Would I be the a**hole if I told my therapist to stop eating during our sessions?
A person sought advice on whether they’d be wrong to ask their therapist to stop eating messy and distracting foods, like a seafood boil, during in-person therapy sessions. While the therapist is usually professional and helpful, this incident—featuring strong smells and messy eating—made the session feel uncomfortable and out of place.
The person is hesitant due to fear of confrontation but feels the issue impacts their focus in therapy. read the original story below…
‘ Would I be the a**hole if I told my therapist to stop eating during our sessions?’
I’ve been seeing a therapist and she is lovely, but the other day she did something that really puzzled me. Usually she would have a cookie or tea during our session, but that day she ate a seafood boil.
If you’re not familiar with a seafood boil it’s a type of dish where seafood (e.g., crab, shrimp, crawfish) are mixed within a thick highly spiced sauce in a plastic bag. I like seafood boils, but I found the smell and cracking of shellfish to be extremely distracting during therapy.
I would like to continue therapy with her as she is really helpful, but I’m scared of confrontation. Would I be the a**hole if I told her to stop eating messy food during our sessions?
Edit for clarification: thank you everybody for your input! I will be sure to ask her not to do this again in the future. I am seeing her for depression. This was an in person session. I was really distracted because of the strong smell and because her hands were really messy.
I just felt extremely out of place and thought it was bizarre that she was cracking crab legs and eating corn on the cob (a common item in seafood boils) while discussing my progress and thoughts.
See what others had to share with OP:
Worldatmyfingertipss − NTA. Why the hell is she eating during a session in the first place? Taking a sip of water is one thing but a f**king seafood boil?!
SilverRole3589 − That’s like a scene from Seinfeld.
No-Insurance8288 − NTA. i dealt with a similar problem once. i was in therapy, and the b**ch started eating a bag of kfc hot wings. i was there because i had an EATING DISORDER. i made a complaint. idk if she lost her job, but i never saw her again.
uSOfineUblowMYbrains − Eating anything other then maybe a small bowl candy, is super weird. She MUST have time in the day between sessions to take a break and eat. But a MF SEAFOOD BOIL?! it’s like the forbidden foods of workplaces. All she needed was egg salad and she’d be in her final form
Limp-Star2137 − NTA. Grad Student in a mental health counseling program here. We just had a 3rd year who failed her practicum because she wouldn’t stop eating during sessions.
Super weird. She was put on remediation plan and had to do another prac elsewhere. It’s rude. Your therapist needs to schedule her lunch or take it when her work designates.
Lucky-Effective-1564 − NTA. This is highly unprofessional. A cup of tea of glass of water is ok, but this is totally wrong. And I’m sure she wasn’t listening to you either. What if her client was allergic to seafood?
Emergency_Mind1756 − NTA but this is so funny 💀 I can’t imagine trauma dumping on somebody slurping crab meat
Gold-Fish-6634 − I’m a therapist and recovering binge eater and I NEVER have eaten more than a couple chips or some dried fruit in session. That’s so out of line. Tell her it was distracting and you’d be happy to schedule 30. Min later if it interferes with her lunch. You deserve her undivided attention.
Meinallmyglory − A whole seafood boil during therapy is diabolical
Pink-pajama − What the actual f**k 😂 what a bizarre thing that was to witness im sure. That was completely inappropriate and unprofesional. Youd think a therapist would know better. NTA
Advocating for a conducive therapy environment isn’t wrong, especially when distractions hinder progress. Do you think it’s fair to bring this up with the therapist? Share your perspective below!