WIBTA for refusing to get a dog sitter for Christmas?

A Redditor (F23) shares a dilemma about her parents refusing to let her bring her small dog when visiting for Christmas. With dog-sitting costs adding up and a tight budget, she’s considering telling her parents that if they don’t allow the dog, she and her family won’t visit. Should she stand her ground, or would this make her the bad guy? Read the story below for more context and weigh in!

‘ WIBTA for refusing to get a dog sitter for Christmas?’

I have a small dog. He is house broken and doesn’t destroy things. He barks sometimes and is a little annoying. He’s a dog. I live about 5 hours from my parents so I can’t leave him at home when I go visit them. If I lived nearby I would, no problem.

They do not want him in their house, and expect me to get a dog sitter when I visit. (They are not allergic, they just don’t like dogs). This costs $40-$60/ day and I can’t really afford it. And that’s not including Holliday rates and closures.

WIBTA for telling my parents that if my spouse, and baby and I are going to drive 10 hours to see them then they should let me bring the dog, and otherwise I’m just not going to come?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

4th_chakra −  WIBTA for telling my parents that if my spouse, and baby and I are going to drive 10 hours to see them then they should let me bring the dog, and otherwise I’m just not going to come?

It’s their house, and their Christmas event. Not having people’s dogs over isn’t unrealistic. But it’s entirely your choice to not go, rather than do that. However, it is NOT your prerogative to bring your dog anyway, against their wishes.. NTA if you stay home.. YTA if you bring your pup.

SushiGuacDNA −  NAH. Not **quite** the a**hole. It is quite reasonable for your parents not to want dogs in their house. It is quite reasonable that you can’t afford a dog sitter. So far no assholes. It’s an unfortunate combination, but no assholes.

The place where you start moving towards a**hole territory is when you tell your parents what they “should” do. Don’t be so bossy. Let them know that you can’t afford the cost of a dog sitter, and so if the dog can’t come, then unfortunately, you can’t come either. This is a subtle but important difference. Don’t tell them what **they should do** — tell them what their decision means **you will do**.

I have a hunch, though. You talk a lot about cost, but my instinct is that what really bothers you is that they don’t like your dog, and that’s why you are reacting so strongly. That nudges you slightly further towards a**hole behavior, so be careful.

Tdluxon −  NAH. Just be honest with them… “we can’t afford to hire a dog sitter so if you aren’t OK with us bringing the dog, we aren’t going to be able to come this year.”

They can come visit you instead, they can give you money for a sitter, cancel the trip, whatever they want to do. No need to beat around the bush, that is just the plain truth of the situation.

Worth-Season3645 −  YWBTA….If you go about telling g your parents the way you stated. You chose to have a dog. You chose that responsibility. It is not up to anyone else to accept your dog.

That being said, you can tell your parents that you will not be visiting for the holidays because you cannot afford to board your dog. They are more than welcome to visit you in your home.

StAlvis −  NAH. (They are not allergic, they just don’t like dogs). And theirs is a **_totally_ reasonable** position. It is **not** normal to bring *an animal* with you when you’re going places. If you insist upon this encumbrance, expect to find yourself invited to fewer events. He barks sometimes and is a little annoying. Who would *want* that around for the holidays?

kumo-chan_nani-ka −  YWBTA. Their house, their rules. If they don’t want a dog there, that’s their prerogative. And you’re within your right to stay home if you can’t bring the dog – that’s your choice. It’s not what makes you the AH – it’s the emotional b**ckmail.

DinoSnuggler −  YTA, but only because of the attitude. It’s fine for your parents to say “no dog in our house”. It’s fine for you to say “no worries, but that means we can’t make it, perhaps you should come visit us instead”. It’s not fine for you to demand you be able to bring your dog where it’s not wanted.

tinyahjumma −  If he’s a little annoying to you, who loves him most, he will be insufferable to people who do not care for him. YWBTA if you use staying home as a punishment against your parents. NTA if you just can’t see any way around it.

CharSea −  What everyone else here has said, but also, girl grow a spine. You do not have to pack up and go visit your parents every time they tell you to. You are an adult with your own family. Visit when YOU want to see them.

hadesarrow3 −  YWBTA. Not liking dogs is 100% reason enough not to want one in your house. WTF. Look, if you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it, and that doesn’t make you an AH. But your attitude that they should just s**k it up is a real problem.

Part of being a responsible pet parent is arranging for their care when you can’t travel with them. It’s not like this is some new issue you never could have planned for. You’re going to be the parent who insists on taking your kid to all the no-kid places and events, because it’s too inconvenient to find a sitter, aren’t you?

Would the Redditor be justified in prioritizing her dog’s needs and budget over her parents’ preferences, or should she try to find a compromise to keep the family visit intact? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts and advice below!