AITA for ignoring my friend’s phone calls after she invited herself, her spouse, her children, and her friends to my home for an impromptu BBQ without my permission?

After reconnecting following a four-year silence, I thought our renewed friendship would be a welcome source of mutual support. But lately, every call from my friend has come with a hidden agenda—a last-minute invite for her entire family, plus a few extra friends, to turn my quiet home into an impromptu party venue. What started as a supportive gesture to help her through marital issues has morphed into an exercise in managing unwelcome house guests. It’s left me questioning how much I can give without feeling taken advantage of.

Reeling from these unexpected visits, I found myself trapped between wanting to be supportive and needing to maintain my personal space. When my friend suddenly escalated a simple plan into a full-blown gathering with over eight people—including strangers—I knew something had to change. The situation wasn’t just inconvenient; it was a breach of the mutual respect that should define any friendship.

‘AITA for ignoring my friend’s phone calls after she invited herself, her spouse, her children, and her friends to my home for an impromptu BBQ without my permission?’

Setting boundaries is crucial in any relationship—friendship included. As renowned psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud, co-author of Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, explains, “Daring to set boundaries is a way of caring for ourselves and protecting our well-being.” In situations where a friend consistently oversteps by imposing their plans on your space, establishing clear limits isn’t selfish—it’s a necessary step toward a healthier relationship.

Experts emphasize that respect for personal boundaries is the cornerstone of any sustainable relationship. When one party repeatedly disregards your time, space, and comfort, it can erode trust and lead to long-term resentment. By setting and maintaining firm boundaries, you not only protect your personal sanctuary but also encourage healthier, more balanced interactions.

It’s important to remember that a true friend will respect your limits, and if they don’t, it may be time to reconsider the relationship’s dynamics. The advice is simple: “No” is a complete sentence. Over time, small refusals and honest conversations about your needs can pave the way for mutual respect—even if it means stepping back from a friendship that seems more draining than supportive.

Taking action doesn’t mean you’re unsupportive. It means you’re prioritizing your well-being and encouraging your friend to seek healthier ways to address her personal challenges without encroaching on your space. After all, a supportive relationship should uplift both parties, not leave one feeling like a venue for impromptu parties against their will.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Across Reddit, the sentiment was clear: the friend’s behavior was over the line. Commenters noted that inviting unannounced guests into someone’s home is unacceptable and that personal space should be inviolable. Many advised simply saying “no” when plans become too intrusive, with some even suggesting a temporary break from the friendship until respect is re-established. The overarching message was that boundaries are non-negotiable—if a friend doesn’t honor them, the friendship might not be worth maintaining.

Ultimately, it’s not about being unsupportive; it’s about asserting your right to personal space. When friendship turns into an opportunity for uninvited parties, it’s time to reassess and speak up. How do you balance being there for a friend while keeping your own boundaries intact? Have you ever had to draw the line in a relationship? Share your thoughts and experiences, and let’s discuss how to nurture healthy, respectful friendships.