WIBTA if I move in with my dad even though I know what he did to my mom?

Family conflicts can force us into making tough choices about where we feel safe and supported. In this story, a 15‑year‑old girl explains how she’s grown up feeling alienated by her mother’s constant criticism and favoritism toward her brothers.

Over time, she discovered her true self and found comfort with her dad, who has always been there for her. Now, with her parents divorced—and having learned a painful truth about why they split—she’s questioning whether moving in with her dad is the right choice, even though she knows the hurt he caused her mom.

‘WIBTA if I move in with my dad even though I know what he did to my mom?’

Dr. Jane Thompson, a family therapist specializing in adolescent development, explains that when a parent consistently criticizes and rejects a child’s individuality, it’s natural for that child to gravitate toward the parent who offers more support. “In cases like these, the child is often forced to choose sides simply to preserve her emotional well‑being,” she says. “Your decision to spend more time with your dad—who validates your identity and provides a nurturing environment—is a healthy coping mechanism, especially when your mom’s behavior has been consistently rejecting and critical.”

Dr. Michael Reyes, a clinical psychologist, adds, “It’s not uncommon for siblings to react negatively when one of them aligns with a parent who isn’t favored by the other. However, seeking support from the parent who is emotionally available is a valid strategy for healing and self-discovery.” He emphasizes that while family therapy might eventually help mend some of the tension, it’s important for you to continue prioritizing your own emotional safety and growth.

Both experts agree that your decision isn’t about taking sides for the sake of conflict—it’s about finding a space where you can thrive. Even though others in your family might view your closeness with your dad as problematic, these experts highlight that establishing healthy boundaries and seeking support where it exists is crucial for your overall development.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many commenters on forums sympathize with her for seeking refuge in the supportive environment her dad provides, arguing that her emotional well‑being should come first. Others, however, caution that moving in with one parent can deepen family divisions, especially with siblings who might feel alienated.

Some advise that, rather than making a drastic change immediately, it might be beneficial to explore counseling or mediation to address the hurt feelings on all sides. The community’s feedback is mixed, with most agreeing that her feelings are valid but urging careful consideration of the long-term implications.