Just found out that my [25M] fiancee [25F] has been bullying my best friend of 20+ years [26F].

A Reddit user just discovered that his fiancée, whom he once believed was perfect, has been secretly bullying his lifelong best friend. Despite his best friend’s warnings, he initially distanced himself from her—until she provided undeniable proof of his fiancée’s cruelty. Now, he’s torn between the woman he thought was “the one” and the best friend he deeply cares for. Read the original story below…

‘ Just found out that my [25M] fiancee [25F] has been bullying my best friend of 20+ years [26F].’

I’ve been together with Hollie for three years and I proposed to her last summer, with a date set for springtime next year. She’s an investment banker and the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. We met on a night out. We moved in together after a year in an apartment that her parents are paying for. I thought Hollie was ”the one” from our first date, but now I’m not so sure.

I’m best friends with a girl called Sarah. We’ve known each other since we were little kids (grew up on the same street, parents knew each other, etc). I had a crush on Sarah when we were kids and had feelings for her throughout our teenage years, and she claimed to feel the same, but over the years we both dated different people or had other things going on in our lives.

When I introduced Hollie and Sarah, it was clear that they were two very different people, but whenever I’m around they’ve always been civil to each other. However, Sarah has told me that Hollie is always giving her dirty looks and disagreeing with everything she says just because. I never noticed the former but the latter has happened quite a few times.

However, Sarah confessed to me that whenever the two of them are alone together, Hollie is actively cruel to her. Making comments about her appearance, her background, her family, etc. I did not believe this and actually distanced myself from Sarah to protect my relationship with Hollie (who has been telling me to get rid of Sarah when I told her what Sarah had accused her of.

I’ve not been that close to Sarah lately because of this, however, some of my friends got together at my best friend’s house last night. Sarah was there and I brought Hollie along. For some reason Sarah left early and Hollie was really upset about something. She started crying when we got home but didn’t tell me what was wrong.

Early in the morning when Hollie was asleep I got a whatsapp voice message from Sarah which was 20 minutes long. It was a conversation between Sarah and Hollie which must have been taken yesterday. It started off OK, but Hollie started to speak more unpleasantly for no reason at all. She accused Sarah of ”hanging around like a bad smell” and asked why anyone would choose Sarah over her.

Hollie called Sarah ugly and called her family ”scum” and mocked her job (Sarah is an elderly care assistant). She also told her that she’d make sure I’d want nothing to do with Sarah. At this point Sarah told her that she was recording all of this on her phone and would show it to me. Hollie can be heard sobbing and begging her not to save the recording.

Sarah then said goodbye to her and Hollie can be heard shouting ”You f**king b****!” After listening to this I was not sure what to do so I pretneded everything was normal. I made Hollie breakfast like I always do. She’s doing some shopping with her mom so she left in the morning and will be back late. I’m not sure what to do.

I thought Hollie was everything I’d ever wanted. She was perfect. But now I’m fairly sure that everything Sarah has accused her of is true. The things she said to Sarah on the recording were disgusting and nothing like the nice girl I fell in love with. I haven’t spoke to Sarah yet, because I’m struggling to find the words to apologise for not believing her.

I’m not sure if I can continue my relationship with Hollie. Sarah was my whole world once, and even now I still care deeply for her. To know that my future wife wants – and is actively trying to – get rid of her is frightening.

But at the same time I was so sure that Hollie was who I was meant to be with and I’m not sure I have it in me to break her heart. Should I break up with Hollie or try to salvage something with her, and how to I go about building bridges with Sarah?.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

trippingfingers −  That kind of behavior is sparked by jealousy, insecurity, and fear of abandonment. All of those things can be worked on. However, hidden cruelty is like 7 red flags all by itself, is trust breaking, and will not stop with just the one friend. Eventually it will pull you from all true friends. We are what we do when we think no one is watching,

twelvehatsononegoat −  I couldn’t be with someone who would speak that way to anyone, much less my best friend-insecurity and jealousy is one thing, but deep-seated, mean-spirited cruelty is another.

envisionandme −  Oh so you’re engaged to a monster

newthingso −  The people telling you this is a normal reaction for a jealous and fearful person are full of s**t. Attacking her privately, calling her family scum etc, and then telling you that Sarah is lying about it happening to try to split you two up?

That is a deceitful, possessive person – not someone afraid of losing their partner, but someone who needs to be completely in control of them. You distanced yourself from Sarah and your fiancee STILL attacks her? Abnormal and dangerous.

VideoFork −  Update update. Remindme! 5 days

DankConspiracyNut −  I know this sounds way too common for this sub, but I’d say to break up with Hollie and let Sarah know that you are genuinely and deeply sorry for all she had to go through.

[Reddit User] −  OP is dating the hottest girl he could ever date. Not only is she hot, but she’s a successful investment banker and her rich parents pay for everything.
But a good story takes a dilemma, and OP has a d**zy. He also has a good female friend who he’s always had a crush on, and she a crush on him, yet somehow they’ve never dated.

Plus his friends heart is pure, she takes care of old folks, while ms. Super Hotty is elitist, and snobby. In the big reveal, OP learns how mean and cruel his fiancée is, and must choose material things (beauty and wealth) or love. It’s literally the greatest dilemma we could write.

The richest, most beautiful girl he could get, yet she’s emotionally flawed (or there would be no dilemma), so he must give up everything for true love. Five stars! I can’t wait until the movie, I’m thinking Mathew Mconaughey for OP, Anne Hathaway for the friend, and Margot Robbie as the fiancé.

My only criticism is big reveal doesn’t ring true. Fiancé would never give up like that, she’d be doing heavy damage control as soon as she left the party with him. But minor nit really, fantastic bit of creative writing.

trippingfingers −  Don’t walk, run.

AgitatedCustard −  You’re engaged to a sadistic, jealous s**iopath. She’s been deceiving you and being f**king abusive to your best friend. I highly doubt this is the only thing she’s been deceiving you on, if someone is capable of this level of cruelty you really can’t tell what the limit to their behavior is.

You need to break up with her, and go no contact. The only other option is losing your best friend so you can live a lie with someone who is not at all the person they have lead you to believe they are.

anxious_apostate −  It sounds like you’ve just discovered that you’re engaged to two women: the one she is when you’re in the room, and the other, nastier one. There’s not a simple answer here.

I’d say try to have some honest communication with Hollie, but is she capable of that? Maybe couples therapy? Do you want to invest more time and money in trying to save this relationship? I really think you’re going to need a couple of days to digest it all and decide what you really want.

Is this kind of cruelty a dealbreaker in a relationship? Should he try to fix things with his fiancée, or is this a sign to walk away? And how should he mend things with his best friend? Share your thoughts below!