Am i being a p**ck?

A Redditor found himself in a financial disagreement with his unemployed partner, who started spending £80 a week renting a horse despite only having £130 in benefits. With shared rent and bills, he questioned how she planned to afford it, leading to frustration on her end. While he conceded to her decision for the sake of peace, he wonders if he was wrong to ask for an explanation. Read the original story below…

‘ Am i being a p**ck?’

Basically my SO (26f) is unemployed and has begun spending £80 a week renting a horse. Her total income is about £130 a week in benefits including child maintenance and we obviously have bills to pay for and rent.

I didn’t think it was really an option to spend that much money so she could see a horse from time to time but she feels it’s completely justified. She’s quick to criticise my choice to go out for some drinks maybe once every month or two and I do work full time.

For the sake of peace I’ve told her I’m happy with her decision as long as she can continue contributing towards rent (£35 a week for her) but she’s really pissed off that I insisted she explain how she’s going to be able to afford it. What do you think, was I an a**hole to question her choice?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

americanmel −  Not a p**ck, question was totally justified. She sounds immature.

alwaysalone67 −  No you aren’t. Bills get paid before fun things. End of discussion.

dbs1146 −  I have a buddy that is a veterinarian. He says that horses, with their crazy expenses, have caused more marital problems than most anything. He has seen people living in dumps and spending thousands on horses.

Jali-Dan −  Thank you for your opinions I feel a lot better about it now. Hopefully we can sort something out or at least wait until she has a job again

RetireNickSaban −  Unless you’re spending 320-640 when you go out drinking with your friends every month or two, these are not equal comparisons.

ory1994 −  What’s the purpose of seeing that horse?

perhapsnew −  £80 a week renting a horse. Why she is not spending all these money on her child?. She is being a p**ck, not you.

YouKnowYourCrazy −  I am a horse person. I have loved them my whole life (in my 50s now) At this point in my life, I do own one, and freely admit I spend a ridiculous amount of money on him. But, I’m single, own my own home, I make a lot of money, and it’s how I choose to spend my money. Would I expect a partner to understand? Nope. Would I expect a partner to support me and the habit? Definitely not.

There are times in my life when I was not making as much money, and could not afford to have a horse. I kept working with horses, though; but I knew better than to try to own one. I would work off my riding lessons through barn work. I took care of other people’s horses to get my fix. Lots of people need help keeping them exercised. Lots of people appreciate getting some help without expecting to pay for it.

There are ways to do it that don’t cost money. I didn’t own until I knew I could afford it. In my 50s! You have to be responsible. You can’t always have everything you want at the point you want it. She could be working. She could be working at a barn, FFS, and be making some money rather than spending it. So no, you are not being an a**hole. ESPECIALLY if she has a kid.

TriggyTrolls −  this is hilarious, on benifits, rents a horse.

sunflower1940 −  She’s the a**hole and I’m not sure you should stay with someone this idiotic.

Financial priorities can make or break a relationship. Is he being reasonable, or should personal happiness sometimes outweigh strict budgeting? What do you think? Share your thoughts.