AITA for telling my estranged sister and our parents that she and her kids are not my problem?

A Reddit user recounts a painful history of betrayal after discovering her husband’s affair with her sister, which coincided with her miscarriage. Years later, the sister, now estranged, faced her own devastating loss and sought reconciliation.

Despite pressure from her parents, the user refused to forgive, reiterating her stance that her sister and her children are not her responsibility. Curious about this emotionally charged story? Read the full account below!

‘ AITA for telling my estranged sister and our parents that she and her kids are not my problem?’

7 years ago I was married and expecting a baby when things went horribly wrong. Around 10 weeks into my pregnancy I suffered a miscarriage and then I returned home to find my husband in bed with my sister.

The two of them tried to apologize and convince me that we could all get over it. But I wanted nothing to do with either of them and even less so when I found out she had gotten pregnant.

My divorce was finalized quickly because I wanted nothing from him other than the divorce and was willing to leave the marriage with nothing but the clothes on my back.

Pretty early I realized my parents were hoping I would want to still be part of the baby’s life but I wanted nothing to do with the baby my sister conceived while sleeping with my husband (now ex) as I lay in hospital losing my own pregnancy.

I refused any and all contact with my sister and ex. They married and had two more children after the one she concieved during my marriage to him.

I met my current husband when I had distanced myself from my whole family and he was amazing and his family were great. We got married two years ago and his family are nothing short of the best.

I adore the nieces and nephews I have gained through my marriage to him and we spend a lot of time together.
Around three months ago my sister called me at work (using my work phone) and told me she needed me and could I please come to her. I hung up the phone and continued about my day.

It was several hours later that I got a message from my parents saying I needed to be with my sister. A few days later I got another call and was told my sister had been pregnant, the baby passed away inside of her and she delivered a stillborn all while he was out sleeping with someone else. My parents and sister expected me to rally around her and I didn’t.

Now that some time has passed and she lives with them, I have been inundated with them saying I should meet her kids, be there for them like I am my husband’s nieces and nephews and that I should reconcile with the family.

My sister told me how sorry she was again and that she wanted us to make up. I told the three of them that she and her kids are not my problem and I still want nothing to do with them.

My parents are furious and they say I need to forgive because whatever she did, she is now suffering worse than would ever be deserved and her kids are innocent and deserve an aunt.. AITA?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

EnvironmentalRuin863 −  NTA. Your sister fucked around, and now she’s finding out.
I’m incredibly sorry that either of you had to go through any of that, both the miscarriage/stillbirth and the cheating, but this is karma wrapped in a big f**king bow.

Edited to add: I am not downplaying the horror of miscarriage/stillbirth, nor would I ever wish it upon anyone. It is one of the worst things a human can go through.

My comment was more aimed at the cheating aspect, and the fact that the two situations are so damn similar. Although I will add that I’m wondering what the hell kind of man sees his wife in hospital losing her baby and thinks it’s the perfect time for a h**kup. Adding again: thanks for all the awards and upvotes!! ❤️

miss_misery__ −  Worse than could ever be deserved? I happen to think she got exactly what she deserved, she got exactly what she gave to you. Literally found herself in the exact same predicament, and the fact that she thinks she deserves your sympathy is almost comical.

I honestly think you should cut communication with all 3 of them- your horrid sister and kind of even more so horrid parents. Of course you’re NTA. Don’t question yourself for a minute. Continue to live your best life, without the unnecessary baggage some might refer to as your “family.”

Lady1218 −  NTA. S**ew around and expect to pay the consequences. Honestly I’m shocked that you have not just completely cut your whole family out.

As someone who has suffered 7 losses, I could never imagine dealing with a loss only to find out my husband is sleeping around and even worse with my sister. And now you are expected to forgive and what forget? Hell nah.
Cut the ties and say good bye. Embrace the healthy relationships you have with your husband’s family.

Competitive_Chef_188 −  For the sake of your mental health, please cut these toxic people off…I suspect their motives are not pure in nature and likely want to use you. NTA.

Ambitious_Amoeba1992 −  NTA!!!! The AH is the sister who gets pregnant by your husband, and then decides it might be a “good idea” to marry a guy who thinks it’s OK to cheat when you are married. She made her own mess. It’s totally your decision if you want her back in your life, and if you choose to ghost her, that is VALID.

Prize_Fox_9163 −  her kids are innocent and deserve an aunt. Aka, the wicked sister needs a free babysitter. NTA. Ditch them and cut off any contact. ETA thanks for the upvotes and the award

Realistic-Airport775 −  NTA. What do they need you for?
Because to me that suggests that they want something from you and it isn’t emotional support.

I would bet it is because she has no money and it is christmas coming up and you treat your nieces and nephews so well that they want a piece of that. People who are entitled behave this way, insisting that you must do this or should do that and that the children deserve this or that.

Life isn’t fair and no one has the right to tell you who to forgive and be in contact with. It isn’t a matter of being good or bad, it is what your boundaries are and they don’t like that you have boundaries, well tough.

__rynn −  NTA. I have no sympathy for people like that. She got what she deserved. I say you go NC with them for good.

[Reddit User] −  It’s a real shame what’s happened to your sister, and you. And I empathise with her, because losing a child is devastating no matter what.

But you’re NTA. You have been through a lot too, and you’ve been able to move on and have a family that is good to you. You don’t owe forgiveness to anyone. You’ve been deeply hurt by 2 people that were supposed to love you.

It’s your choice who you keep in your life. It sounds like sister is hoping that you will feel sorry for her enough that you’ll seal the rift between you and now she probably feels even more guilty because he’s done the same thing to her.
But you don’t have to keep anyone in your life if you don’t want too.

CTurple −  So, her husband (your ex) was sleeping around on HER TOO??

Do you think the user’s decision to keep her boundaries intact is justified, or should forgiveness come into play for the sake of her sister’s children?
How would you handle this kind of familial betrayal and its aftermath? Share your thoughts in the comments below!