WIBTAH for breaking up with my gf because of what her dead bf’s dad says to me?

A Reddit user is considering breaking up with his girlfriend due to ongoing disrespect from her late boyfriend’s father. Despite being supportive of her close bond with the deceased boyfriend’s family, the user feels uncomfortable after repeated belittling comments about his masculinity from the father. When he brought it up to his girlfriend, her response only made things worse. Read the full story below.

‘ WIBTAH for breaking up with my gf because of what her dead bf’s dad says to me?’

My gf’s last boyfriend died in a car crash some years ago. My gf told me about this when we became official. Now, she’s still close to her dead bf’s mom and dad, and she wanted to introduce me to them. I thought it’d be awkward, but I decided to go along with it. After all, she mentioned that she considers them just like her own parents.

We’ve visited them a few times, and the dad made comments. One time, the dad talks up how “manly” his son was, how he used to work on cars, how you could always tell he was a real man because his hands were always dirty. He asked me what I did for work, and I work as an accountant. He said “Yeah, I could tell it was something like that, your hands haven’t seen any real work”

It’s been like this every time we visit them. He mentions how great his son is at something, and asks me something, then says how “unmanly” I am. I’ve talked to my gf about it, but she says I’m just being insecure, and I shouldn’t feel threatened by it.

I told her I don’t want to visit them anymore. And we got into a pretty big fight. She said that maybe the dad is right, and I need to be more manly.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

shammy_dammy −  NTA. Why does she want you to have a relationship with these people?

Electrical-Dig8570 −  “Be more assertive!”. “Okay, I’m not going to hang out with the people who insult me anymore.”. “Not like that!”. NTA

ncjr591 −  If your girlfriend is taking the dead BF’s Dad side when he disrespected you then it’s time to walk away. You will never be number 1, the dead guy is. You can make billions of dollars and he will always have her heart. Just move on.

sine_denarios −  NTA – you are saving yourself from a lifetime of miserable visits and unnecessary comparisons.

jam7789 −  NTA. If you get married and have kids, just wait for dead bf’s parents to tell you how much cuter the kids would be if they were their son’s kids instead of yours.

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA. “She says I’m just being insecure. She has to be a fully paid member of the Reddit brigade. Any time a man expresses any standard, boundary, preference or doubt, he is accused of being “insecure.” The minute your GF said you needed to be more manly is the moment you should have kicked her ass to the curb. As you are throwing her out, tell her you decided to “man up.”. Your GF is a huge a**hole.

DuePromotion287 −  You have a girlfriend problem.. She isn’t listening to you.
Personally I’d go the petty route and fight fire with fire with comments back to the dad but it is a bit of the low road.

[Reddit User] −  “Yeah, I don’t work with cars…but neither does your son, he’s dead.” That should be a great icebreaker next time.. NTA.

HasOneHere −  Take their advice, Man Up, d**p this whole toxic group of idiots.

EhhhhhhWhatever −  So… This is about as weird as it gets man. Tell her it’s over unless she decides to get a major reality check. You don’t deserve to have some guy making passive aggressive comments about you because you’re living the life he wishes his son could live.

It’s not fair from her, even, to keep torturing them with the daughter-in-law they’ll never actually have. Any therapist would 100% side with you and if y’all are in any way serious I would recommend you go see one ASAP because that’s the most unhealthy thing of all time. Gotta move on from this one if she doesn’t see the light.

Do you think the Redditor is justified in wanting to end the relationship after being subjected to such disrespect? Should his girlfriend have defended him more, or is he overreacting? How would you handle a partner’s ties to their late loved one’s family? Share your thoughts below!