AITA for moving out and taking EVERYTHING?

A Reddit user shared a difficult situation where, after years of living with a close friend who became increasingly rude and neglectful towards them, they decided to move out. In the process, they took everything they owned, including furniture and their cat, leaving their friend and his girlfriend upset and calling them an “asshole.”

The situation was further complicated by the fact that their families are now at odds. Read the full story below to find out if the user was in the wrong for leaving under these circumstances.

‘ AITA for moving out and taking EVERYTHING?’

I (30f) lived with a longtime friend (30m). We lived together for 6 years and known each other for 20 years (close families) He was very accepting that I came with a cat, I paid for everything and legally owned her.

He adored her though and would spend hours cuddling her. I owned everything, all the furniture and the white goods because I had lived out of home before but he had not. He got a GF at the 3.5 year mark and she practically moved in immediately.

I still paid half the rent though. She was always very rude to me and clearly didn’t want me alone with my friend. There was only one lounge, attached to the kitchen, so he and I would previously watch TV together or just be in the same room while another cooked, worked etc. When she moved in that ‘had to stop’ because I was interfering with their couple time.

Her attitude towards me got worse over time and my friend started treating me badly. They would leave s** toys all over the place, watch movies late and loud when my bedroom was right there, glare at me if I cooked during their couple time even though they hogged the TV between 4-9pm. I got a bf and started spending a lot of time with him.

After this things got worse. My friend began locking my cat in small cages and putting her the shower. He also began talking differently to me and leave the kitchen in a absolute mess (mould) to make it difficult for me to cook.

I found used condoms in the lounge. It then got to the stage where we wouldn’t talk but all the tormenting was still going on.
I decided to leave and started looking for somewhere else.

The lease was up in 4 months but we had not discussed what we wanted to do. I found out through his sister (and a close friend of mine) that they had been saving up this whole time to move out and would be moving in a few weeks’.

This was news to me. I couldn’t afford the rent by myself. I found a place before they did, spoke to the estate agent and advised them of the situation – turns out he had not been paying his full share of the rent and she was not listed as living there. The agent did not hold me accountable for any of it. I paid 4 weeks’ leave before I left.

I didn’t tell them when I was leaving and on a day when they were not home my friends helped me pack up and leave. The house was cleaned spotless. I also took all of my furniture, whitegoods and kitchenware – so basically everything but his room! I took my cat.

After I left I received hundreds of missed calls and messages from them abusing me for not notifying them and taking everything and MY cat. Most of his family also messaged me telling me what an AH I am. My parents knew what I was doing, supported me but have also called me an AH because our families are still not exactly on speaking terms.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Adigitalhedgehog −  NTA, Let me get this straight, your ‘friend’ was harassing you, abusing your cat and planned to up and leave you with a massive bill for his rent and his unpaid rent and people are telling you that you’re the a**hole for getting out of there and leaving him with all of the problems of his own making?

He and his girlfriend have made their bed, now it is time for them to lie in it. It also sounds like your parents are supporting you because they know you’re in the right, but calling you the a**hole because his family are taking out their issues on them.

They need to deal with the family instead of telling you you’re the a**hole because they have to deal with the other family’s BS. Also, you could probably post this in one of the revenge subreddits, probably prorevenge.

foibleShmoible −  NTA.They were nightmares, and it sounds like he got to the point of mistreating your cat, so why the hell should he complain that you took *your* cat with you?

ThrowAwayDoISuck −  UPDATE – Woah did not expect this much pf a response. Thanks for the support peeps. I feel like I should address things. 1. So I can comply with cat tax, what is it?

2. Was confined to a character limit so left out that I had tried to communicate the issues to my friend but he just refused to hear it. He would say that I was imagining it or being too critical of the GF. By the end he would stare at me before just walking away.

3. The reason I made the post was because of how close our families are (were). I’m talking bbqs every Sunday in addition to other catch ups and holidays. That’s how family members had my number/social media.

4. There was no issue with the landlord. In Aus we communicate through Agents and they were fine. I paid my rent direct to the agent by bank transfer so they could see that he was 2 months behind meaning as a collective we were 1 month in arrears. We were about to receive a formal warning.

5. He is actually a triplet and his siblings (sister and brother) still support me on this move. It’s the parents, his older cousins, aunts etc that are abusing me. The four of us started out living together but the other two siblings moved out before the 2 and 3 year mark respectively.

The sister is the one that found out the friend and his GF were going to leave. They both helped me move out and encouraged me not to tell him. They no longer talk to him over this – again, feel bad!

6. My parents fully supported me when I told my reasons but I don’t think they thought his parents would react the way they did. Everytime my parents reach out his folks ask when I will apologise.
7. This happened 6 months ago. I live with my partner very happily and my kitty adores him!

8. I didn’t intend on being petty or an AH. I left without notice because he has was very temperamental at the end and I was actually fearful of losing my stuff/cat whether due to theft or damage.
9. I think the white goods question has been answered but to confirm it was fridge, microwave, washer and dryer.

MissBitch25 −  NTA. You took your things. It’s not your fault he wasn’t adult enough to get his own furniture. Also, you just screwed them over before they could s**ew you over and, frankly, it sounds like they deserved it. I mean s** toys and condoms in common spaces? F**king gross

Spare_Hornet −  NTA.Honestly, they were basically asking for it. If it wasn’t for the part where they’d been discussing moving out without telling you, I’d say E S H because you didn’t talk to them prior to such a big move. Yet, because of their attitude and them discussing moving plans behind your back, I’d say they got what they deserved.

NotaRealWitch −  NTA. This guy is an animal abuser, you owe him nothing. *”My friend began locking my cat in small cages and putting her the shower.”*

[Reddit User] −NTA.Your stuff is your stuff.You took everything you bought, and thats OK.Good thing you brought the kitty too

perhapsnew−NTA.Block them and forget about them.I’d do the same the moment they started to abuse my cat.It’s unforgivable

auditail −  NTA.I did the same thing to similarly terrible roommates. The only difference is that I told them the night before, and only decided to take Absolutely Everything when they continued to be aholes as I was moving out.

I had been planning on leaving stuff I didn’t need, but I just tossed it rather than let them have it. I also took a piece of the puzzle they were working on.

TheDarkIsMyLight −  NTA. You did good to pay your share 4 weeks in advance considering he hadn’t been paying his full half. Also, Be glad that you got away from those slobs who don’t know how to throw their condoms in the garbage.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in leaving without notice and taking everything they owned, including their cat, or should they have handled the situation differently?

How would you approach living with someone who becomes increasingly disrespectful? Share your thoughts and join the conversation below!