WIBTA if I don‘t tell her that the chocolate contains sugar?

A person (in their 30s) is facing a dilemma about whether to tell their partner that the dark chocolate shavings she’s been enjoying in her coffee and yogurt contain sugar. Her partner, who stopped eating added sugar a year ago, mistakenly believes the chocolate is sugar-free.

While the poster supports her partner’s lifestyle choice, they’re unsure whether it’s necessary to share the truth about the sugar content, especially since it makes her happy. Read the full story below.

‘ WIBTA if I don‘t tell her that the chocolate contains sugar?’

Hello, my partner (f in her 30s) is quite into sport and not much into sweets. She stopped eating ADDED sugar „completely“ about a year ago. She doesn’t have a medical constitution, but just realized, that she‘s doing way better without the sugar. She also doesn’t restrict my eating. For example, when we went to a fancy cake place I wanted to go to, she also ate cake, but was feeling a little nauseous afterwards.

So she‘s not completely strict-strict, as sometimes she enjoys honey or if I bake something, e.g.. Now to my dilemma: every weekend she makes coffee for us and does a „special blend“. When she made it before she used cocoa powder, but changed to dark chocolate shavings. It‘s really really nice, but I realized some days ago that she doesn’t know that there is sugar in them.

She eats her yogurt topped with them and is beaming with joy, when telling me „they don’t contain sugar“. They do, she just had the wrong column when checking them. I really love seeing her happy and I researched before and the chocolate shavings without sugar are 1. expensive and 2. I‘m actually not able to eat them (due to intolerance).

I also really support her otherwise, when cooking, baking, etc. I check twice as not to include any sugar. (I also realize on the other hand that she‘s mostly checking for Glucose and doesn’t care about fructose.) So WIBTA if I don‘t tell her that there‘s sugar in her new found joy?. 

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

kharmatika −  EDIT: Made a few tweaks to verbiage because I think my point is not getting across(Although OP completely understood what I meant and thought it was worth looking into just to be more aware of it for the future). This has blown up, so I want people to be able to use it as a reference and jumping off point for their own research.

1. YWBTA. Lying to your partner for their “Happiness” isn’t an option when their happiness is derived from something that has lasting effects on their health.

2. I would suggest looking into a disorder called Orthorexia. It’s an eating disorder centering around “Right Eating”. Where anorexics obsess over weight and calories, Ortho’s obsess over Toxins, or Sugar, or Glycemic Index or liver function.

I know this because I have it(Also sugar avoidant, also have 0 medical reason to be such at this point but I get terrified that having a soda will cause me to die gasping like my mother).

Your girlfriend sounds like she may have some food avoidance issues that bear further discussion, and it’s worth both digging into the cause of those avoidances, and becoming constantly aware o how they are affecting her life, an her emotions.

The fact that you’re worried about your partners reaction going sour if she finds out she’s eating her “Villain Food”, is what concerns me the most. Ortho, and all eating disorders, are not about the food itself, but the emotions around it, and the restriction and control fallacies,

so ensuring that the ongoing approach to this diet is done in a healthy, non-disordered way is important, because a healthy diet can easily become ortho without notice of the people around the person.

If I’m completely off base, ignore me, but I want you to know about this illness because almost no one does and the symptoms can go from totally normal diet stuff to hospitalizable in a matter of months, and lots of people miss it because “Well they aren’t restricting calories or trying to lose weight!”

but a nutritional imbalance can kill with very little fanfare or outwards change. And because many ortho’s, like me, are also bulimic, so “Well she eats cake now and then, she wouldn’t do that if she was obsessing” isn’t necessarily an accurate statement.

StAlvis −  INFO. she‘s mostly checking for Glucose and doesn’t care about fructose … … what does she think the difference is to your body?

Jerseygirl2468 −  INFO why not just say “I think dark chocolate still has a little bit of sugar” and leave it at that?

robynxcakes −  I highly doubt that her entire diet is sugar free. There is sugar in carrots for instance Sugar is not evil. If she is eating fake sugars those are often harder on the digestive system. NAH but it sounds like she needs to see someone as this is not healthy way to live

TheGoodJeans −  YWBTA. A lie of omission is still a lie. She deserves to ha e all the information so she can make an informed decision on her own about what she puts into her body.

Masta-Blasta −  NAH. She read the label wrong. You’re not lying to her, it’s not hurting her, and you have no obligation to tell her. Just pretend you never checked. She will figure it out eventually.

OldestCrone −  NTA. If a grown woman doesn’t realize that a chocolate bar contains sugar, that is on her. It is her responsibility to read the labels of products. At some point, she may learn. When she asks why you didn’t tell her, you can reply that you thought she had done her own research. Neither your problem nor your responsibility.

Prestigious-Use4550 −  YWNBTA. As long as she isn’t eating them by the handful, the amount of sugar in a sprinkle is so minimal it’s irrelevant. Let them be happy.

inbreadwasteofbutter −  Has she asked you to alert her if anything does have sugar? If not, you’re fine to leave it. It’s honestly up to you. I’d personally tell her but just talk about how it is only a little and we’re fine to keep using it. But not stop her if she wants to stop using it.

rlrlrlrlrlr −  NTA. If you had info that she cannot access, then you would have a responsibility. If she had a medical condition that was affected, you would also have a duty to inform.Neither apply here. Here, you have a desire that she enjoys but she hasn’t bothered to look closely at.

But! You need to think how she will react when she eventually finds out. If it seems likely that you knew all the time, she wouldn’t be off base in getting mad. If you can plausibly say that you didn’t know (a white lie in this context IMO) or something to that affect, then maybe prepare for that.

Should the poster tell their partner about the sugar in the chocolate, or is it better to let her enjoy it if it’s making her happy? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts below!