WIBTA for not giving my sister money when she owns me over 600 dollars?

A 17-year-old Redditor shares their struggle after becoming the target of constant financial requests from their family, particularly their sister. Despite already lending her over $600, the sister continues to guilt-trip them with over 80 messages, asking for even more money. Feeling overwhelmed and taken advantage of, they’re unsure whether refusing to help further would make them the bad guy.

‘ WIBTA for not giving my sister money when she owns me over 600 dollars?’

I’m 17 and have been working a job for a few months now. While I’m glad to have my own income, I’ve noticed that ever since I started earning money, people around me—especially my family—have been asking me for financial help. At first, I didn’t think much of it because I care about my family and want to help when I can, but now it feels like the expectations are getting out of hand, particularly with my sister.

She currently owes me over $600. I lent her money a while ago to help her out with something important (at least, that’s what she told me), but she hasn’t made any effort to pay me back. I’ve already been feeling frustrated about that, but now she’s been messaging me non-stop, asking for even more money. She’s sent over 80 messages on Discord, telling me how much she loves me, trying to guilt me into giving her more money, and promising she’ll pay me back.

To be honest, I feel like I’m being used. It’s hard to say no to someone you care about, but every time I bring up the fact that she already owes me so much, she either brushes it off or says she’ll pay me back “later.” When I’ve mentioned how unfair this feels, other people around me just tell me I’m being overly sensitive or drawing random conclusions. They say I’m making a big deal out of nothing and that I should just give her the money because “family helps family.” But I don’t see how this is fair.

Right now, as I’m writing this, my sister is freaking out again. She’s spamming me with more messages, and it’s honestly starting to scare me. Her constant messages and guilt trips make me feel so overwhelmed and anxious. I feel bad for saying no, but I don’t think it’s right for her to keep asking for more when she hasn’t paid back what she already owes.

Would I be the bad guy if I refused to give her any more money? I want to set boundaries, but I also don’t want to seem selfish or like I’m abandoning my family.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

meldadgamer −  Nta. I personally would have stopped lending her money after she owed £100.

LightPhotographer −  You are probably a people pleaser and now you have a job, people look at you for free money. Stand up for yourself. View some Youtubes on ‘setting boundaries’, honestly, it is a skill you can learn. And in your case it may earn you a fortune. Everyone around you says you should give her money? How much are they giving her?.

Remember two things: Your sisters money problems are not solved by giving her money. You can give her a million and she will just spend it and ask for more. And call you an a h again. Never do JANE – Justify your ‘no’, Apologize, Negotiate or Explain. No is a complete answer. “No that does not work for me” repeated 100 times also works, if you like more words. Never JANE.

Cap_Happy −  The best piece of money advice I ever heard was from Mr. Wonderful on shark tank. When people ask him if they can borrow money his answer is. “No. I’ll give you the money, but I’ll only do it once.”

Yaggizi −  Why is it so hard to block her and all the people who bother you asking for money? Keep these people out of your life, it’s the best thing to do. They just want to use you as an ATM, that’s all. If you don’t do this, they’ll never stop, they’ll always want more, and when you have nothing to offer them, they’ll all disappear from your life. So don’t be afraid or feel sorry for them, stay away from these people.. Merry Christmas to you.

Sue_in_Victoria −  NTA and its time to make it clear to anyone who asks you for money that you are not a bank. You’re the one working the job, so the moneys yours and you don’t owe anyone a share of it.

BufferingJuffy −  NTA Tell her you’ll give her $100, so now she only owes you $500.

Less-Engineer-9637 −  ESH. Why are you scared to stand up for yourself and block her?

twelvedayslate −  NTA. It’s not your job to fund her life.

theeniebean −  NTA, but also YTA for letting it hit $600. Don’t lend money to family or friends unless you’re 100% okay with not getting it back, it very rarely ends well.

OwlUnique8712 −  NTA- because she won’t leave you alone and keeps harassing her… You send exactly 1 text back saying NO I can’t help you! Then block her for awhile so you no longer have to get any guilt trips for saying NO.. you have given plenty. You are going to be constantly broke yourself and working just to hand over your paycheck. Please don’t feel guilty because she will just keep asking if you keep giving.. she honestly needs to get a job.