AITA for throwing away the expensive whiskey my brother got me for my 40th?

A Reddit user, a 40-year-old man, recently celebrated his birthday with a family gathering at his apartment. He’s a recovered alcoholic with six years of sobriety, and he no longer allows alcohol in his home. For his birthday, his brother gifted him an expensive bottle of whiskey, despite knowing about his sobriety.

When his brother began pouring shots for everyone, including ignoring his request to stop, the user became upset. His daughter also had a panic attack from the smell of the alcohol, which made the situation worse. In a moment of frustration, the user threw the whiskey bottle away.

Now, his family is upset with his actions, and he’s wondering if he was in the wrong. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for throwing away the expensive whiskey my brother got me for my 40th?’

I’m 40M, just turned forty last week. I’m divorced and have 2 teenage kids with my ex wife, 17M and 14F. My whole family came to my and my GF’s appartment last Saturday for my birthday party: my parents, some aunts and uncles, some cousins, my 3 brothers with their families, my two kids (and my GF’s 15yro son who lives with us).

I am a recovered a**oholic, I’ve been sober for 6 years now. Alcohol absolutely ruined my life, it destroyed my marriage and nuked my relationship with my kids for years. I don’t allow alcohol in my home now, for anyone. It just isn’t served or tolerated here. My entire family knows this very well, as they know my entire history with alcohol.

For my 40th, my brother bought me a very expensive bottle of whiskey, it had writing on it, a very heavy bottle and very old whiskey, so it probably cost him a couple hundred bucks. When he gave me the bottle, I was shocked, and said I don’t drink, but thanks for the gift. He then opened the bottle and started pouring shots in plastic cups for everyone.

My daughter had a panic attack at the smell of the alcohol (which I am painfully aware is my fault and I will never forgive myself for it), so I told my brother to take the alcohol out on the balcony and just leave it there. He wouldn’t do it, and took a shot of the whiskey. I told him to seriously stop it and he proceeded to pour the whiskey.

He then said I am acting like a sober saint now, when I ruined everyone’s birthdays for years with my drinking. I told him to come to the hallway with me and talk it out. He refused and put a glass of whiskey in my hand. I took the trash can, threw the whiskey bottle in it and the plastic cups, and took the trash out.

My brother then stormed off and my mom followed him. She later called me, demanding an apology for disrespecting my brother like that. My dad said I was being overly sensitive, and some of my other family members also agree.. Aita here?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

AbroadTemporary5359 −  NTA. What your brother did is really, really awful and cruel. Possibly the worst gift I’ve ever heard of someone giving another, especially as he is aware of your struggles and recovery. . Congratulations on recovery and standing up for yourself and your family.

ABeerAndABook −  WTF! NTA. Brother was being horrendously a**sive/taunting. Read the room dude, especially the pain this caused the kids. Not a situation to double down on your bottle flex. Mom and anyone upset at OP can pound sand and get their juice on their own time.

OP should have drain poured it to prevent them from dumpster diving afterwards. I say this as someone who drinks. The level of disrespect shown OP here is off the charts. NC the lot of them. Edit: I realized I was being too charitable towards brothers intent.

Select_UserName −  NTA, your brother clearly has some lingering resentment and issues about your past but instead of talking to you about it like an adult, he chose the pettiest, most passive agressive, and most inappropiate way to adress it. You don’t do that s**t in front of the whole family and specially not the kids, who as you said, suffered enough already. Your brother is an a**hole and your family is insane for supporting that behavior.

MbMinx −  Hell no!!!. You are **NTA**. I’m a recovering a**oholic, too and I’d have physically removed anyone from my house for “gifting” me a bottle of alcohol. Your family is crazy, and your brother is a**orrent. He’s the one who openly disrespected you, and the rest of your family can kick rocks.

You owe no apologies. You actually owe them NOTHING (including any explanation or reply). Congratulations on six years!!! I swear it keeps getting better. Ok, life keeps happening, but I keep getting better…I’m proud of you.

rowegram −  NTA – did you call your sponsor? 6 years is no joke – but I’ve seen more people break down between 5-10 than any other span.
Take this seriously for your sobriety sake and make sure you talk to someone in your circle about it.. Congratulations on your hard work.

funkProphet −  NTA. Is he one of the reasons you started drinking? What an e**itled lemon crusted tea stain of a wet fart. He might be angry at you for your past, but clearly being an a**hole is part of his personality. He knew exactly what he was doing and he had full intention to hurt you.

Unknown_Frog_12 −  NTA. If there’s anyone who’s an a**hole here, it will be your brother. Alcohol addiction is not a joke. If they want to drink, they should’ve done it on their OWN birthday party. This kind of family member makes me vomit.

diminishingpatience −  NTA. This is horrific. Your brother acted shamefully and your mother’s response is incomprehensible.

NerdyGirlChicago −  As a child of two a**oholic parents, this would be such a nightmare situation for me. I totally relate to your 14yo for freaking out. My mom has been sober for almost 7 years and I still have nightmares of her relapsing. So seeing her near alcohol or even holding a glass would be super upsetting. And I’m almost 28.

NTA. Please comfort and reassure your kids too. Good on you for getting sober! Not an easy feat.

mrcrazy2u −  NTA, run from this. My dad was sober for 10 years before his mom convinced him to have just one drink at new years. F**k that. It wasn’t just one drink.

Do you think the user was justified in throwing away the whiskey given his past struggles with alcohol, or was his reaction too extreme? How would you handle a situation where a family member disrespects your boundaries like this? Share your thoughts below!