AITA For wanting to break up with my GF after finding out the truth?

A Redditor reflects on his two-year relationship with his girlfriend, which began with a strong friendship and an unrequited crush. After finally becoming a couple, he discovers that she had been dating and sleeping with multiple guys throughout their friendship, even while they were spending intimate time together. Feeling used and disrespected, he is now questioning whether to break up with her. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA For wanting to break up with my GF after finding out the truth?’

I am a 30 (M) and my GF a 29 (F) have been dating for 2yrs now. I recently took my gf on a getaway weekend, nothing fancy just a four day weekend to the Hilton Hotel going on fun outings she mentioned she wanted to do like ice skating, dancing, painting and other fun activities. I am in love with this beautiful woman, before we started dating we worked at the same job together and been friends for a long time.

I soon grew a crush on her because she was so cool to talk to and be around, I was also friends with her ex BF (they’ve been broken up for a year or two by the time I started liking her) and I wanted to ask the ex BF since we were friends would it be ok if I ask her on a date. He said absolutely and had no problems with me and her possibly dating one another, a day later I asked her to a drive in theater movie and she said yes.

And after that first movie date we made the drive in theater our weekend thing and we would also go out to eat or to comic conventions and anywhere we spend time together. One day I wanted to make it official so I asked would she like to be my GF, she said she wanted to remains just friends although hurt a little I was absolutely fine with her decision we still continued our weekend movie nights and outings.

But every once in awhile she would show signs that she liked me, she wouldn’t let any other talk to me or if I mentioned a girl I thought was cute she would say under her breath “she better stay away from my man” so catching these hints I stopped talking to other girls and didn’t bother to ask any girl out thinking she wanted to go out with me, I asked her to be my GF again but again she said she just wanted to be friends.

A few weeks later she would quit the job we worked at together and find a new job but we would still hangout on the weekends. One day I was out running errands and saw her on a date with someone, I didn’t approach them of course. But I have a rule not to go out to movies or any date like activities with a girl who has a BF or is dating in respect for the BF.

So I stopped inviting her on our weekend hangouts without telling her why, she didn’t mind because her attention was on the other guy. I wanted to give her and the guy I thought she was dating their space. 3 months passed of us not texting or hanging out and out of the blue she texted me asking could we hangout to catch up and chat.

I said yes of course and we did after that we started hanging out again going to the movie together and she would come over my place almost every day and we would watch movies there until 12 or 1 AM. And once again she would drop hints that she liked me but I wasn’t going to ask her out a third time just in case I was wrong if she liked me she would have to ask me out.

And after four months she finally did, I said yes almost immediately. Which brings us to her telling me after our weekend getaway away that the entire time we were hanging out before we got together she was dating and sleeping with other guys, and around the time I asked her ex BF if I could date her they were still sleeping together while we was going on to the drive in theaters and spending the weekends together.

Even during the months of her coming over my place and hanging out until midnight after the 3 month gap of us not talking she was still sleeping with other guys. She told me she didn’t want any other girls talking to me because she liked me the entire time we was hanging out she just wasn’t ready for a relationship, but once she went to her new job she jumped into a 4 month relationship.

Even the night before she asked me to be her BF she went on a date and slept with a guy and she was hoping for a second date with him but he ghosted her, she told me she liked that I was nice to her but wanted to have s** without any attachment which is why she slept with other guy while hanging out with me.

I’m the beginning of the relationship she told me she danced with other dudes at the club while out with friends, kisses a guy and would get in random dudes cars when she needed a ride. So AITA for wanting to breakup with her after finding out she used me and making me her last resort?. 

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Ultralusk −  OP I’ve been through something like this before. I am gonna start off by saying NTA. What this looks like to me is that this girl is very aware that you like her and she enjoys the level of attention that you’re giving her. She knows you’re an ego boost that she can keep in her back pocket and because of that she won’t let you move on to other girls and makes you think you have a chance with her. Do not play these games OP, this isn’t right.

Dear_Captain_2748 −  NTA, this feels so m**ipulative of her. It sounds like she strung you along. She knew you liked her, wanted movies and essentially ‘dates’ with you but zero commitment just so she could go on wild escapades.

She made sure to be loud enough you would hear her without actually saying it out loud ‘she better stay away from my man’. If she didn’t care she wouldn’t have said anything. She could have never actually spoke the words. But she did. Did you pay for all those hangouts?.

Louder for the people giving YTA, She slept with someone the day before asking you to be her bf. She slept with a guy, got ghosted the very next morning, went to your place and asked you to be her bf. If he hadn’t ghosted her, she wouldn’t have gone to OPs and asked him. She would keep him on the sideline. She is a mega ah.

Pure_Aide_6678 −  NTA break it off with her. You really happy being last choice?

Petefriend86 −  NTA. The issue isn’t her sleeping with other people, it’s the manipulation in making sure that OP wasn’t.

Agitated_Budgets −  NTA. You’re feeling angry that she used you as a backup plan. Or had you as a secondary priority while she had her fun. She wasn’t up front about her activities because she knew you would lose interest and get distant. In a world where she tells you she wants to do casual stuff and isn’t ready for a relationship but in a year she’d want to date you I guarantee you would’ve moved on.

She knew that. And so she didn’t tell you that. You’ve been manipulated. Even if it wasn’t overtly lying to you when you smell smoke you know something’s a little burnt. Someone who does things like this may do them again to you in other ways. If you don’t want to deal with that end it.

But understand why you’re upset here. She lied with truth. To keep you in the position she wanted you. Until she wanted to do something else with you. And you got your emotions jerked around not knowing what was going on because even though she technically didn’t say anything false she knew she was hiding the whole truth to keep the chess board set up how she likes it.

hideme21 −  Don’t date this girl. And stop being friends with her “ex” who continued to sleep with her after you checked with him if you could ask her out.

Eldhannas −  NTA for dumping her, but damn, man, learn to use paragragrahs.

SnooAdvice4901 −  She’s almost 30 and ready to settle for the nice guy. Streaming now on Disney+

Money-Bear7166 −  NTA in the least. Dude, you’re not her boyfriend and never have been. You’re her backup guy when she’s not getting any attention or well, just any.. Run. Don’t look back. Ever.

Super_Inspector_9186 −  Damn.. this girl is the devil in disguise… kick her the curb and move on.. run OP! Run!! NTA

Do you think the user is justified in wanting to break up with his girlfriend after learning about her actions during their friendship? How would you handle a situation where you felt used or disrespected in a relationship? Share your thoughts below!