AITAH for cutting off my parents because they plan on leaving almost everything to my disabled brother ?
Family dynamics can be incredibly complicated, especially when lifelong feelings of inequity and favoritism come to a head. Our OP, a 24-year-old woman, shares her deeply personal story of how she cut off her parents after discovering they plan to leave nearly everything to her brother. Although she and her brother were raised equally in childhood, things changed dramatically in adulthood.
While she joined the military, earned her degrees, and built a successful life with her husband, her parents continuously supported her brother—funding his attempts at trade school, covering rent, and offering countless loans. Now, as their parents face declining health and work on their will, they’ve notified her that nearly all their assets will go to her brother, while she is expected to serve as their medical power of attorney and manage their estate.
Feeling deeply resentful over this disparity, the OP declared she was “done” with her parents, demanding that they give her brother everything. When her brother later apologized, she made it clear that her anger wasn’t directed at him but at their parents for the lifelong favoritism. Now she wonders: Am I the asshole for cutting off my parents because they plan on leaving almost everything to my “disabled” brother?
‘AITAH for cutting off my parents because they plan on leaving almost everything to my disabled brother?’
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist renowned for her work on family dynamics, explains, “When parents consistently invest in one child over the other, it can lead to deep emotional wounds that last a lifetime. The sense of inequity and favoritism can be devastating, particularly when one sibling is expected to be self-made while the other receives ongoing support.” (kidshealth.org) In this case,
the OP’s resentment is rooted in decades of perceived injustice: she built her life through hard work and sacrifice, while her brother was repeatedly bailed out. Such unequal treatment can create a rift that feels irreparable, especially when it comes to major life events like the drafting of a will. Dr. Durvasula further notes, “It’s essential for an individual’s mental well-being to establish boundaries when familial favoritism undermines their sense of worth. The decision to cut ties, while painful,
can sometimes be a necessary act of self-preservation.” Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds, “When one partner in a family dynamic feels continually devalued—especially in the context of financial support and parental investment—it’s not unreasonable to disengage. The role of medical power of attorney and estate manager, if imposed as a condition for receiving support, only reinforces that sense of inequality.”
Dr. Johnson emphasizes that while family relationships are ideally built on unconditional love, they must also respect each member’s autonomy and contributions. In this scenario, the OP’s decision to sever ties is not just a reaction to a single incident but a culmination of years of emotional neglect. Both experts suggest that while reconciliation is often encouraged,
when the imbalance is so pronounced, prioritizing one’s own emotional health is entirely justified. The long-term impact on her self-worth and personal identity cannot be understated, and establishing firm boundaries—even if it means cutting off family—is a valid response.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Many redditors empathize with the OP, stating that if your entire life has been marked by favoritism and unequal treatment, you’re justified in drawing a line in the sand. “When one sibling is treated like an ATM and the other is left to fend for herself, you have every right to protect your mental health,” one commenter remarked.
In the end, the OP’s decision to cut off her parents over their blatant favoritism toward her brother is a deeply personal choice born out of years of emotional neglect. While some might argue that parents have the right to distribute their assets as they wish,
the long history of unequal treatment and the expectation that she serve as a caretaker for their estate is a significant burden. Do you believe that when favoritism runs this deep, cutting ties is a justified act of self-preservation, or should family always be maintained regardless of past grievances? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?