[UPDATE]: [23M] my girlfriend [25F] is obsessed with psychedelics and her spiritual journey

A Redditor shared an update on their situation with their girlfriend, who has become deeply obsessed with psychedelics and her spiritual journey. In an attempt to understand her better, the Redditor tried psychedelics for the first time with her, but their experience didn’t align with her spiritual expectations.

Afterward, they realized that their girlfriend was using psychedelics as a way to cope with trauma and personal issues, refusing therapy in favor of what she deemed a more “fun” and insightful method. Despite this, the Redditor concluded that their life paths no longer align.

They decided to end the relationship, but their girlfriend reacted with intense emotion, even suggesting that stronger substances like DMT might “convert” him. The Redditor now feels firmly that the relationship is over. Read the original story below…

‘ [UPDATE]: [23M] my girlfriend [25F] is obsessed with psychedelics and her spiritual journey’

This OP: [23M] my girlfriend [25F] is obsessed with psychedelics and her spiritual journey

It’s been a few days since my post and since the post got a lot of traction I decided to post an update. In the end, I made the decision to try psychedelics in order to try and understand my girlfriend’s point of view better as I truly love her. I and my GF bought some magic shrooms from a trusted common friend and did it together in my apartment as I felt the safest there. We both consumed 3.5g each (total of 7g).

The trip was a blast (I figured as much) and we laughed, were intimate and had an overall great experience. It was unlike any other substance I’ve tried before but then again I’m the kind of guy who rarely consumes drugs or alcohol. After the trip, I felt my GF was very focused on how my experience was and I could see her face brightened up with excitement as she asked me about the trip afterward.

She probably wanted me to feel like this was some sort of spiritual thing just like she does. But in the end, I felt like this was just like any other d**g in the sense that it’s a d**g that manipulates a part of your body/mind. I could see she felt disappointed that I didn’t find this trip as spiritual and insightful as she does.

I also realized why my GF likes doing psychedelics and I also sensed during the trip that she was trying to deal with a lot of personal issues, I don’t have to go into detail but it was regarding trauma, social anxiety and amongst other issues. I tried talking to her about therapy instead but she strongly refused, she says it’s a waste of money and time and this way is better and more “fun”.

We’ve talked for hours and hours and I came to the conclusion that she won’t be stopping this “self-medication” and she has also planned for an out of country trip to take “stronger” psychedelics with a shaman in the future. I realized that our pathways in life don’t align anymore and that her mindset isn’t that of someone I fell in love with.

I fell in love with this smart, outgoing girl that loved video games and animals but now she’s more into spirituality and the afterlife than the present and science. I knew breaking up would be difficult for both of us so I tried doing it in a sensible and calm way but she wasn’t as understanding as I thought, she started by crying and then rage ensued.

Currently, I’ve been avoiding her but she has been spamming me trying to get together again, ironically enough she has tried to get me to take DMT as she says that if shrooms didn’t do the trick to “convert” me, DMT certainly will.. I’m done.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

laufbox −  Yeah dude, different journeys for different people. That’s just not yours. Nothing wrong with that.

r0tt3nnn −  Tell her goodbye, mount on your unicorn and fly away.

Tambamwham −  Pooping some shrooms, hitting the blunt and having a fun afternoon every once in a while is one thing… but making this a lifestyle? No thanks. Wish her luck on her “ journey” and find an actual human to commit to.

[Reddit User] −  The thing that always makes me sad is if they’re pushing *you* to join them in their world rather than accepting your decision or making the effort to live in the real world with everyone else, their priority is themselves. I’m sorry you had to make such a difficult decision. It sounds like the right one for you.

SplintersApprentice −  You made the right move, OP. Psychedelics are a blast and great to do sparingly, but they certainly aren’t a solution to deep-seated mental issues. I knew someone who did an obscene amount of acid within a week to cope with bipolar/manic depression and they had a psychotic break that took years to recover from.

Not sure if you’re even looking for advice on this update, but it may be best to send the ex one last message: “I need you to recognize that we have different values and methods to life, and for that reason I’m walking away. Since you haven’t been understanding of my choice to walk away so far, I’m going to block you for a while for my mental space. I truly wish you the best.”

