WIBTA if I change my wifi password, making it impossible for a kid to not be able to attend her classes?
A Redditor faces a tough dilemma involving their neighbor’s daughter, Shanaya, who has been using their Wi-Fi for online classes. While initially agreeing to help her out, the situation escalates as her parents began sharing the password with others, causing the Redditor’s own family’s connection to suffer. Now, after multiple warnings, they’re considering changing the Wi-Fi password again but wonder if cutting Shanaya off will be unfair. Read the full story below to see how the situation unfolds.
‘ WIBTA if I change my wifi password, making it impossible for a kid to not be able to attend her classes?’
I live in a not so well off area. I am not well of by any means, but I have a wifi connection. My wifi has a 4 device limit, its the cheapest plan they have. My neighbours have a 12 year old daughter who has to attend online classes, I know her well because she comes over fairly often to hang out with my daughter as they are friends.
Her name is Shanaya. Shanaya’s parents told her they cannot afford wifi, so she asked me if she can use mine. I agreed, and said the only condition was that she has to study hella hard and do her best. She agreed and has been using it for a while. Over the past 2 months, I have been finding it hard to use my wifi.
The web portal for the wifi says 4 devices are constantly connected to it when all I am using is my phone and my daughter is using her laptop. Sometimes, my daughter can’t connect to her own classes and uses data.
I asked Shanaya about it last week, and she said her parents forced her to tell them the password and that they have been using it. I went and spoke to her parents about it, and said that it is only for her to be able to attend classes. They said they will stop using it.
But over the week, 4 times my daughters classes got interrupted because there were multiple devices trying to use it. Yesterday, Shanaya told me that our other neighbors also have the password and are also using it, that her parents gave it to them.
I went and warned her parents again, said I will change the password, but they made false promises again and shut their door. I changed the password and gave shanaya the new one, but her parents forced it out of her again.
My daughters education needs to take priority, her classes are important. I can’t let her education take a backseat, but if I change it again and not give shanaya the password, her education will get affected. WIBTA if I change the password and not tell Shanaya?. .
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Master-Manipulation − NTA. How about letting Shanaya over during the day for class and manually putting in and erasing the password for her? If she doesn’t know then she can’t tell
TickingTimebomb1 − NTA – Don’t tell her the password and just put it in for her. Or set it to something not easily rememberable. That way she can’t be forced to tell them it since she doesn’t know it.
You’re being kind for helping her when it’s her parents responsibility to provide schooling for her even in these hard times. It’s not fair that they abuse your kindness and hurt your daughters schooling. Especially since it also harms you and their own daughter.
Edit: I’m also not sure if it’s possible to maybe set up a one time password? Maybe you could do that so the password only works for her device
xwordmom − Compromise solution: Change the password. Have Shanaya come to your home with her laptop. Connect her laptop to your wifi without letting her know what the password is. Then let her take the computer back home. She should be able to connect to your network no problem, and it would be pretty much impossible for her parents to extract your password info from her.
GhostRyderSD − YWNBTA. You are free to use the internet the you pay for however you see fit. If your neighbors are taking advantage of you trying to help a child out, preventing YOU from using the internet, that’s on them, not you.
However, what I would do is change the password, then log in yourself on the neighbor girl’s computer, using the new password. No one else will know it, because you entered it yourself.
You’ll still be able to help this girl, like you want to, and she won’t be forced to give your password by her AH parents. Or, just change the password outright, and be done with it. Again, her AH parents and your AH neighbors are in the wrong here, not you
SimplyRachel13 − NTA- there’s tons of programs right now for students to access free WiFi for learning. Cut the cord.
McSuzy − This is not a question of being an a**hole, it is a question of doing what you need to do. You indicate that you are not in a position to pay for a service for more devices and you must first ensure that your child can do her school work.
Bear in mind, that if the neighbor’s daughter is routinely unable to attend virtual school that should start a chain of events through the district that will likely result in free internet for her household.
SpiffyMcJiggins − NTA. You did a really kind thing for someone in need and they took advantage of your kindness. But, if you’re a little computer savvy, you should be able set your connection to only allow selected devices to connect (Shanaya’s computer and the devices in your household).
H_is_for_Human − NTA – You seem like a nice person. First of all; it’s critical you stop letting other people use your internet connection without strict controls. Imagine the worst case scenario: Shanaya gives the password to a relative that uses it to plan a terrorist attack or buy drugs on the darkweb or download illegal pornography.
That network traffic comes from your home, the FBI / DHS / DEA / ATF etc. busts down your door, shoots your dog or worse, takes all your computers and you end up in an insane legal battle to try to prove your innocence.
So at a minimum this has to stop. If you want to continue giving just Shanaya access then there’s better ways to accomplish that: Low tech solution: Change the password; enter it for Shanaya as needed but don’t actually tell her what it is.
Pros: Easy.
Cons: Not that hard to figure out what the password is, and does nothing to stop Shanaya from using it for non-school activities.
Medium tech solution: Change the password. Then create a list of the MAC addresses of any whitelisted devices on your router and block access to all but the whitelisted devices. Add all of your household’s devices and Shanaya’s computer.
Pros: Better network security overall.
Cons: A bit tedious to identify every device in your home that needs WiFi access (every phone, printer, smart device, computer, TV, etc). Also doesn’t stop Shanaya from using your network on her device after school hours.
Highest tech solution: Change the password. Then make a totally new guest network. Figure out a way to create a whitelist that only lets Shanaya’s computer on the guest network and has a separate password and lets you set time limits for access.
Block all domains that aren’t whitelisted (those needed for her schoolwork). These features may or may not be available on your specific router so you might need a new router. There might be ways to add this functionality to a router that doesn’t have that baked in but that’s beyond me.
Pros: Shanaya doesn’t get access to your other devices, as they won’t be on the guest network. Shanaya can share the password, but it only works for her computer even if she does. She can only go to websites that you approve. Finally you can set it to work only during school hours.
Cons: Complex to setup, might need new networking equipment, could be difficult to manage the network moving forward if you don’t know what you are doing.
NHFoodie − So, I’ll tentatively say NTA and provide a couple of suggestions. Why don’t you enter the wifi password into Shanaya’s device and don’t write it down and don’t tell her the password? It’s possible that you can work out a wifi password through another device but that would require some tech savvy on the part of her parents.
Another option might be to tell her she must be in your house to use the wifi: enter the password the same way and before she leaves force the device to forget the network. I understand why you’d feel bad because it would negatively impact her schoolwork. It sucks that Shanaya has s**tty parents.
DctrBanner − NTA. You’re not paying for your neighbors and your other neighbors – and Shanaya can’t be trusted to not give them the password. I don’t know what wifi service you’re using, but I would look into options to allow only certain MAC addresses access.
If it’s possible, you could give Shanaya the password, but any device that is not one of yours, or the one she uses for school, would continue to be blocked. Another alternative is to ask Shanaya to bring her device over and you can type in the password for her. That way she doesn’t actually know it and can’t share it.
Do you think the Redditor was justified in changing the password to protect their own family’s needs, or would cutting off Shanaya’s internet access be unfair to her education? How would you handle this delicate situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!