AITA for not budging on my wedding colour scheme?

One Reddit user is caught in a color clash with his fiancée while planning their wedding. He has let her take the lead on most decisions, but when it came to his favorite color—Cadbury purple—for his attire, he insisted on keeping it.

His fiancée, however, feels it doesn’t suit their modern rustic barn venue, sparking tension between them. With his color choice being his one big request, he’s now wondering if he’s being unreasonable. Read the full story below to see the couple’s dilemma.

‘ AITA for not budging on my wedding colour scheme?’

So my fiancé(F34) and I(m27) have been dating for almost 5 years and have been engaged for about 9 months, we’ve recently started discussing about planning the wedding, I’ll be honest she’s doing a great job in planning it out, setting the budget, arranging venue viewings, etc.

She is doing the majority of the planning herself and as it’s her big day I’m just letting her choose what she wants. We’ve recently gotten to the stage where we have to talk about colour schemes for my suit accessories and the bridesmaids dresses.

My favourite colour is Cadbury Purple, it always has been. So I said I want that, at first she just said “okay” and we moved on. It then got to the point where she was suggesting different types of colours we could have, “lilac, peach, sage green, baby blue”.

I said “I already told you I want Cadbury purple”. She said that I can’t have Cadbury purple because it doesn’t go with anything. I said im fine with her picking and choosing everything to do with the wedding but the only input I want to add is what I will be wearing.

She started to get into a strop, saying that I’m making it difficult and asking if we can just compromise and I said that it wouldn’t be compromising if it’s not the colour I want.

I said if I don’t have Cadbury purple then I don’t care what colour I have and she should just pick it herself and not pretend that I have a say in the wedding when I clearly don’t. So am I the a**hole for wanting to stick to the only input I want to have in our wedding..

EDIT:
I am not wanting a full purple suit as most people are imagining, even though I do like the joker I don’t want to be cosplaying him on my wedding day. The idea I had was very simple, plain black trousers, white shirt, purple tie and a white blazer.

For extra context the main reason my fiancé isn’t keen on the colour is because it doesn’t go with the aesthetics of our venue, it’s a beautiful modern rustic barn with fairy lights and bright atmosphere, she believes that the colour I chose will contrast too much in what she envisioned.

To the people saying that because we can’t pick a colour we shouldn’t get married, we’re not going to let a colour scheme end our relationship.

I understand that my taste may not be the best. I’ve never been one to care about how I look and I don’t really wear anything special other then football tops and joggers, but I do like my idea of what I want to wear and I don’t think it’s too outlandish and if you do then, hey your e**itled to your opinion on that.

I also don’t know if I explained it too well, with the planning itself we are very very early stages, we’ve not even set a date yet. All the work which has been done so far is budget, a few venue viewings, guest list(which I did have an input in) and starting to pick a colour scheme.

Just for those who were berating me in the comments saying that she has done all this work by herself, and I’m making it harder for her. the work hasn’t begun yet. I’ve told her if she wants my input on anything I’ll help but I don’t want to get in her way of having the wedding she wants.

Check out how the community responded:

Trick_Delivery4609 −  If you guys can’t compromise on wedding colors, your marriage doesn’t look too promising. It is soooo much harder once you get married. 

 Would you consider purple ties? Purple flowers or decor? I think that deep purple could go with lots of things or even her bridesmaids dresses. She probably just wants you to wear a “normal” black suit or something more normal. Sit her down and ask. Do you HAVE to wear all purple or just a piece? .  ESH 

ChiltonGains −  YTA. Not because you want to have your purple suit stuff, but because you’re not involved with any of the other planning.
You can’t just plan one thing and then leave everything else to your fiancé. Cause of course your pick is going to clash with everything else!

You boxed yourself into a corner by not being involved in any of the other decisions. Now your previous color scheme doesn’t go with anything else! If that’s something that’s important to you in the wedding, you gotta be involved in the rest of the planning!

Severe_Chicken213 −  YTA. You’ve dumped the burden of planning everything on her, then give her the challenge of trying to incorporate Cadbury purple into a decent colour scheme.

She’s offered several compromises of non traditional colours, so it’s not that she wants to stick you in traditional black, she just can’t figure out how to plan a wedding with Willy Wonka. But you’re unwilling to work with her at all. You’ve only contributed to one decision, and it’s now dictating the rest of the wedding that you aren’t even planning.

JudgeJudyScheindlin −  LOL this one is hilarious. Buddy, you don’t get a say if you don’t help with the planning, plain and simple. You get to come in and make an executive decision and then she needs to source suits, decorations, and other wedding items in your specific Cadbury purple?

Ridiculous! If you were an active participant in the wedding planning process that would be different, but you’re sitting back and letting her do all the work so you can just show up day of and enjoy yourself.. 10000 percent YTA.

babjbhba −  YTA you can’t expect to leave all planning to your fiancé then get mad when she does all the planning. You chose not to have any say in the planning.

Serendipnick −  YTA. Cadbury purple? What are you, Willy Wonka? But on a bigger scale, I truly don’t understand this approach to weddings. They’re supposed to be an opportunity for your friends and family to celebrate your love and not an opportunity to micromanage a hundred people.

I can assure you that twenty years down the line, the only time you’ll remember what your bridesmaids wore is when you look at the photos. A wedding is an EVENT, marriage is a state – don’t enter into it being pissy about Cadbury purple.

And for the inevitable Reddit hordes about to descend with cries of “boundaries!” and “lots of people dream about their weddings!” and “Why shouldn’t OP get this one thing?”, I see you: and I say to you, because (continued from top of this post).

RecipeDangerous3710 −  “I said that it wouldn’t be compromising if it’s not the colour I want.” That’s the literal opposite of the word compromise, lol. If she’s picking everything and you’re taking a backseat, it’s kinda douchey to dictate a colour, which will then influence everything else. YTA.

11SkiHill −  YTA. With terrible taste.
Let the bride do her thing. What’s wrong with you?

lavenderhaze91 −  YTA. 1. You haven’t helped and basically saying “ya but she wanted to plan/she’s good at it/she would have asked if she wanted help” is weaponising incompetence and you sound like an AH. Like you’re so the AH

2. Cadbury purple is u**y my dude. You must have known that it wasn’t gonna look good ESPECIALLY with a white suit. You’re not the AH for having bad taste but my god you have bad taste. Don’t ruin the HARD WORK your finance has put into this wedding because you’re being p** headed over a suit colour. Get a purple flower for your suit and get the hell over yourself.

Fluffy_Sheepy −  INFO. Why is she doing all the planning? It’s both of your big days, you should both be involved with the planning.
Also NTA for wanting to wear your favorite color. If a bride is allowed to be a**l about her perfect dress on her big day, the same should apply to the groom and his suit. At bare minimum you should be able to wear something you like and are comfortable with.