Wife had been flirting with her coworker. She said she would stop but it just happened again… is there any future in this relationship?

A Reddit user shared his distress after discovering that his wife had been flirting with a coworker, despite previously promising to end all contact. The initial discovery involved explicit messages hinting at a physical relationship, which his wife denied. After confronting her again over new messages, she insisted their communication was now innocent and blamed his lack of forgiveness for her continued contact.

Feeling torn between his love for her and his growing mistrust, the user wonders whether there’s any future in their marriage or if it’s time to move on. To dive deeper into the story and see how others have responded, read the full account below.

‘ Wife had been flirting with her coworker. She said she would stop but it just happened again… is there any future in this relationship?’

My wife and I have been married for slightly more than three years now. Last Christmas, I found she had been having a long conversation with a coworker of hers, in which they talked about having had s** multiple times and that they couldn’t wait for the next one. The guy said he was going to book a hotel near their office right after Christmas.

In this conversation, when he said he was looking forward to seeing my wife, she would reply with things like “I’m looking forward to much more than just seeing you”, etc. You get the idea. Overly flirty and s**ual. When I confronted my wife, she denied the conversation existed. After deleting it, she showed me her phone to prove it didn’t exist. But I had taken a few pictures.

She then said it was all virtual and that they never did anything physical. To prove she was right, she messaged her coworker (in front of me) asking if he had booked the hotel, he replied “not yet”. She then asked if he was really expecting them to meet, to which he replied negatively. She promised they would never talk again and I agreed,

simply because I love her a lot and wanted to trust her, but in my mind I wasn’t completely sure she had been honest. For a few weeks, I must admit I checked her phones a few too many times, so she changed her password, which I was fine with because I was probably being too paranoid.

This week, I picked her phone up because I needed a code that had been sent to her phone number (I didn’t even need to unlock the screen to get it). To my surprise, under the message with the code there were other messages from the same guy. One of them was an audio, the second one was a shirtless photo of himself in front of a mirror,

and the third one said “sweaty” and a few emojis with the tongue. I confronted her since she had promised they wouldn’t talk ever again and she said he just wanted to show her he’s going to the gym to show progress. But that the rest of the times they talk it’s just about work, and that this is just a coincidence.

I asked her to show me the rest of their messages but she said she had mistakenly deleted their conversation history. My wife says she’s going to change this time and that I never really forgave her and that’s why she kept talking to the guy. She says this time she’s really going to stop but I have a hard time believing it.

Or even if she does stop, I fear when things don’t go so well between us she’ll do it again. I really love her but can’t keep living like this. Is there any situation in which this can work? What would you do?

See what others had to share with OP:

endlesswar1 −  Dude, you are being blind

theazzazzo −  Flirty? They’ve clearly been nailing each other. Tell her to….and feel free to paraphrase…”f**k right off”

pradagrrrl −  You’ve been married three years and you don’t mention kids – so I’m assuming you don’t have any. Consider yourself lucky, dude. 1. She’s cheating on you. A lot of people cheat, most don’t get caught. Consider yourself lucky, again, that you don’t have to take her word for it because the evidence you found is clear-cut. She may eventually admit, she may not.

No matter, you have your answer. 2. Get a lawyer. You know your marriage is over and you can never trust her again, right? 3. Book an appointment with a therapist. A video-chat appointment is better than none at all and even if you have never had therapy before, you would be surprised by how settled you can feel after opening up to someone about how badly you have been hurt.

And they will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel, and in your case it’s a life without someone who is pretending to love you while deceiving you to serve their own purposes. (What are they? The comfort, love and stability that you provide at home while getting it dirty, hot and cheap on the side. Again, sorry dude.)

JoshStrifeHayes −  I’ve taken the liberty of rewriting your post: My wife, who has previously slept with a coworker multiple times, has been texting that same coworker about having some more s**. I confronted her about this and she said it was all virtual and nothing happened.

Then she continues to message the same coworker and have more s**, i discover topless photos of that coworker on my wifes phone. My wife appologises and again tells me nothing is happening. Do you think my wife is cheating on me?

aradthrowawayacct −  My wife says she’s going to change this time and that I never really forgave her and that’s why she kept talking to the guy. her blaming you for her choosing to continue to cheat on you is a big red flag you shouldn’t ignore.

piyump −  Get out pls. For your own sake, leave. She has broken your trust more than once now. I was in the same situation, it does not end well.

lolzveryfunny −  You are being naive to think more isn’t going on. Bet anything they have a code word to signal you reading the text. This relationship has long been over. Your wife is super shady. Sorry you are going through this.

dreaminrewind −  RUN.. SAVE YOURSELF. Sweetie. Listen. Your gut is telling you the truth. Your wife isn’t. Get out now before it gets any harder to escape. You aren’t in a marriage, that isn’t a loving relationship. You are caught in a trap, and you are slowly bleeding out. The only future there for you is misery. You deserve so much better.

Someone else posted that you need to get a lawyer. Yes. Protect yourself from her. Go to therapy, because more damage has been done than you realize. Don’t let her take any more of your life from you. Please.

SEVERALX −  Okay so first things first do you have any kids? If not then there is really no preparation needed and you really should leave. Your wife is lying to you for sure. I would venture to say that they have hooked up and had s**. But here is the thing. Even if she is being honest with you and she has never met this man outside of work.

1st she still presumably sees him at work…. I will let your mind wander. Also she lied to you when confronted about the situation. She was carrying on an emotional affair with this guy and didnt feel any guilt or remorse in fact she went back to doing it again after she told you she wouldn’t let it happen any longer. Now that to me is being very charitable to her.

Ask yourself what you are willing to live and put up with. Do you want to look back 3 to 10 years from now when she serves you with divorce papers because she just isn’t happy and texting some guy isn’t getting it done anymore? I dont know this is how I see it with all of my “wisdom “. I truly wish you luck my friend!

lorcafan −  Is your name Mat? If not, then stop acting like one.