did the right thing. This woman has already proven herself dangerous by trying to ‘test’ a child’s severe allergy, which is why the parents went no-contact in the first place. The fact that she showed up with multiple walnut-containing foods specifically targeting the allergic child shows this wasn’t a misunderstanding – it was premeditated.
She likely knew the parents were away and thought she could manipulate or intimidate you, as a babysitter, into giving her access to the children. Instead, you protected them exactly as their parents would have wanted, which they’ve confirmed by supporting your actions.
The police’s response validates how serious this situation was. People claiming you ‘weaponized’ the police are ignoring that she brought potentially lethal food items specifically for a child she knows has severe allergies.
You weren’t calling the cops on a confused grandmother – you were protecting children from someone with a documented history of endangering them.
Future_Direction5174 − Strong NTA x 100. The parents were not home. You were “in loco parentis” (acting in place of a parent). There is an unknown (to you) woman banging on the door demanding access to the children. You called the Police. So far so good.
Then you discover AFTER the Police arrived that this woman had cooked a lot of food to which the child was KNOWINGLY (she had been told) highly allergic to. This woman had been warned that the allergy existed, but refused to accept this and wanted to “test it” with so much child friendly bakes that it would have KILLED the child if it had eaten it.
I expect that she knew the parents weren’t home, and expected the babysitter to be a young person who wouldn’t know what to do, and would let her in. How do you know that this woman wasn’t armed?
Ok, grandmother was no longer younger – but she wouldn’t be in her dotage. I am 63, and my oldest grandchild is 19. I doubt that she was that “elderly” to be honest.. GOOD ON YOU!
kam49ers4ever − NTA. Sleep well at night knowing you prevented an attempted m**der.
InedibleCalamari42 − honestly, “attempted m**der” should be among the charges against her.. OP, you did the right thing. NTA.
AnyBioMedGeek − Obviously NTA. Parents are nc because she tried to kill their kid and she showed up trying to do it again when they weren’t home, which she likely knew based on when she showed up… which means she’s stalking them as well and they should take out restraining orders on her for them AND their kids
Do you think the Redditor overstepped by calling the police, or did they make the right choice to prioritize the children’s safety? How would you handle a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!
