Update: Today I (18M) found out my best friend (18F) knows i’m in love with her

A Reddit user decided to confront his best friend after she publicly revealed that she knew he was in love with her. However, her response was unexpected—she admitted she only said it out of curiosity, brushing off his discomfort with a casual “sorry.” This realization left him hurt and disillusioned, making him reconsider their friendship entirely. Read the original story below…

‘ Update: Today I (18M) found out my best friend (18F) knows i’m in love with her’

This OP: Today I (18M) found out my best friend (18F) knows i’m in love with her

So today at school I decided to talk to her and see what made her do what she did. And I must say i was sure surprised when she said it was just something that other people have told her and she was curious if it was true. So naturally I asked her why and she literally told me “just because”.

So then I asked her if she was aware of how uncomfortable that made me feel and how it hurt my feelings to which she just said “sorry”. After that I really just lost it and went home to sleep. It really didn’t go as i planned or wanted it to go, but i did learn some things if nothing else.

My until recently “best friend” isn’t really the best nor even a good friend. How blinded could i have been? Anyway, her behavior answered some of my questions without even having to ask them and i’m pretty sure I just wanna stay away if I can and distance myself now. And yeah that makes me mostly angry than anything else but I can only hope these emotions will go away slowly. I guess those damn romcoms are a lie after all :).

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Behrenberg −  Life never works out how you imagine. However, good on you for finding out now about her. Now you can move on and find the person you that will love you as much.

jAhHboNe −  Go eat some cheese. It’ll help.

[Reddit User] −  It doesn’t sound like she did anything wrong for you to say she isn’t a good friend. I think that’s just your pain talking. From her perspective, having different people tell her that her best friend secretly loves her puts her in an awkward situation.

She may wonder if your friendship is only there because you want her, not that she’s an actual friend to you. Your reaction may also giver her answers to questions she had about you. It’s an unfortunate situation that nobody’s fault, you can’t help how you feel. Just don’t do anything to ruin a friendship you may think fondly about once you’re over the pain.

ISwearImNotSalty −  If nothing else, just know that you were brave enough to put yourself out there and have a really hard conversation. Those communication skills will come in handy because one day you’re gonna find a girl who loves you back and she will really appreciate that.

What your friend did was for selfish reasons and she handled it poorly. But maybe she needs some time before she’s mature enough and had some space before she could really talk about it. If not, you’ll find better friends.

bigcoolbody −  A lot of us have probably been there. The love you had was probably more of an infatuation until it came to light. Once you break that wall down you can typically tell pretty quick if you’re actually compatible or not, and in your case it might be a bullet dodged. Look on the bright side though, your vision on it is clearer and someone else that’s into you and is a much better person may be right in front of you.

[Reddit User] −  It really didn’t go as i planned or wanted it to go. Did you expect her to leave her boyfriend of *2 years* for you or??

Race-Carr −  Okay, I’m curious what should she of done? Because I’m in a similar situation but on the opposite side. I know that a friend of mine is into me and I don’t feel the same way. He is super introverted/sensitive so I don’t want to hurt him, however I don’t want to be in this situation.

It would be easier if he was more direct so I could reject him clearly but I don’t see that happening. So what could I do? Just go up to him and tell him I know he likes me but I don’t like him, according to this thats the wrong move. What would you of preferred her to do instead?

iamfromouterspace −  Question: what made her a bad friend? 🧐. I am not seeing it.

MilkyLikeCereal −  Maybe I misread either post, but what exactly did the friend do wrong? You’ve had unrequited feelings for her while she’s been with her boyfriend for two years, so now she’s no longer your friend because she didn’t just d**p him and leave him for you? She might not have dealt with it as sensitively as she could, but you’re not being particularly mature about it either.

wlkgalive −  Honestly man I think it’s pretty pathetic to cling onto some girl that you “love” and to pretend to just be a platonic friend. Your intentions aren’t honest and forthcoming and it’s super disrespectful to any guy the girl will end up dating.

Just think of how you would feel if you had to deal with some guy that your girlfriend swore was “just friends” but you knew without doubt that he was actually in love with her, probably fantasized about her regularly, and would sleep with her and date her given the chance.

You wouldn’t be cool with that guy at all. So why in the world would you be that guy yourself. So I’m sorry if you’re insulted by the fact that I’m calling your behavior pathetic, but that’s what it is and someone needs to tell you.

Sometimes, painful realizations help us see the truth about the people in our lives. Was he right to step away from this friendship? Have you ever experienced a similar betrayal? Share your thoughts below!