WIBTA if I returned my parents grad gift to them?

Graduation is supposed to be a celebration of achievement and a stepping stone into the future. For one 22-year-old woman, however, the gift she received from her parents—a $25 Starbucks gift card—left her feeling more like an obligation than a loved one.

Though she never expected an extravagant present (especially since her parents covered tuition while she handled rent and groceries), this token gift cut deep. Not only does she not like coffee or tea, but she’s also been actively boycotting Starbucks for months. Instead of feeling celebrated, the gift made her question whether her parents truly know or care about who she is.

Now, four months later, she’s seriously considering returning the gift card. The thought is that it symbolizes thoughtlessness and detachment—a reminder that her parents simply picked something up out of convenience rather than out of genuine understanding of her tastes. This brings us to the question: AITA for returning my parents’ graduation gift to them?

‘ WIBTA if I returned my parents grad gift to them?’

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, states, “When a gift fails to reflect the recipient’s personality or interests, it can lead to feelings of neglect and misunderstanding. In situations where a child’s preferences are ignored, the gesture can feel more like a token obligation rather than a heartfelt celebration.”

She adds, “This isn’t simply about the financial value of the gift—it’s about the emotional significance. A graduation gift should validate one’s achievements and individuality. When it doesn’t, it can contribute to long-term feelings of being undervalued.”

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman also emphasizes, “Gifts are symbolic. When a gift clearly mismatches the recipient’s known interests, it may indicate a lack of communication or understanding within the family. It’s important for families to engage in open dialogue about expectations, especially during significant life milestones like graduation.”

Both experts agree that while returning the gift may seem like a minor act, it’s actually a powerful statement about personal identity and family connection. The gesture can serve as an opportunity to address deeper issues regarding how loved ones perceive and value each other.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Several redditors expressed support for her decision. One user commented, “If your parents have never taken the time to understand that you don’t like coffee, then returning that gift card is a valid way to say, ‘I deserve something that reflects who I am.’ It’s not about the money—it’s about respect.”

Another group shared personal experiences, with one commenter stating, “I’ve had gifts that felt completely off the mark, and sometimes it’s important to let your family know how much it hurts when they miss the mark. You’re not being ungrateful; you’re simply asking for a bit of understanding.”