AITAH For telling my in laws we are not paying them back, because they lived with my wife and I for free for 6 months?

A man and his wife borrowed $1,000 from her parents to cover taxes, then later housed them rent-free for six months during their relocation. The couple assumed that the free stay balanced the loan, but the in-laws now demand repayment, insisting the couple’s hospitality was just family duty.

When the husband refused, citing the costs they incurred, the disagreement escalated. read the original story below…

‘ AITAH For telling my in laws we are not paying them back, because they lived with my wife and I for free for 6 months?’

My wife and I ended up owing taxes for the first time in our adult lives. We didn’t have the money, and my wife asked her parents for help, they gave us the 1,000.00 USD we were short.

In between this ask for help and now, my in laws decided they wanted to live closer to us, part of that move was them asking if they could live with my wife and I while they found a new place to live. We agreed, we even helped them move (two states away), paying for our own air fare and helping them drive their U-Haul and vehicles to our home.

They stayed with us for 6 months, during this time we didn’t charge them any rent, ask for help for the increased utilities, or any money during their stay. We helped them move into their new home near us, and now they are talking about us paying them back for the money they gave us to help with our taxes.

I was a bit blind sided because my wife and I thought it would wash because of all the help we gave them to move here. When we talked to them about it, they made a statement along the lines of you did what was expected to help your family, you still owe us that money.

I told them no, we aren’t paying you back, we spent money helping you move, had increased costs letting you live with us, and we never charged you for any of that. AITAH for telling my in laws we aren’t paying them back, because we helped them move, and let them live with us for 6 months?

EDIT: This is being asked a lot, no, the money given was not presented as a loan. When asked for it, we asked how we could pay it back, and they said just show us a fun time when we come to visit. They were planning on visiting us next month.

See what others had to share with OP:

BigBigBigTree −  INFO: Did you know they expected you to pay back the $1000 before you let them stay with you?

Happy-go-luckyAlways −  NTA – But if they insist you pay them back, give them a bill for moving and lodging for 6months. That would be way more than 1k.

LouisV25 −  NTA. Doesn’t sound like repayment for the taxes or living was ever agreed to by the parties. Family doesn’t have to let you live with them expenses free, that’s ridiculous. I will also note that you married into the family.

If their daughter doesn’t owe them free room and board, you most certainly don’t. I’d either pay them back and tell them they get no more “family” help because it certainly doesn’t apply to them helping their own child.. OR. Not pay them at all.

ironchef8000 −  you did what was expected to help your family, you still owe us that money. Excuse me?! Originally I was leaning slightly to their side. It seemed like bad communication, and I could understand how they might be expecting payback for the cash. But wow, you turned me right around with that line.

Family relationships are not a one-way street. It’s not “expected” in one direction and also paid back in that direction. These people need to wake up and smell the reality. NTA

Waste_Worker6122 −  NTA. Living somewhere for six months rent-free is worth considerably more than $1000. Just hope you don’t owe taxes again this year.

many_hobbies_gal −  NTA but I would consider paying them back simply to shut them up. In the future, they would be extended no courtesy’s such as this ever again, or not without clear delineation of the repayment. I know this isn’t what you want to hear.

If you don’t you will never hear the end of it or it will be dangled like a carrot in front of your face. At the end of the day, none of us knows what the future holds.

IceSensitive4563 −  you need the spreadsheet or handwritten out with copies of the household utilities costs before they moved in, and aglfter they moved in for the 6 months. then list the airline tickets, and a tally of all the costs. have a meeting. tell them how could they possibly expect repayment after all this.

lay it all out. … and now you know who you are dealing with so never help them again because they are so e**itled it’s disgusting.. . Start saving money for their nursing home & nurse fees because they sound like the types that will expect you alk to drop work & everything to care for them with no feeling for your needs.

kjerstje −  If they continue to ask for the (gifted) money, I would present them with a rent bill (and utilities) for the time the lived with you. Plus a bill for the moving help. If they complain, just compare to THEIR sudden claim that the gifted money now suddenly was called a loan.

spidertattootim −  NTA – from what you’ve said it sounds like they changed their minds about the money being a loan, maybe because they’ve realised they need the money or their circumstances have changed.

If they were honest about that, it might be okay if they were *really* in dire straits and they *asked* you if you could pay them back, but *telling* you you should pay them back is absolutely not okay after you’ve supported them so substantially.   .  They sound like e**itled jerks.

squirrelsareevil2479 −  INFO. When you borrowed the money was there terms set regarding repayment? When you agreed to let them live with you, was there a discussion such as “the rent money you aren’t paying will be applied to the loan you gave us”.

There seems to be a complete lack of communication regarding what is a loan and what is family obligation. Please explain what the terms of the loan and them living with you were. ETA Did you repay any of the loan and when was the expectation that you would start doing so?

Should the couple still repay the loan, or does the help they provided make it even? Share your thoughts below!