WIBTA if I told my sister to plan her own gender reveal ?
A woman is grappling with her sister’s request to plan a gender reveal party after a tense interaction at a recent family gathering. During her son’s birthday party, her sister (27) announced her pregnancy, a moment she felt overshadowed the celebration.
She admits to making a snide remark about the sister’s living arrangements with their parents, for which she later apologized. Days later, the sister reached out via email asking her and a sister-in-law to “collaborate” on planning the gender reveal, which felt like an entitled request.
While she’s willing to help with a baby shower, she feels the gender reveal should be the sister’s responsibility. read the original story below…
‘ WIBTA if I told my sister to plan her own gender reveal ?’
A little back story, my sister (27 f) and her husband live at home in my parents basement and have for some time after losing two houses, due to their own poor money managment and have no plans on moving out any time soon.
This past weekend(Sunday), we all gathered for my sons 4th birthday celebration and while he was opening presents my sister announced she was pregnant and I was livid! So when she said, “Mommy and Daddy were so shocked,” I responded, “yeah, I bet they were.
You guys are living in their basement.” I know that was an a-hole thing to say, but there it is. After the party, I sent her a text to say I was sorry that I said anything about their living arrangements and it wasn’t any of my business. She never responded. Which is her right.
I can say anything I want, but I have to deal with the consequences of saying anything. Today (Thursday), she sends me and her sister in law and email asking us to collaborate to plan her a gender reveal, this is the first contact she has attempted to make since the incident.
Now, I have no issue being the gender keeper and making sure the correct color gets to them, HOWEVER, I do not think I should have to plan, execute and pay for HER gender reveal. I have two kids and at no point did I ever think to ask someone else to do the heavy lifting to reveal my kids gender.
I am more than happy to plan her a baby shower, but this should be on her. Plus, the way she went about asking is just so entitled. I don’t feel like she asked me to plan it. She asked me to collaborate. There was no opportunity to say no and if it’s not what she wanted I’m the bad guy again.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
sacredxsecret − NTA. I hate gender reveals. I would not plan one for anyone. The entire concept is creepy.
[Reddit User] − NTA. It’s appropriate for other people to plan the baby shower. If you want a gender reveal you’ve got to do that thing yourself.
AlwaysAnotherSide − Obviously NTA. I would focus on what you are happy to do (the baby shower) and respond something like: “Hey sis, I would love to organise a baby shower for you. I am going to sit out of the planning for a gender reveal.
If you’d like me to throw you a baby shower let me know what month/ date would work well for you, if you have any preference in terms of games or things you specifically want included and we can chat closer to the date about guest list and details. Love you! X”. Shift the conversation.
Masta-Blasta − INFO: Did she explicitly ask you to pay, or is that your presumption?
curiousbelgian − NTA. Gender reveals are a really stupid idea in the first place. But the dynamic between the two of you sounds poisonous. She’s 27, married and bored, of course she is likely to get pregnant.
You didn’t need to make a big drama out of her announcement, and you don’t need to make a big drama out of saying, “Love to help with the baby shower, unfortunately don’t have time to do the same for the gender reveal.” Even though gender reveals are still a stupid idea.
SuperPookypower − Having anything whatsoever to do with a gender reveal makes one an AH.
Upallnightreading − Yea, no way. Gender reveals are usually put on by the couple (as far as I’m aware) and most of the time really dumb. She shouldn’t be asking anyone to plan one for her. Also, it’s weird that your 27 year old sister still refers to your parents as “mommy & daddy”
Edited to add: I love your response to her statement that they were surprised. Maybe that makes me an A H but I don’t think it was uncalled for or particularly offensive, it’s not a secret where they live
gnomem0m − Tell her you’ll plan a shower, but not a genital reveal.
revanite3956 − NTA. Both because you’re not, and because anyone doing a gender reveal *is*.
Wild_Cockroach_2544 − I’d just not respond. Isn’t that the trend she started?
Would she be wrong to draw boundaries about taking on this task? Should family dynamics play a role in such decisions? what do you think? share your thoughts below!