WIBTAH if I got an a**rtion without telling my husband?

A mother of four, overwhelmed by her current living situation and financial struggles, discovers she may be pregnant again due to a failed birth control pill. Already on a waitlist for a hysterectomy, she fears telling her husband about her decision to terminate the pregnancy, knowing his likely reaction. She wonders if she would be wrong to proceed with an abortion without informing him. Read her story below.

‘ WIBTAH if I got an a**rtion without telling my husband?’

I can’t do this again. My baby is only 16 months and the birth control pills my dr gave me failed. My periods 5 days late and I’m panicking. We have no space for another, we live with my dad again and have 3 kids in 1 room and we sleep on the floor in the spare room with the baby in her bed.

I’m on a wait list for a hysterectomy that will change everything for me. I won’t have to schedule my life around my bleeding anymore. But I know if I tell my husband I’m pregnant and want an a**rtion he’ll flip his s**t… WIBTAH if I went and got the pills?

(And before anyone asks, we live with my dad because I got fired for telling my boss about my hysterectomy and how I’ll need 12 weeks to recover, per my Dr’s recommendation and we couldnt afford our place anymore….yay california prices….)

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Instant_Karma_always −  The firing sounds illegal. Go to a non-profit legal aid group and sue. They cannot do that. We don’t live in the 1950’s anymore. Very sorry you’re going through this.

Specific_Anxiety_343 −  NTA. Your firing was flat-out illegal. Talk to a lawyer.

kylexyz001 −  I’d feel like such a failure of a partner if they felt such fear about telling me about a decision regarding their own body

Scarlett-the-01-TJ −  I’m 3000 miles away from California but can you actually be fired for a medical reason? Can you at least,East file for unemployment?

garlicparmbreadthot −  At the end of the day, it is your body and the final decision is your choice. However, it is concerning that you don’t want to share it with your husband. If it’s really that serious then sure go ahead and don’t tell him, but if he ever finds out, he’ll likely resent you for not being honest sooner.

Why are you with a man that you cannot trust? Or that you feel would try to talk you out of your decision? He would flip his s**t for you making the best possible decision for your financial and physical state? That is concerning. He is your life partner. He should be understanding and supportive of your choices.

aeroeagleAC −  Have you taken a test or are you just late?

madisonxbby −  No, you wouldn’t.

1. It just sounds rational because of the circumstances.

2. It is inside you and ABSOLUTELY your choice.

3. If for ANY OTHER reason you don’t want another kid, it’s totally ok.

verybitey −  Why doesn’t your damn husband get a vasectomy?

Jaded-Reporter −  Hey babe, what birth control pills are/were you on? Do you think maybe you’re not pregnant and the pills are affecting your cycle? I was on the Depo Provera shot for 7 years and never had a period once unless I was insanely stressed out, then I would maybe spot a little and then it started up again a few months after I stopped it. Have you taken a pregnancy test or consulted with a doctor?

Historical_Unit_7708 −  If those are your current living situations and your husband wouldn’t agree with you that an a**rtion is the best thing for your current family please divorce him. This isn’t a rational person, but instead is someone who would willingly watch you and your children suffer for his own personal wants and not needs. You don’t need anymore children, and you gotta get yourself out of this current hole for the ones you already have

Would it be wrong for her to prioritize her mental health and family’s current stability by making this decision alone, or should she involve her husband despite his likely reaction? How would you handle this sensitive situation? Share your thoughts below!