AITA for turning off the wifi when my husband camps in the bathroom for extended lengths of time?
Parenting twins is no easy feat, especially when one partner isn’t pulling their weight. One Redditor shared her frustration about her husband, who consistently disappears into the bathroom every time it’s his turn to help with childcare.
OP suspected he was using it as an escape, and after monitoring his habits, she decided to turn off the Wi-Fi to see if his “medical issue” suddenly improved. Now, her husband is furious, and OP wonders—was this a reasonable way to handle the situation, or did she take it too far?
‘AITA for turning off the wifi when my husband camps in the bathroom for extended lengths of time?’
Expert Opinion:
Understanding the Behavior
Avoiding childcare responsibilities through prolonged bathroom breaks is a well-documented phenomenon in parenting dynamics. According to Dr. Darby Saxbe, a psychologist specializing in family relationships, “Escaping into the bathroom or another private space can be a way for overwhelmed parents to reclaim control, but it becomes problematic when it shifts an unequal burden onto the other partner.”
OP’s husband repeatedly disappearing whenever it was his turn suggests a pattern of avoidance rather than a true medical necessity.
Medical vs. Behavioral Concerns
While OP’s husband claims a medication is causing his extended bathroom visits, he refuses to see a doctor despite OP’s encouragement. Dr. Mark Hyman, a leading physician in digestive health, states, “If a medication or health issue is leading to persistent and disruptive digestive problems, seeking medical evaluation is necessary.”
However, in this case, the avoidance behavior of the husband ceases when internet access is removed, it suggests a non-medical root cause. OP’s actions provided a clear test—without Wi-Fi, the problem was suddenly resolved.
What Could Have Been Done Differently?
Rather than resorting to passive-aggressive solutions like cutting Wi-Fi, OP and their husband could have:
- Set structured childcare expectations: Establishing a fair division of responsibilities and creating a schedule could prevent avoidance.
- Had an open conversation: Discussing frustrations honestly instead of using punitive measures might encourage cooperation.
- Addressed the medical claim directly: If OP’s husband insists his bathroom habits are a health issue, requiring a doctor’s visit before further discussion would be reasonable.
Here’s What Reddit Had to Say:
Many Redditors sided with OP, believing that the Wi-Fi shutdown proved the husband was exaggerating his symptoms. Others suggested that OP’s approach, while effective, could have been more communicative and less confrontational.
Most agree that OP’s husband is shirking his responsibilities, and cutting the Wi-Fi successfully revealed the real issue. However, some argue that direct communication would have been a more mature approach than using a tech restriction to force compliance.
What do you think? Was OP justified in taking matters into their own hands, or should they have handled it differently? Share your thoughts below!