AITA for refusing to give my seat to a lady and her child?

A 23-year-old woman is on her subway commute home after a long day at a work event when a lady with her 8-year-old son boards. The mother expects her to give up her seat without asking, despite the boy being old enough to walk.

Feeling triggered by the mother’s attitude, the woman refuses to move, leading to the mother making comments about younger generations being disrespectful. Afterward, she questions whether her refusal was justified. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to give my seat to a lady and her child?’

I (23F) was on my way home from work on the subway, totally exhausted. My company had organized a sports event that I was busy with all day. My commute is pretty long—about 50 minutes. Luckily, I got a seat and was about to doze off when, at the next station, a lady and her young boy (who looked about 8 years old) got on.

The lady was carrying her son, even though he looked perfectly capable of walking on his own. She walked straight toward me and motioned with her head for me to get up. She didn’t even say anything, and it felt like she was just expecting me to move.

The boy wasn’t a toddler—he looked around 8 years old, so I didn’t see why she was carrying him. Something about her face triggered me, so I bluntly said “no.” She seemed surprised and started talking about how someone my age should give up their seat for a mother carrying her child.

She also made a few comments about how the younger generation is disrespectful. The lady herself looked like she was in her late 30s, and again, the boy didn’t seem to need to be carried at all.

A few people gave me dirty looks, and I felt awkward, but I stayed in my seat. However, once I got off and was walking home, I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe I was in the wrong.. AITA?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

AncastaOfTheRiver −  NTA. The woman picked you out of all the other people who were seated. She made a decision on sight that you didn’t need that seat. If there was a reason her child needed it, she should be aware enough that other people might also have hidden disabilities that she doesn’t do that.

She could also use words to say ‘my son has a disability, are you able to give up your seat?’

Beneficial_Park7756 −  Nta. If she politely asked id consider it, however the head motion and the entitlement, she can stand for 10000 years as far as im concerned lol

wheelartist −  Absolutely NTA. It’s clear from the added info that the lady was just trying a ploy to get a seat. Just because you’re young doesn’t mean your needs matter less than those of a fellow regular passenger, also plenty of young people have invisible disabilities or injuries. She and others had no way of knowing if you were one.

The simple fact is the priority seats exist for people who are elderly, disabled or pregnant/wrangling a young child, and people like myself who need one usually ask politely. She chose to target you in a regular seat because you’re young, you had no obligation to return her disrespect with accommodation of her entitlement.

Tamihera −  When I was a kid, I had to stand for adults on public transport since I had “young legs.” And now as an adult with arthritic knees, I’m supposed to stand so kids can sit?

Forward_Giraffe9404 −  NTA…I wouldn’t give up my seat either if someone walked in with the premeditated idea of guilting someone to give up their seat…probably why she was carrying the kid….so she can use him as a prop…

Maximumoverdrive76 −  NTA. Especially since she was basically expecting and demanding you give up your seat. Had she asked nicely it’s one thing perhaps. But not saying anything waving a hand like you’re “the help servant”. No she can F off and the kid can stand just fine.

“A mother carrying her child” would be a pregnant woman. Not a woman carrying an 8 year old. For a pregnant woman or old man/woman I gladly stand or someone that has some disability. Other than that, welcome to equality you don’t matter more than me.

Dry-Crab7998 −  A confrontation like this will always leave you with a feeling of upset. That doesn’t mean that you were wrong. It just means that you dislike confrontation.
Only a person who enjoys drama and gets a kick out of causing unnecessary confrontation would walk away feeling that everything was great about it.

Being an adult sometimes means you have to stand up for yourself and confront a n**ty j**k like this. You did it! Well done. You go girl!

Default_Munchkin −  NTA – First she didn’t ask which f**k off with that. Second, being a mother of any child at any age doesn’t entitle you to my seat. I’ll give my seat to the elderly but being a parent was something you did not something that happened to you.

latents −  A few people gave me dirty looks, and I felt awkward, but I stayed in my seat.  A better use of their time would have been to offer their own seats. Apparently most of them didn’t feel it was necessary to do that. Most of them only decided it was necessary to offer your seat instead. Therefore their opinions can be safely ignored as utterly worthless.

Did the woman have a right to keep her seat, or should she have prioritized helping the mother and child? What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!