And then block her on all modes of contact. It may seem harsh, but it’s the best way to not have her suck you back into her life. You can always unblock her some time down the line if you ever want to.

[Reddit User] −  I would strongly urge her to get therapy and not just rely on psychedelics to deal with trauma and anxiety. I have c-ptsd myself, have been sober my entire life, except when I tried acid once, and ayahuasca once. I also consider myself spiritual and meditate and such, but the thing with drugs;

you have no control over what will come up or how your subconscious mind will react. You can easily get re-traumatized during a trip, and it can have long lasting effects. If anything, if I were you and felt so strong about the breakup, stick to that, but share this information with her. It sounds like she’s on a path to get very lost.

pleinedecollagene −  I started reading this post thinking you were gonna start tripping regularly to make her happy and keep her. I was pleasantly surprised by the end. I have a lot of respect for you. I fell into a trap of trying drugs my boyfriend was doing and ended up in a bad place. For you to walk away is very admirable to me.

Kebar8 −  I work as a mental health nurse. One of my clients was assaulted by a sharman, please tell your gf/ex gf to please be careful. Good luck op, it really does seem like your making the right decision

CoiIedXBL −  As someone who moderates a psychedelic discord community of over 6.5 thousand members, avidly partakes in psychedelia, is very well educated on all facets of the topic, and advocates the proper and safe use of those compounds, her view of psychedelics is warped.

Just as it is incorrect to associate them with other illegal drugs, addiction, and death; so too is it incorrect to believe they are a miracle cure for everything, always spiritual, etc. Psychedelics are potentially great tools for therapy, and such when used properly, but only when mixed with personal commitment and other forms of therapy.

Her view that therapy is a waste of money is naive, and unfortunately she has substituted proper medicine and treatment for psychedelics. I would never recommend doing this to anyone. Also, something I would never do is advocate that someone must do psychedelics, or that they must surely be changed or converted by them in any way.

To be clear, DMT (NN-DMT is specifically what she will be referring to) is one of the most “powerful” psychedelics in the world. But there are no objective results with such compounds, and frankly someone who views DMT in the way that she does isn’t the greatest candidate for using that substance anyhow.

She is clearly uncomfortable with working out her issues in a sober state of mind, psychedelics forcefully remove those barriers so that’s out of her control. For someone to truly heal you need to put effort in yourself, while sober. You have to pull yourself out of denial and force yourself to accept and confront those issues (Mother is a qualified psychotherapist and works in hypnotherapy).

She clearly isn’t at this stage, and so throwing herself into a DMT breakthrough (this is an abstract concept, but typically refers to taking a sufficient dose to cause an experience where you compeltely leave our reality, it is not the same thing as ego death) is a very immature and unfounded idea. *ALSO* also, I’m a Physics student.

I have absolutely no problem with people taking psychedelics with spiritualism in mind, and many, if not a majority of our communities members partake in this, but the problem comes when others try to force their beliefs onto you.

This completely goes against freedom of consciousness which is essentially the biggest ideal in psychedelic culture, and again goes to show her naivete regarding what she is talking about. Sure she knows a bit more than you regarding this stuff, but to anyone who knows what they are talking about she is worryingly arrogant about psychedelia and how amazing it is.

There are real dangers with psychedelics that mustn’t be glossed over. I applaud how you dealt with the entire situation, your personal experience with psilocybin mushrooms is just as valid as hers. You speak with such a maturity, and I truly wish you the best in future,

if you have any further questions or queries regarding psychedelia or anything your girlfriend may have talked about feel free to dm me or reply, everything from the theoretical, conscious experiential side of things to neuroscience and pharmacokinetics 💛

And also, if you guys are still in contact I’d love to speak with her, simply because I worry for her and would love to discuss some of her ideals and try to find a common ground. Plus I could connect her with many people who actually do identify with her *spiritual journey* mindset, but that could help her to conduct herself in the safest manner and manifest the most positive outcomes. Once again I wish you all the best.

[Reddit User] −  D**g abuse and spirituality are 2 separate things 🙂

Sometimes, trying to understand your partner’s point of view can lead to profound realizations, but what happens when those realizations show that your life paths have diverged? Is it possible to bridge that gap, or is it time to move on? Share your thoughts on how the Redditor handled this situation and what advice you would give.