AITA for being ungrateful about my bday present ?

A woman turning 21 shares frustration over her parents’ decision to buy her jewelry, despite knowing she doesn’t wear or enjoy it. While her brothers were allowed to choose gifts suited to their interests, she wasn’t given the same option, as her parents insisted on jewelry due to family tradition.

They called her ungrateful for requesting a more practical gift, leaving her conflicted about whether her feelings were reasonable. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for being ungrateful about my bday present ?’

Okay, so it’s my (20f) bday next week and where I live turning 21 is a big deal so my parents are spending a little more on presents this year. I was very excited about this, and began to think of stuff that i may like within the same budget they gave my brother.

This is when my parents told me there was no need to come up with anything as they and everyone else would be getting me jewellery. I’m not a jewellery girl at all. I never wear it. I think it looks very pretty but I can’t just never be bothered and know it would go to waste on me.

I told my parents while very generous, would it be possible for a different present, something I would’ve use more as they allowed both my brothers to pick what they wanted.
They immediately said no and called me very ungrateful. I see where they’re coming from, and I know this is such a stupid and ridiculous problem to have.

But I still think it’s a little unfair. Edit: a lot of people have been asking about whether it’s a big part of my culture to receive jewellery for various reasons. It’s not, however, my family are very traditional and every woman has always received jewellery on her birthday, whether she wants to or not. I suppose the idea is to hand it down to my children some day.

People have also been asking about what my brothers spent theirs on. One bought skis and skiing equipment, and the other one bought a kilt (which is traditional dress where I grew up)

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Funny-Salamander-826 −  NTA. Don’t call yourself ungrateful, cause you’re just reacting to an unfair way to treat you as opposed as your brothers, cause you’re getting useless s**t you don’t like. Also, a present isn’t a gift anymore if it’s not what you want, it defeats the purpose of even getting you a gift. If they still get you jewelry sell it even if they’ll be sad if you do that.

dumbass_oli −  NTA, why would they spend money on something they know you aren’t going to use?

Angelblade92 −  NTA – It sounds kind of sexist, not to mention wasteful if you don’t even like jewellery. You handled it respectfully and it’s not fair of your parents to make you feel as though you have been ungrateful.

Alba_gu_Brath7 −  NTA you expressed the gift is expensive and not something you would use and asked if it could be spent on something more practical. Seems a reasonable request, especially as your brothers got a say in their gifts why should you be any different

TeacherWithOpinions −  They’re not going to spend money to buy jewelry, they’re going to give her pieces that the women already own. Boys deserve things, girls don’t. She doesn’t hold as much value as her brothers in the family.. NTA

mackeyca87 −  NTA- you don’t wear jewelry and they see that. They just want to give you something they want to give you. It’s about them not you. When they ask you why you not wearing the jewelry then say I told you I don’t wear jewelry.

mlc885 −  INFO. What is the culture and what did your brothers get to pick? I agree with you if picking presents is a thing, but your parents clearly have a different idea. Which could be based on culture.

maitaivegas1 −  Sounds like they are getting her jewelry because they want her to start being more feminine so they can marry her off

CandylandCanada −  NTA. Gifts are supposed to be for the benefit of the recipient.

0beef0 −  NTA if they haven’t bought it yet. Idk why they wouldn’t just get you something else if they haven’t spent any money on it yet. I don’t think it’s a big deal

Is she justified in wanting a gift she’ll use, or should family tradition take priority? Share your thoughts below!