WIBTAH for divorcing my wife because she cheated at her bachelorette party?
When trust is shattered, even the happiest of relationships can take a dramatic turn. In this post, a 35‑year‑old man shares how his eight‑year marriage—once marked by stability, love, and shared dreams—was irreversibly changed after discovering his wife cheated on him at her bachelorette party. Despite a seemingly happy life together and the couple’s plans to start a family, the incident left him with a broken trust he feels he can never rebuild.
Now, after seven months of marriage counseling, he’s considering divorce and wonders: Would he be the asshole for ending a long‑term marriage over a one‑time act of infidelity, even though his wife has apologized and promised to make it up to him?
The story touches on deep emotions and the complexities of forgiveness. While he acknowledges that the relationship was once strong, his inability to see past the betrayal has led him to question the future of their life together. This article breaks down the situation, offers expert insights, shares community reactions, and invites you to discuss how you might handle such a crossroads in a marriage.
‘WIBTAH for divorcing my wife because she cheated at her bachelorette party?’
Dr. Samantha Klein, a marriage and family therapist, notes, “Infidelity is one of the most challenging issues in a relationship. Even when a partner apologizes and agrees to counseling, the damage to trust can be long-lasting. It’s not uncommon for one partner to feel that the betrayal is unforgivable, which can lead to a genuine desire to end the marriage.
However, therapy is meant to help couples rebuild trust, so if counseling isn’t effective after months of effort, it may indeed be a sign that the emotional wounds are too deep to heal.”(kidshealth.org)
Similarly, relationship expert Dr. Michael Thompson advises, “When considering divorce, it’s important to weigh not just the act of infidelity but the overall pattern of behavior. If this incident is truly isolated and both partners are committed to repairing the relationship, divorce might be premature. However, if the betrayed partner finds that they cannot move past the incident despite all efforts, it may be healthier for both parties to part ways.”(kidshealth.org)
See what others had to share with OP:
One redditor commented, “Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If you feel like you can’t rebuild that trust, then you have every right to consider divorce. It’s not about the money, the house, or the plans—it’s about whether you feel secure and loved.”
In summary, the OP is grappling with a deeply personal dilemma. After eight years of marriage, the discovery of infidelity at a significant event has irreparably damaged his trust, leading him to consider divorce. While his wife has apologized and seems committed to making amends, he simply cannot see a future where the betrayal doesn’t linger. The community is divided: some believe that forgiveness is possible, while others think that if trust is lost, divorce is a legitimate option.
What do you think? Is it justified to end a marriage solely on the basis of a one‑time act of infidelity if the trust cannot be rebuilt, or should you try harder to forgive and move on? How would you approach rebuilding trust in a relationship that’s been deeply wounded? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?