AITA for telling my son i’d rather have his ex wife as a daughter than him as my son after he got cut out of the will?
Family loyalty is often tested in the flames of betrayal and regret. A grandmother’s unwavering support for her ex-daughter-in-law and granddaughter collides with her son’s entitlement, culminating in a bitter inheritance dispute. When blood ties fray, does moral duty outweigh familial obligation?
‘ AITA for telling my son i’d rather have his ex wife as a daughter than him as my son after he got cut out of the will?’
Expert Opinions:
Estrangement and Parental Alienation
Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of The Rules of Estrangement, explains: “Children who abandon their own offspring, like Matthew, often rationalize their behavior to avoid guilt. Cutting ties with a parent who holds them accountable is common, but it doesn’t absolve them of moral responsibility.”
Inheritance Disputes and Emotional Blackmail
Estate attorney Liza Hanks, in Forbes, notes: “Disinheriting a child is legally permissible but emotionally fraught. Courts respect testamentary freedom, but families often weaponize guilt. Matthew’s verbal abuse likely solidified his parents’ decision to prioritize Ruth’s well-being over his demands.”
The Impact of Grandparent-Grandchild Bonds
A 2021 study in The Journal of Family Psychology found that strong grandparent-grandchild relationships buffer children from parental rejection. Ruth’s bond with her grandfather provided stability amid Matthew’s neglect, underscoring the grandparents’ role as emotional lifelines.
Moral Obligation vs. Familial Duty
Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner writes in The Dance of Anger: “Setting boundaries with toxic family members isn’t cruelty—it’s self-respect. The grandmother’s refusal to condone Matthew’s misogyny and neglect models integrity for Ruth, breaking cycles of harm.”
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit would overwhelmingly side with the grandmother, praising her for protecting Ruth and Josie. Comments might include: “NTA—Matthew reaped what he sowed,” or “Cutting off a son who disowns his child is justified.” Critics might argue: “Disinheritance is too harsh; family should forgive.” A recurring debate: “Do parents owe unconditional loyalty to biological children, even when they’re morally bankrupt?”
This clash between blood and morality forces us to ask: When a child becomes the architect of their own estrangement, must parents still prioritize them? The grandmother’s fierce defense of Ruth and Josie challenges traditional notions of family loyalty. Was her ultimatum a necessary stand against cruelty, or did it deepen an irreparable rift? Where would you draw the line? Share your thoughts below.