WIBTA for telling my dad i felt like an accessory to his “family” vacation?
A Reddit user recounts their experience during a “family” vacation with their dad, his girlfriend, and her family. The trip, originally promised as a “me-centric” experience, turned into something very different. They now wonder if they’d be in the wrong to confront their dad about feeling like an accessory to the trip. Read their detailed account below.
‘ WIBTA for telling my dad i felt like an accessory to his “family” vacation?’
I (older teen genderfluid) recently went on a vacation with my dad, his girlfriend, her daughter, and her daughter’s partner. It was a trip to Universal Studios and normally I would not agree but he insisted that this would be a very me-centric trip and I would be able to make a lot of decisions.
We got to the Airbnb after his girlfriend, will call her April. She very quickly made it clear she had no real interest in talking to me but that was okay because we didn’t have a lot in common. My dad really drove home that her daughter, “Maya” and Maya’s partner, “Eli”, would be much more talkative with me.
They got there later that night and I attempted to start a conversation with them but they insisted that they were tired. I went to my room only for the sounds of all of them playing video games to start up only 10 minutes later. I was hurt but brushed it off.
The next day was the first day at Universal Studios and I had to go pick up my disability pass. April and Maya insisted on going to Nintendo Land first and I agreed since it was the newest park and would probably be much busier. We went there and went on the Mario ride very quickly with my disability access pass.
After that, we went on a few more of the VR story rides and I kept quiet because I knew they’d probably get pretty busy later on even if I didn’t like them. We got food after and the rest of the group said that they wanted to do another few rides I wasn’t very interested in.
I told them that that was fine and that I would probably split off to go do my own thing but they were very against this idea. They brought up how they would have to wait in line forever without my disability pass, only backtracking to come up with another l**e excuse when I gave them a weird look.
I ended up going off on my own and writing the only few roller coasters that there were. We met up later and they all mentioned how the lines have been okay but they definitely would have gotten on faster had I been around. I ignored it and we we went on a few more rides as a group before going home.
The next day was a pretty similar story. We stuck around for the Horror Nights and I was pressured into going to all of them because Maya and Eli would be able to get in faster. Towards the end of the night I decided to ride front row on the Jurassic ride because I figured if I got wet I could just go back and change before I got overstimulated.
Unfortunately the ride got stuck and I was sitting in wet clothes for over an hour. My dad then snapped at me for not telling him what I was doing when I went to go get said clothes. I was forced to play one card game with them after, which wasn’t fun.
I went back home and told my mom all of this only to find out that my dad had been complaining to her that he felt like an ATM the entire time. I’d like to add that the money he was giving me was money I had asked him to hold on to for me because I was notorious for losing things.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
politicsandpancakes − You are NOT the a**hole here, OP. You were promised a family vacation that focused on you and got anything but that. It sounds like the girlfriend and her family members were solely interested in using you for your disability access, which is extremely inappropriate and selfish.
Your dad should have stood up for you instead of complaining about you even more. I am so sorry you didn’t get the trip you wanted! I hope you still had some fun and that you’re able to go another time with more supportive people around you.
sexywallposter − NTA. You were an accessory, they used you as a “fast pass” to get on the rides that they wanted. Not a single moment of consideration was given to you or your wants while you were there, aside from the times that you went off to do your own thing.
They complained because they weren’t getting what they wanted, because you’re a person and not a fast pass. Your dad likely caught flak from April when Maya and Eli couldn’t use you to have fun. None of them made any attempt to be kind to you, or even be friendly.
Even when you were fulfilling your “fast pass function”, they couldn’t be bothered to be nice to you. They at least ought to have 1. gotten their own actual fast passes, 2. been more considerate of what you’d like to do, 3. or failing all that, been kind enough to buy you food and souvenirs to pay you back for your time and helpfulness.
They’re all crappy people, simply put. You won’t see an apology, because they were fine with using you for their own gain. Best advice moving forward would to be declining any activities that they can use you to benefit from.
If you do feel like vacationing with them again, maybe make a plan to include someone who won’t do that, like a friend, so you can go do the things you want to and enjoy someone who is actually there for you, and not your ability to skip lines.. Best wishes ❤️
flmdicaljcket − NTA. They only invited you to use your for your pass and it’s pretty….rich….that your dad thinks he’s an atm for giving you back your own money.
Ok_Conversation9750 − NTA. Your father lied to you and used you for your disability pass. That was not a “me-centric” trip for you – it was “his new family centric.” I would decline any future “vacation “ offers from him in the future.
eowynsheiress − NTA. Your dad let his girlfriend’s family use you for your access pass. And he wasn’t an ATM, he was a father holding on to your money! I think you should steer clear of your dad and his girlfriend’s family for a while. They really are all AHs.
bakeacake45 − Your Dad is the primary AH here. First, why is he dating a woman who he acknowledges isn’t interested in interacting with his own daughter? That should be a giant red flag for him. Then he complained behind your back to your Mom about money which is yours?
He seemed to know they just wanted you for your disabled pass and didn’t curb their behaviors- did anyone think to even thank you? You are being used. But I think you know that. A long discussion with your Mom is in order about your relationship with your Dad going forward.
Shot_Ad1295 − If it was a very ‘you-centric’ trip and you’d be able to make a lot of decisions as he said then you wouldn’t be the one being dragged around going on different rides that you aren’t interested in.
I’m not sure why he would invite you if his girlfriend, Maya and Eli clearly weren’t even interested in socialising with you, and the only time they would is to complain about waiting in the queue or if it would’ve gone faster if you were there with them. It really does seem that they wanted you there solely for that purpose. NTA
llama_llama_48213 − NTA. You were used. People do it all the time if they have a family member with a condition. Good for you for going out on your own and leaving them squawking. Now you know. Trust this experience for the future with your father and his new family.
DazzlingPotion − You are now \*wise\* to any promises your Dad makes about spending time with his girlfriend’s family. Do Not Forget and simply say “No Thank you” (on repeat as will likely be necessary) to any future invites.
Wanting you around for your disability pass was SO RUDE. You should feel good about yourself for putting up with that for even one minute but, if I were you, I wouldn’t ever do that in the future. They deserve to wait in line. You WNBTA for telling your Dad exactly what you thought of this “vacation”.
Forward-Dingo1431 − WNBTA!! Telling someone your sincere feelings, especially when you do it in a calm and respectful manner, should NEVER make you feel bad in any way. I’m sorry that you feel this way. The fact that you were spending your own money and he felt like an atm is a bit disconcerting, as well as all of the other comments made by his girlfriend and daughter. Be honest and respectful if/when you discuss it with him and move on.
Would it be fair for the user to share their feelings with their dad about being sidelined during the trip? Or should they let it go to avoid further tension? How would you approach this kind of situation? Share your thoughts below!