WIBTA for telling my half sister’s new family that she kind of assumed my identity?

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What happens when family secrets spiral into public harassment? A woman faces backlash after her half-sister fabricates a life story to hide her affair-born origins—and now strangers are attacking her for “jealousy” she never felt.

‘ WIBTA for telling my half sister’s new family that she kind of assumed my identity?’

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I (F25) have a half sister (F24), called ‘Hannah’. I suppose from our ages the circumstances of her birth are very obvious, and because of this and the subsequent drama, she was never in my life growing up. I would say I’ve met her less than 10 times in my life.

When she was 16 she started consistently reaching out to me via social media but I was never interested. This stopped when we were about 20. Since then, I mostly forgot about about her existence until she reached out to me again at the start of this year, saying she’d got engaged.

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She wanted me to come to her engagement party and help her get in contact with the rest of my dad’s side of the family. I told her I wasn’t interested but I did ask the rest of the family (granddad, aunts, cousins) if they wanted me to put them in touch with her and they said no, so I told her that, too.

About a week later I got a message on social media from her fiancé, digging me out for how I treated her. He told me he understood that it was tough being the product of an affair and he gets that I would be jealous of her since I was shunned by the family, but that she felt terrible about it and had always wanted a relationship with me.

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I was as confused as I was angry because he had the entire story arse backwards. I forwarded the messages to Hannah with a question mark and she admitted that her fiancé and his whole family don’t know that she is affair baby, that they think she stayed in contact with Dad’s family, that she went to the schools and university and basically lived the life I did.

I didn’t blast her for the lies, I just told her that if I ever heard from any of the people in her life again, I would tell them the truth. The months went by. A few days ago, I received more messages, from the fiancé and the fiancé’s sister, calling me a heartless b**tch for refusing Hannah’s attempts at contact.

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The sister said I needed to get over my jealousy of Hannah. The fiancé called me a spiteful witch for ‘emotionally blackmailing’ Hannah’s dad into not going to the wedding. It took everything in me not to reply and read the lot of them to filth. So, now I’m contemplating whether I would be the AH for messaging them back with the truth.

It can’t go on like this, I told Hannah to handle her business and she didn’t. Also, her lies are pretty creepy. She’s marrying a guy who has no idea who she is. Then again, it’s not like she sent these people after me, so maybe I would be the AH for tearing apart her whole life over something that isn’t technically her fault.

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Expert Opinions

Family Dynamics and Secrecy
Dr. Rebecca Johnson, family therapist and author of Broken Trust, explains: “When someone fabricates their identity to escape shame, it often backfires. Lies create collateral damage, especially when they involve rewriting others’ lives. OP’s threat to expose the truth isn’t vindictive—it’s self-defense against defamation.”

Legal Implications of Harassment
Attorney Mark Torres, specializing in cyber harassment, warns: “False narratives that harm reputations can escalate into legal issues. OP has a right to defend herself. Sending a cease-and-desist letter or involving law enforcement may be necessary if harassment continues.” (Source: Legal Ethics Quarterly)

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Ethics of Truth-Telling
Dr. Emily Carter, bioethicist, argues: “While exposing Hannah’s lies could devastate her relationships, OP has no obligation to protect someone weaponizing falsehoods against her. Transparency becomes ethical when silence enables harm.”

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Community Opinions

Summary: Redditors overwhelmingly side with OP, urging her to expose Hannah’s lies to stop the harassment. Key themes:

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  • “NTA. Hannah’s lies are putting your reputation at risk.”
  • “She’s manipulating her fiancé’s family—they deserve the truth.”
  • “Your father should be handling this, not you.”

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This story reveals the fallout of generational secrets and the burden placed on blameless family members. While Hannah’s pain as an “affair baby” is valid, her lies have crossed into slander, leaving OP to choose between protecting herself or preserving Hannah’s facade. Verdict: NTA. Truth is not cruelty when used to stop harm.

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One Comment

  1. Jane 2 months ago

    NTA but your dad is. Was he involved in her life at all? Her stories scream desperation and despair. You should have more compassion. She hasn’t “stolen your identiy” just made up stories about her life. Since you don’t intend to ever meet those people, it doesn’t affect you at all.