Aita for telling my mom she should learn how to keep her legs closed?

A Reddit user shared the story of a heated argument with her mom, stemming from a series of poor relationship choices that affected the entire family. After moving in with her mom’s controlling boyfriend and then being forced to leave, tensions rose, leading the user to lash out with hurtful words. Read the full story below to see how things escalated…

‘ Aita for telling my mom she should learn how to keep her legs closed?’

So I 15f and my mom 37f have never really had a great relationship. We have the same attitude so us together doesn’t really work out. Also she’s always getting herself into t**ic relationships. Which ends up affect me and my sisters 19f and 9f. A few months ago my mom started seeing this guy Fred 45m. At first he seem like a great guy.

Taking my mom out, buying her flowers, chocolates etc. I liked him. He was nice. Two months ago I found a paper on our kitchen counter. I not really sure what they’re called but it was basically stating that my mom was putting in her 30 day notice to leave our apartment. I asked my mom about it and she said that Fred wants us to move in with him and his two kids.

However she was asking me and my younger sister if we were ok with it. I said I didn’t care and my little sister said she didn’t want to. My mom didn’t listen to my little sister. So we ended up moving in with Fred. In the first week we moved in Fred started showing his true colors. Telling my mom what she was allowed and not allowed to do in his house.

For example, no drinking in the house (he used to be an a**oholic), he didn’t want my older sister visiting every day, etc. Which caused a lot of arguments between them. Fast forward to today. Fred went out to run some errands and called my mom. He told her he was buying her a Princess Peaches costume for his friends sons birthday party which is Mario bros theme.

My mom said there was no way in hell she was gonna wear that so to not even bother to buy it. He kept insisting and my mom kept saying no and hung up. He kept calling her and my mom kept ignoring it. He kept calling and my mom picked it up and he was furious. He told her how dared she hang up on him.

My mom said its my phone and I can do what I want and he told her well I bought it. Which caused a huge argument. My sisters gf and sister were there at the time. My mom told them that she has had enough of his b**lshit and she wanted to leave.

So she went to Walmart bought boxes to put out clothes and belongings in, called my aunt and we packed everything and left. We moved in with my sister to their one bedroom apartment. I was so mad at my mom for putting us in this situation.

I was already tired of my sisters gf telling me that’s her house so I had to follow their rules for the millionth time.I told my mom she better find us a place to live asap. She told me I should be grateful we had a roof over our heads and we wouldn’t be in this situation if we had told her we didn’t want to move in with Fred.

I was furious at that point and corrected her by saying if only she knew how to keep her legs closed and thought with ration and not l**t we wouldn’t be in this situation, so to stop blaming me and my sister for it. She slapped me and called me an ungrateful b**ch.

My sister and cousins keeping telling me that I crossed the line for basically calling my mom a whore. But I was tired of her blaming me and my sister for her bad decisions. So aita for telling my mom she should learn how to keep her legs closed?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

[Reddit User] −  So I have relatives like this, always need to be with a man/woman. They can’t handle being on their own, and their children suffer. Could you have said something different? Of course, were you wrong.No, you were not. Your mom has some self reflecting to do, and just because someone is in their thirties doesn’t mean they are a responsible adult. Best of luck to you young lady.

[Reddit User] −  NTA – Facts are facts which is why she lashed out at you. Start thinking now about building assets and money, so it’ll be easier (not easy, just easier) when you become an adult and want to distance yourself.

Tinagxo −  NTA, the truth hurts, she may have slapped you, but you won that fight. Words can be more damaging than anything physical. Just remember to give grace. Even though it’s not an ideal situation remember that you’re safe, your siblings are safe and your mom is safe.

Not everyone who gets into relationships like this are. I’d also find time to hug your mom and thank her for being able to leave and not allowing that man to ruin your lives. Leaving takes courage. Please remember that.

been2thehi4 −  Ehhh, it was an a**hole comment but one she needed to hear because she’s being a terrible mother. She’s one of them moms who needs a man to feel good while being a crappy mom for her vanity. I also had a difficult relationship with my mom.

She was kind of like this but not to the same degree with bringing men around or moving us in with the randoms. She was 16 when she had me and she has three kids with three separate men. I don’t share a father with any of my brothers from her, just like my father has children from multiple women.

I have no full blood siblings because my parents just ….. played loosey goosey with their partners. I remember she and I fighting in a parking lot once when I was a teen. Her berating me for something stupid and being judgmental (I was dating my bf, who is now my husband btw) and I got so mad I threw it in her face that she has three kids with three men her advice isn’t exactly sound nor warranted.

I got my ass beat but you know what, “you made shoddy choices in life so face them and the people it hurt along the way”, is how I feel. Your mom is an a**hole, you aren’t your comment was just crass but warranted given the situation her messy life is putting her kids in.

My mom has always been sort of jealous of me. I mean I have my childhood trauma like her but I turned out in a far better situation than she did. I have only ever been with one man, who I started dating as a sophomore in HS. All my kids share the same dad. We have a stable home life and finances. I’m not parenting alone.

She was always paycheck to paycheck, men using and abusing her, leaving her with a kid etc…. So I feel like she always wanted to punish me more because I didn’t get fucked over in life like her. My best advice is once you are able to move out and live your life the best you can and better than she ever gave you, kid. Sending all my love, my heart hurts for you and your little sister.

FreezingMoon33 −  Nah, you said the right thing. Sometimes parents are dumb and need a wake up call.

Kampfzwerg0 −  So your mom fell for an i**ot. Even though him asking her not to drink when he had an alcohol problem is not so terrible.. She moved in with him way to fast.
She acted like an i**ot and childish instead of talking to him. She blamed it on you and your sister.. And you talked down to her. Yeah, you maybe shouldn’t have talked to her like that, but she sounds like an irresponsible person.. NTA

SpecialProfile2697 −  Your mom needs to realize that no man is worth her children’s mental health.

Cybermagetx −  NTA. Your mother uprooted yall for a guy she barely knew. Thats on her.

[Reddit User] −  You are NOT the a**hole. As a 15 year old child, you do not need to be “grateful” to your mother for having a roof over your head. It is her job and responsibility to provide you shelter. In fact if she didn’t, you likely wouldn’t remain in her custody.

Your mother sounds a LOT like my mother. I (37f) am the oldest of three daughters by three different men, and she had me when she was only a year or two older than your mom had you. She clearly didn’t have the tools to be a mother and she treated me like I should feel like the luckiest girl in the world for having a home, food and clothing.

All basic needs that she is responsible for providing me. She even moved us into the dark damp basement of this guys house that she was seeing for a year just because she was so desperate for a boyfriend. We had to change schools and everything.

She wasn’t a very good mother and while your mother seems to provide you the absolute bare minimum to keep CPS from getting involved (like mine), your situation is nothing to be grateful for. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, sweet girl.

Just know that very soon you’ll be of age to either go away to college or get a full time job and your own apartment and you won’t have to live like this much longer. You have a bright future ahead of you and it doesn’t even have to include your mother if you decide you don’t want it to.. Take care of yourself 😊

ComfortableZebra2412 −  NTA she needs to take the blame for her own mistakes, she moved in way to soon, and it went bad all on her

Do you think the Redditor was justified in speaking out so harshly to her mom, given the difficult circumstances, or did she cross a line with her comment? How would you handle frustration with a parent’s repeated poor decisions? Share your thoughts below!