AITA for saying I’m entitled to food my parents buy?

Navigating family dynamics can be as tricky as balancing on a tightrope—especially when the roles become blurred. In today’s household, a college student finds herself in a peculiar predicament: living with her parents while also taking on unpaid childcare duties for her four‐year–old sister.

Her argument is simple yet striking: if she’s the one keeping her little sibling safe and cared for, she believes it’s only fair that she, too, is fed. This situation sets the stage for a debate that touches on entitlement, responsibility, and fairness within the family.

In an atmosphere where love and obligation intertwine, even small disagreements can turn into a full-blown clash. Our story draws you into a narrative that feels both intimate and relatable—a modern parable about expectations and the unspoken rules of family support.

‘AITA for saying I’m entitled to food my parents buy?’

Let’s take a step back and examine this dynamic from a broader perspective. Family therapist Dr. Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult, reminds us that “true independence is built on the understanding that every family member contributes, and that support is a two-way street.” When one member shoulders responsibilities—be it childcare, cooking, or other household tasks—it’s natural for them to expect reciprocal support. In this case, the argument centers on something as fundamental as food.

In many households, roles can become so fluid that contributions are assumed rather than acknowledged. Small imbalances, however, can lead to simmering resentment. Dr. Lythcott-Haims explains that “when expectations aren’t clearly communicated, what feels like a fair exchange to one person can seem like exploitation to another.” By setting clear expectations early on, families can avoid misunderstandings and help each member feel both valued and respected.

Another key element is communication. It’s not uncommon for conflicts to escalate simply because both sides assume the other understands their unspoken rules. Experts suggest that a quick, honest conversation about each person’s contributions and needs can transform a potentially volatile situation into a constructive dialogue. When family members articulate their needs and listen to one another, they often discover that the issue isn’t about entitlement at all—it’s about a lack of clarity.

Moreover, Dr. Lythcott-Haims stresses that it’s important to revisit family roles as circumstances change. “Roles in a household aren’t set in stone,” she notes. “They evolve as the needs and capacities of everyone change.” This perspective encourages families to periodically reassess who does what and ensure that everyone’s voice is heard. In our story, the college student’s role as both a caregiver and an adult warrants recognition—and perhaps, a little shared responsibility when it comes to daily necessities.

Finally, experts caution against letting resentment build up over time. A small act of kindness, like ensuring everyone has a meal, can have a ripple effect on family harmony. “When each member’s contribution is acknowledged, even the most challenging situations become opportunities for growth,” Dr. Lythcott-Haims concludes.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit community’s responses span the spectrum—from outright support to blunt criticism. One comment applauds the poster for standing her ground, suggesting that her unpaid childcare role justifies her expectations. Another voices concern that, while her feelings are valid, she might be caught in a cycle of dependency that ultimately harms everyone involved. These diverse opinions reflect the broader debate on what is “fair” within a family dynamic.

Family is rarely black and white—especially when roles and responsibilities shift over time. This story challenges us to rethink what fairness means in our homes. Is it unreasonable for someone contributing so much to the household to expect basic needs like food to be met? Or should everyone learn to set aside personal wants for the collective good?

We invite you to share your thoughts and experiences. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? How do you balance personal responsibility with family obligations? Let’s discuss: do you agree that contributions—big or small—should be met with reciprocal support? Share your opinions and join the conversation below.