AITA for refusing to take “check in” photos for my bodybuilding bf?
A Reddit user shared a dilemma involving her bodybuilding boyfriend, whom she’s supporting financially while he focuses on his fitness career. Although she has a busy schedule managing her own social media work and their household, her boyfriend regularly asks for her assistance in setting up equipment for his weekly “check-in” photos, despite having tripods and lights available.
Frustrated by his reliance on her for simple tasks he could manage, she refused to help, sparking an argument about support and independence. Read the full story below to see how it unfolded.
‘ AITA for refusing to take “check in” photos for my bodybuilding bf?’
SO (m33) and I (f31) have been together going on 4 years and have a toddler. After two years of struggling to get back into work after the baby (housecleaning in the meantime) I am finally getting a stable income. Bodybuilding professionally has always been SO’s dream so we decided this is the year for him to do it, and I would fully support him.
Bodybuilding is expensive to do so our deal was that I will cover the bills and rent and he will cover his coaching/household groceries since he will eat a LOT/supplements so he can focus 100% on bodybuilding and take a step back from working full time. Another notable thing is it is both of our goals to live from social media income.
We discuss this constantly and it is a dream of ours. For context; I have over 145k followers over 4 platforms that I have grown in the past year and a half. I get a fair amount of income, nothing crazy but enough to cover bills. I’m filming myself all day and when I’m not filming I am editing and posting and it’s incredibly time consuming.
Because of this we have 3 tripods and 2 photography lights. They are super easy to set up and fold away, simple inexpensive ones from Amazon. SO has 8k followers but only works on 1 platform. SO’s on week 3 of coaching and has to send a “check in” photo to his coach along with his weight in the AM every Wednesday.
Last week and the week before I helped him but I told him he should use a tripod so it’s a more consistent angle for a photo, also because I have a lot to do myself and can’t just drop everything to help him every single time. He also has been lazy to go to the gym in the morning to get his actual weight and has been sending the weight from days prior for check ins.
This morning (Wednesday) he again asked me to help him take photos but that he needs to use the photo lights we have. I told him sure, go set up the light while I get my coffee ready and milk ready for our toddler when she wakes up in a minute.
I finish getting the milk ready and he was standing there with his phone and the folded light on the ground with the cord still wrapped neatly around it. He didn’t even try to set it up and was waiting for me to come do it for him. I lost my temper and told him forget it, he can do it all himself and use one of our 3 tripods.
I went to get our toddler and left him to fend for himself. He told me he didn’t know how to extend the light and didn’t want to try in case he breaks it or something. He also said he didn’t know how to extend any of our 3 tripods.. that we have had for over a year.
I told him if he wants to be a bodybuilder influencer he better figure out how to use a simple tripod and photo light and good luck honestly if he can’t do that on his own. He is angry that I didn’t just take a couple seconds to take the photos for him since it’s only once per week and only takes a moment. He also said that I promised to support him, which is true.. Am I the AH for not helping him?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
SweatyTax4669 − WTF did I just read? Your life sounds exhausting. But ESH. It takes approximately 30 seconds to take a photo. You don’t need perfect lighting and angle. He should understand how to operate basic equipment like a light or a tripod. Or ask how before it becomes a critical event.
SO’s on week 3 of coaching … He also has been lazy to go to the gym in the morning week three and he’s not still pumped (heh heh) to get to the gym? He ain’t gonna make it. Do you all not own a scale?
OGWriggle − ESH yall are cartoons
Beneficial_Praline53 − ESH. This entire arrangement and lifestyle sounds like a disaster on both sides.
PJ1883 − This is honestly the most stupid AITH I have ever read.
ThePrinceVultan − A couple of quick questions from someone who used to pick heavy things up and put them down at the amateur competition level – is he already built? Has he been lifting for years? Because short of taking massive doses of gear if he isn’t already built he ain’t getting to the pro level in a year naturally.
Hell, 5 years is much more realistic – for someone in their late teens to early 20’s. For someone in their 30’s if he is starting off from the ground floor it is going to be much harder to get built.
Plus does he even have the proper frame for it? Doesn’t matter how much supplements or gear he does if he has the build of a string bean. Or if he’s tall, like above 5’8″. Arnold was a marvel because he was such a f**king aberration from the norm.
ahknewb − Bodybuilding professionally has always been SO’s dream so we decided this is the year for him to do it, and I would fully support him. Is that a thing? Like… what percentage of bodybuilders can support themselves?
That feels like him deciding to try out for the NBA – odds sure aren’t in his favor. But if you’re OK with that, sure. It seems like he wants to be a professional bodybuilder without putting ALL the work – clearly its more than just hitting the gym.. You are NTA
andromache97 − Bodybuilding professionally has always been SO’s dream. Another notable thing is it is both of our goals to live from social media income. We discuss this constantly and it is a dream of ours.
I’m filming myself all day and when I’m not filming I am editing and posting and it’s incredibly time consuming. I am so glad i don’t have goals and dreams and i just work my 9-5ish desk job ngl
MuffinSpirited3223 − ESH. social media influencers…
Filosifee − ESH. Not sure if this is a shitpost or not, but if it isn’t you both sound incredibly self-absorbed. You s**k for assuming people can just “figure it out”, and he sucks for not communicating clearly what his needs are.
TheVaneja − NTA weaponized incompetence at work. I could maybe give him a break if he had asked you to show him how but even that is questionable. He didn’t ask anyway so it’s not a consideration.
Was the Redditor fair in expecting her boyfriend to take on more independence in his bodybuilding journey, or should she be more understanding of his needs, given their agreement? How would you handle balancing personal support with the need for self-reliance in a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!
