AITA For filing a complaint against my doctor after she gave my mom my medical information?

A Reddit user (25F) shared a troubling experience involving her mother and doctor. After suffering a miscarriage, she chose to keep the news private, given her strained relationship with her mother, who tends to overstep boundaries.

Despite her efforts to maintain privacy, the mother found out about the miscarriage by contacting the user’s doctor, who shared the sensitive information.

The mother then posted the news on Facebook, leading to unwanted calls and attention from family.
Furious, the user confronted both her mother and the doctor, ultimately deciding to file a complaint against the doctor for violating her medical privacy.

While her mother defended her actions as a right and minimized the breach, the user feels overwhelmed and betrayed.
To explore the full details of this emotional conflict, read the story below…

‘ AITA For filing a complaint against my doctor after she gave my mom my medical information?’

I want to start by saying that I F25 don’t have the best relationship with my mom. I have an older sister and growing up my mom always tended to control me and tried to override any decisions I make saying that I was young and naive and she always knew better. I cut contact with her for a few months after she tried to get involved in my marriage.

My husband and I been together for 3 years and he has always been telling me to be more gentle with my mom.
I had a miscarriage a few days ago.

It’s devastating and I really thought it’ll get easier but I’m still feeling excruciating pain and frustration. We were happy and excited but all that disappeared suddenly and it was hard for me to take because I thought everything was fine.

I didn’t tell anyone especially since I’m currently dealing with some health issues. I didn’t tell anyone in the family. My husband promised not to tell until I’m ready.

My mom kept asking me questions and brought up my pregnancy constantly and my answers were short. Because I didn’t want her to know since she’d call everybody and let them know.

She’s always like this that’s why I tend to keep things private.
I decided to not visit for a couple of days hoping she’d stop asking questions.

Then I found out on FB that my mom announced my miscarriage on her page and I didn’t know about that I was shocked I freaked out when I started getting calls from family members and I have no idea how many people knew about it.

I was so mad to the point of shaking. Everyone kept berating me for not telling them.
I called my mom and I yelled at her. she defended herself saying that she was just looking for support and that I should’ve told her about it first time she asked what was wrong.

I asked her who told her and she said she had a talk with my doctor but I shouldn’t be mad because she’s my mom and she had the right to know what’s going on. I argued with her about getting involved in my personal life and disregarding my feelings and cutting me off guard like that.

I went to the doctor and I lashed out at her for releasing my private medical information to my mom and causing me to deal with everyone asking why I was hiding my miscarriage from them even though I was just waiting for the right time.

I told my doctor that I was going to file a complaint against her the same day since she didn’t respect my privacy and decided to give my mom information about my medical records.

My mom heard and started berating me saying it wasn’t the doctor’s fault and that she was a friend of hers she knew year’s ago but I didn’t know about it. She said that I went too far and acted like my family were strangers.

She said that she’s my mom and I didn’t need to overreact like that. All I needed was time and space now I have to deal with all this stress and I’m a mess right now.
* My brother texted me a few minutes ago and said he wants to come over and talk to me.

He was the first to call me and berated me and said that I was being hostile towards everyone for no reason. I haven’t replied to his text yet but I don’t want to see anyone right now. I can’t take one more word from them.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

TheEmpressIsIn −  NTA. they violated HIPAA. Report them. Nothing else matters. this is a violation of law, and you are suffering hardship due to it.. (edit: typo) (edit 2: i’m informed you can’t sue so changed to report)

Phantasiexo −  NTA. As a matter of fact, if what you are saying is 100 percent true, your doctor broke HIPAA violation and that is grounds for termination at the very least.

paprika1321 −  NTA. HIPAA is there for a reason report the doctor

Tokugawa −  NTA. Those rules exist and that doctor is supposed to follow them no matter the circumstance.

somissmatched −  NTA. That’s a huge violation of HIPAA (if you’re in the states). That dr broke the law.
Also I’m sorry for your miscarriage. I hope you’re doing okay.

TpremeDaGod −  NTA What the hell is wrong with your doctor.

Familiar-Fig-4786 −  NTA. You should absolutely file a complaint against your doctor for violating your privacy. You already knew that your mother didn’t respect your boundaries, how awful to find out your doctor doesn’t either.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and for the way your mother and doctor responded to it. Best of luck with any future pregnancies, if that’s what you decide is right for you.

Sl1ppin −  NTA – What the doctor did breaks HIPAA laws. (If you live in the US) Doing something like this is a very serous offense and could result in loss of their license.
You have every right to be upset about this. I’m very sorry for what you and your husband are going through.

superwalrus80 −  NTA. File a complaint.
Condolences for your loss. Wife and I have been through similar circumstances. Hardest thing we’ve ever had to deal with.

gvacceber −  Yea I don’t care that she is your mom’s “friend” that doesn’t give her the right to ignore laws that prevent this kind of thing from happening.

NTA but the doctor and your mom are huge assholes. I hope you are given the space and time to grieve however YOU see fit.

Do you think the user was justified in filing a complaint against her doctor for breaching her privacy, or was the situation complicated by her mother’s relationship with the doctor?
How would you handle a breach of trust from both a parent and a medical professional? Share your thoughts below!