AITA for giving my wife an ultimatum about baby names?

A Reddit user shares a story about an escalating disagreement with their wife over baby names. The couple had made a pre-marriage agreement that she would name their first boy, and he would name their first girl. Now expecting twins, they decided to stick to the plan.

However, when the user heard the name their wife chose for their son, they immediately disliked it, believing it would lead to bullying. Despite attempts to veto the name, the wife insists on keeping it because of its personal significance to her.

The conflict has reached a point where the wife has hinted she might give birth without the user’s input, leaving them to wonder if things have gone too far. The post concludes by inviting everyone to watch the story below.

‘ AITA for giving my wife an ultimatum about baby names?’

Before my wife and I got married, we made an agreement that she would get to name our first boy, and I would get to name our first girl. We recently discovered that she was pregnant with twins, and after talking about it, we decided to stick to our original plan.

I thought everything would be fine, but ever since I heard the name she chose, we’ve been having problems. The name is bad. It sounds really stupid, and it’s absolutely the kind of name that will get our son bullied. I immediately vetoed it, but my wife said I can’t because that wasn’t our agreement.

I asked why she insisted on this particular name. Apparently it comes from a character she identified with in one of her favorite books when she was growing up. But emotional attachment doesn’t make the name itself any better. I said fine, then I may as well name our daughter Hortensia Beerbong the Third.

It sounds just as dumb. She told me I couldn’t do that, and I just said why not? It’s my choice. That was the agreement. We’ve been at an impasse ever since. Now, obviously, I’m not actually going to name my daughter that, and I’m pretty sure my wife knows that too.

I was just trying to help her see the mistake she was making, but she’s not listening to reason. Recently, she’s started hinting she might just take off around her due date and give birth somewhere without me and my naming input.

I think that’s uncalled for, but I’ve got a week long business trip that I can’t get out of about a month before she’s due, and I’m worried she’ll take the opportunity to disappear until after the twins are here. I’ve told my brother to keep an eye on her while I’m gone, but it’s not like he can watch her 24/7.

I think her name choice is dumb and will cause problems for our son, and she thinks I’m being controlling and overdramatic. Neither of us are willing to back down, but with her hints about skipping town for the birth I’ve been wondering if things have gone too far.. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

Aggravating-Pain9249 −  I think you and your wife have more issues than just naming the children. For her to threaten to take off and have the birth without you, and name the children to spite you, and then you escalating by asking your brother to watch her, is NOT a good indicator for the health of your marriage. For many couples, naming their children is a two yeses is a win, a single no cancels that choice. You both should agree on the names.

pudge-thefish −  Before my wife and I got married, we made an agreement that she would get to name our first boy, and I would get to name our first girl ESH. This is always a dumb mistake. One no 2 two yes is the only way to name a child

Milskidasith −  OK, knowing the name choice is “Neville”, I think you’re worse here, though this is still firmly an ESH situation. “Neville” is a pretty bad name from a character named and characterized as a bit of a joke. But it’s nowhere near “Hortensia beerbong the 3rd”, or even near the realm of “you obviously named your kid after a fictional character”.

In any sane relationship, you’d be able to say “hey I don’t like that name at all” and be done with it, but you made a stupid pact and now both of you are acting very stupid about following through with it instead of like a team. You’re worse here, because you’re escalating it more, but neither of you are responding *well* here.

KingOfTheRavenTower −  ESH. How old are you both? 11 and 12? Because that’s the vibe I’m getting. Who makes a deal like this? I hope Megatron Jacob Edward and Hortensia Beerbong the Third have a good support network outside of the both of you that can actually handle the responsibility of raising a child

Ill_Reddit_Alone −  ESH – You can’t respect her choice in names? She might take off over a name dispute? Your poor children they’re gonna have little kids for parents!

RandomGuy_81 −  Did i miss you sharing the name? How can we judge if we dont know the name. For all we know the name is Harry and you are ridiculous. Yta for telling your brother to keep an eye on her lol sid you kidnap her?. Good luck to her escape 🙏

KronkLaSworda −  ESH. You’re agreement was silly as hell. No one should have a baby-name blank check. I have a “friend” that named his kid Tain (or Tane). “Dude, he’s going to get called Taint once he hits middle/high school.” Guess who became a bulliled, High School dropout that doesn’t speak to his parents.. Anyway, good luck with the twins!

FalconJaeger −  ESH. Neville isn’t a bad name, even though it is heavily assosiated with the Harry Potter franchise. But where you both fucked up is with this agreement who get’s to pick a name, as it led to where you are now.

SnooBunnies7461 −  ESH. Who agrees to have zero input into the name of their child? Do what everyone else in the world does when picking names. Put a list together of names you love, she does the same, and figure it out together.

SIANpaul −  INFO. What was the name?
Also, what do you plan on naming your daughter?

How should disagreements about important decisions like naming a child be handled in a relationship? Could there have been a better way to approach this issue? Feel free to leave your thoughts and suggestions in the comments below.