WIBTA if I quit my job, sell my share in company and retire to be a ski patroler? I would essentially leave my adult kids (18 and 22) to fend for themselves with no way to pay for college. Ex wife as well.

Imagine standing at a crossroads, the weight of years of sacrifice and responsibility pressing down on your shoulders. For one Reddit user, this moment arrived after enduring a tumultuous marriage to an ex-wife with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Their children, now 18 and 22, had their college savings drained by their mother, leaving them without financial support for higher education.

Faced with this crisis, the father contemplated a life-altering decision: quitting his job, selling his share in the family business, and retiring to become a ski patroller. This choice would mean leaving his adult children to navigate their futures without his financial assistance.

‘WIBTA if I quit my job, sell my share in company and retire to be a ski patroler? I would essentially leave my adult kids (18 and 22) to fend for themselves with no way to pay for college. Ex wife as well.’

Letting go of parental responsibilities can feel like a monumental decision, especially after a divorce that leaves behind so much emotional and financial fallout. This father’s story is one of frustration, exhaustion, and a desire to finally prioritize his own happiness after years of being weighed down by family conflict.

The father’s frustration is understandable, as he has tried to set his children up for success. He went out of his way to arrange college savings accounts, only to have his ex-wife empty them without his children taking action. His attempts to warn them about their mother’s actions were ignored, and now, after fulfilling his legal obligations, he’s questioning whether he should cut ties completely.

From an expert’s perspective, the root issue here isn’t just about a father wanting to escape a toxic environment; it’s about the complexities of a parent-child relationship strained by years of abuse, neglect, and emotional fallout.

Dr. Jennifer Silvers, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, explains, “Children who grow up in households affected by personality disorders often face long-term emotional challenges that impact their ability to make sound decisions in adulthood. It’s not uncommon for children of narcissistic or borderline parents to struggle with financial or emotional independence, despite being of legal age.”

While it’s clear that this father has already done his part legally, the moral question remains: Does he owe more to his children, even if they don’t seem ready to take responsibility themselves? Experts suggest that although parents have no legal obligation to continue providing for their children once they reach adulthood, moral responsibility can be more complicated. They may need to assess whether emotional neglect or past trauma played a significant role in their children’s current struggles.

In this case, perhaps an alternative solution would be for this father to provide emotional support or guidance to help his children navigate their issues with their mother and reclaim their financial futures. Offering a helping hand, even from a distance, could pave the way for a healthier relationship in the future, even if they’re not ready to accept that help now.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit community’s reactions to this father’s dilemma are mixed. Some users empathize with his desire to prioritize his own happiness after years of turmoil, suggesting that he has the right to pursue his dreams. Others express concern about the potential long-term impact on his relationship with his children, emphasizing the importance of maintaining familial bonds even in challenging circumstances.

At the end of the day, the decision to step away from your children and move forward with your life is never easy. Whether or not this father is an “a**hole” depends on where you stand on parental responsibility and the emotional baggage of a broken family.

What do you think? Would you ever consider stepping away from your children to pursue a dream, or would you feel compelled to fight for them, even if they’re adults now? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!