WIBTA If I don’t give my neighbor money for a portion of his private security company bill?
Living in a well-to-do neighborhood comes with its perks—and its problems. Due to recent break-ins and vehicle prowling in the area, many neighbors have invested in advanced security measures. One neighbor, Dan, took it a step further by hiring a private security company to patrol his property. His guard even intervened during a recent break-in attempt at my house, inadvertently providing me with extra protection.
Yet, when Dan later approached me demanding $300 to “make things fair” for the service that his guard provided, I found myself questioning whether I owe him anything at all. In this post, I explore whether refusing to share his security bill makes me the a**hole—or if I’m simply protecting my own financial boundaries.
‘WIBTA If I don’t give my neighbor money for a portion of his private security company bill?’
Financial boundaries among neighbors—especially when it comes to private services—can be tricky. Community dispute mediator and attorney Michael Cohen explains, “Unless there is a clear, preexisting agreement between neighbors to share the cost of a private service, no one is under any obligation to cover expenses incurred solely by another’s personal decision.”
This sentiment is echoed in many online legal resources, which clarify that if you did not sign up for or explicitly benefit from a service as part of a mutual arrangement, you are not responsible for its costs.
In my case, while it’s true that Dan’s security guard happened to be in the area and even assisted during my break-in, the service was contracted solely by him. I already invest in my own security system, and the extra protection was an unintended bonus rather than a shared neighborhood service.
When financial obligations arise from private contracts, the absence of any prior discussion or agreement means that expecting contributions from neighbors is not justified. Respecting individual financial choices—even when benefits overlap—helps prevent unnecessary conflict in the community.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Many comments suggest that if there was no prior agreement to share the security costs, you’re not obligated to pay for your neighbor’s private service. The incidental benefit you received doesn’t create a financial responsibility, since the service was entirely contracted and paid for by your neighbor. Without a mutual understanding in place, expecting you to contribute seems unjustified.
Ultimately, this situation centers on a lack of a prior agreement. While Dan’s security service incidentally benefited me during a break-in, that doesn’t automatically create a financial obligation on my part. Without a mutual understanding in place, insisting that I pay $300 feels more like an attempt to shift the cost of his personal service onto someone else.
I’d love to hear your thoughts: Would you be an a**hole for simply refusing to contribute, or is it worth finding a compromise to keep the peace in the neighborhood? Share your experiences and advice—your insights could help others navigate similar disputes.