WIBTA if I called off my wedding because my fiance does not want my son to bring his boyfriend to the wedding?

When love and loyalty collide, which should prevail? A father faces an agonizing choice after his fiancée demands his son hide his sexuality—and his boyfriend—from her conservative family at their wedding. This clash between parental devotion and spousal harmony raises urgent questions: Is compromise possible when principles are at stake? And can a marriage thrive if it begins with exclusion?

A single dad who raised his son since his teens is now engaged to a woman whose family disapproves of LGBTQ+ relationships. When she insists their wedding exclude the son’s boyfriend to appease her parents, the father grapples with canceling the wedding altogether. His dilemma pits his unwavering support for his son against his love for his partner—and the future they’ve planned.

‘WIBTA if I called off my wedding because my fiance does not want my son to bring his boyfriend to the wedding?’

Expert Opinions:

LGBTQ+ Advocacy and Parental Responsibility
Dr. Caitlin Ryan, director of the Family Acceptance Project, warns: “Parents who force LGBTQ+ children to conceal their identities risk severe mental health consequences, including depression and suicidal ideation. Prioritizing a partner’s comfort over a child’s authenticity sends a damaging message: ‘You are conditional.’”

The Ripple Effect of Wedding Compromises
Marriage therapist Dr. John Gottman emphasizes: “How couples handle conflict before marriage predicts long-term success. If one partner dismisses the other’s core values—like family loyalty—it erodes trust. This isn’t about one day; it’s about whose needs will always matter more.”

Religious Conservatism vs. Inclusive Love
Reverend Emmy Kegler, author of One Coin Found, argues: “Faith should never justify exclusion. Jesus dined with outcasts; weddings should too. If her family’s beliefs can’t coexist with your son’s existence, that’s a theological failure—not your problem.”

Solutions Proposed by Experts:

• Unified Front: Dr. Ryan advises: “Stand with your son openly. If your fiancée can’t defend him to her family, she’s choosing their bigotry over your family’s unity.”
• Pre-Marital Counseling: Gottman recommends urgent therapy to address conflicting priorities and values.
• Boundary Setting: Kegler suggests: “Host a smaller, inclusive wedding without her parents. If she refuses, ask: Why do their prejudices matter more than your son’s joy?”

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

This isn’t just a wedding dispute—it’s a litmus test for your future. Will your marriage be built on secrecy and appeasement, or honesty and acceptance? Your fiancée’s refusal to defend your son suggests her priorities lie with placating prejudice, not nurturing your blended family. If “one day” of exclusion feels unbearable, imagine decades of sidelining your son. So we ask: Should love require hiding part of yourself—or those you love? Where do you stand?