AITA ex-girlfriend that i spent thousands on, wants me to borrow money to give her back a $500 that she lent me for rent when i lost my job?

A man’s ex-girlfriend demanded repayment of a $500 loan she gave him for rent during his unemployment, despite him explaining that he hasn’t been paid yet.

When she pressured him to borrow money elsewhere, he got frustrated and responded harshly, saying she should stop nagging and wait for his salary, even suggesting she return everything he spent on her in the past. Now, he’s wondering if he overreacted. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA ex-girlfriend that i spent thousands on, wants me to borrow money to give her back a $500 that she lent me for rent when i lost my job?’

AITA when my ex-girlfriend that i spent thousands on, messaged me today asking for a 500 that she lent me for rent when i lost my job, back in a pushy way, after she already asked me last night and i told her that ofcourse, she’ll get her money back but i still havent got my salary yet?

she texted me today saying shes not taking money from her dad anymore, thus why shes asking again. i told her not to pressure me, as i still havent got my salary yet. she tells me that its not her problem and that i should borrow some money from someone to pay her back. I then said this:

“As much as i once loved you, as much as i regret doing so. you not taking money from your dad anymore wouldve been my problem a few months ago, it aint now. its crazy that you got the guts to nag me to pay you back when you know how bad my situation currently is.

and you really talking about 500? give me back everything i spent on you then. you’ll get your money back, just stop pressuring me and wait till i get my salary.” i feel like i went overboard. AITA?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Odd_Discipline3608 −  Money you spent on her when you were in love is gone and you did that because it made you/her happy. Money she LENT you (i.e. a loan, which is to be paid back) is very different and you shouldn’t confuse the two. Be mature and don’t go down that road of pettiness.

You’ve given her a very reasonable timeframe of when you will pay her back, if she doesn’t like it tell her she can take you to court; otherwise she needs to s**k it up.

Jayxcer −  I mean you already gave her a timeline of when you’d pay her back and I’m assuming she agreed. NTA, I don’t see the point of including you spent thousands on her though, doesn’t really add to the story

Spirallama −  You spending money on her is not the same as her loaning you money, if you both agreed it was a loan that you’d pay back. You spent thousands on her willingly so that’s just a cost you’ll have to bear, and it doesn’t offset the fact that you still owe her money – tbh its irrelevant.

That said, I think you’re NTA because she is aware of your situation and it’s frankly kinda mean to treat you like that. She’ll get the money when she gets it, just don’t message her until then.

[Reddit User] −  She might be struggling to survive too, hence her being too eager to get the money. Life’s a cruel b**ch to most people.

[Reddit User] −  As much as it might s**k, money spent on her was money you elected to spend knowing it was never coming back. You borrowed with the intent of paying back. Don’t mix the two up. Going down that path just sullies you and your reputation. All that said, you’ve put forth when you can pay her back.

Pay her back promptly according to the timeline you gave. If you can not, be big enough to talk it through with her and gain agreement on another time. You losing your job wasn’t her problem any more than her not taking money from her father is yours. Your debts are yours. You agreed to them. Honor your obligations.

Fine-Assignment4342 −  INFO: What were the terms of the agreement for the loan? The money you spent on her is irrelevant

Emotional-Base-5988 −  I’m unable to render a judgment because this is f**king unreadable

BobR969 −  Info: did you outline your expected payback date with her when she lent you the money? As in “thanks for lending me 500, I’ll get it back to you from my first salary of the new job I just got”?  If the above is the case, then she’s just gonna have to grit and bear it.

However! I’d still say ESH, because of your reply. The money you spent on her were gifts to her while you were together. You weren’t lending her that money, nor were you “subscribed” to the relationship by offering tithes to the gf gods. Painting it as if she owes you for all the stuff you got her is pretty b**lshit.

Boiling it down – be the bigger man here. You shouldn’t have replied with the petty comment and unfair accusations that she somehow owes you. However, it is equally unfair for her to lend you money in a time of need and then suddenly expect it back before a reasonable time. 

PathDeep8473 −  Pay her back.. Don’t spend anymore on her.

StaringBlnklyAtMyNVL −  When my ex and I broke up and he asked me to repay the $400 he’d lent me, I reminded him he hadn’t paid me any bills for months while living with me rent free, added up his total, did the maths and told him that less his $400, he actually owed me over $600.

He didn’t ask for his money again. I suggest you do the same.

Was his response reasonable under the circumstances, or should he have handled it differently? Share your thoughts below!