WIBTA if I change my wifi password, making it impossible for a kid to not be able to attend her classes?

Living in a not-so-well-off area means budgeting every penny—even your internet connection. For me, a modest WiFi plan comes with a strict four-device limit. When Shanaya, my neighbor’s 12-year-old daughter, asked to use my connection for online classes, I agreed on one condition: she had to study hard and do her best. That arrangement seemed simple enough at first, a kind gesture to help a friend in need.

But over the past two months, my WiFi has become a battleground. Despite only my phone and my daughter’s laptop being connected, the portal shows four devices online. My daughter’s online classes keep getting interrupted, forcing her to use expensive mobile data. I soon discovered that Shanaya’s parents—and even other neighbors—have been sharing the password without permission. Now I’m at a crossroads: if I change the password again and don’t share it with Shanaya, her education might suffer. So, WIBTA if I change the password and not tell Shanaya?

‘ WIBTA if I change my wifi password, making it impossible for a kid to not be able to attend her classes?’

Expert Opinion

Letting your WiFi be exploited by unauthorized users is a modern dilemma. “Internet access is a vital tool for education, especially in today’s digital learning environment,” explains Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship and technology behavior expert featured in Psychology Today. When resources are shared, clear boundaries must be established.

In this case, the promise was that the connection would solely support Shanaya’s schooling, yet repeated breaches have disrupted not only her classes but also my daughter’s learning.

The situation here reflects a broader issue of digital resource management in economically constrained communities. Dr. Orbuch notes, “When budgets are tight, even small services become highly valued, and unauthorized usage can quickly lead to significant disruptions.”

In our case, the limited device capacity means that every extra connection can hinder essential online classes. Establishing stronger controls—whether through technical means or stricter policies—can protect everyone’s access to critical resources.

Moreover, this scenario highlights the importance of communication and responsibility. Dr. Orbuch emphasizes that “parents must model accountability by ensuring that privileges like WiFi access are not abused.” The fact that Shanaya’s parents, and even other neighbors, have been given the password reflects a breakdown in these expectations. Without clear digital boundaries, the educational needs of children and the quality of service for paying users can suffer considerably.

Finally, Dr. Orbuch suggests practical solutions: “Using device whitelisting or guest networks can restrict access to only approved devices,” she advises. This approach not only safeguards the connection for its intended use but also ensures that any misuse is minimized. Ultimately, while the desire to help is commendable, it’s crucial to protect the resource so that it serves its primary purpose—supporting education.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Redditors overwhelmingly support the OP’s decision to protect her daughter’s online education. Many feel it’s justified to restrict access when others abuse the connection, with several suggesting technical fixes like MAC filtering or guest networks. The prevailing sentiment is that the OP’s kindness has been exploited by her neighbors and Shanaya’s parents, making it acceptable to change the password—even if it inconveniences Shanaya—in order to ensure uninterrupted school access.

In the end, managing limited digital resources in a shared community can be a real challenge. While you initially extended a helping hand to ensure Shanaya could attend her online classes, repeated breaches have disrupted not only your daughter’s education but your own daily life. It appears that stricter controls—whether through technical means or firmer enforcement of rules—are essential to restore balance.

What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Would you implement a high-tech solution, or maybe negotiate stricter rules with the neighbors? Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice in the comments below!