When should I tell my brother and his Fiancé that I’m pregnant?

A Reddit user offered to be a surrogate for her brother and his fiancé after they explored options to start a family. After two failed IVF attempts, she finally received the joyful news that she’s pregnant with their child. However, with their wedding just a week away, she’s unsure whether to share the big news before the wedding or wait until after. Read the heartfelt dilemma below.

‘ When should I tell my brother and his Fiancé that I’m pregnant?’

In November 2019, my brother and his fiancé, who have been together for seven years, started exploring adoption and surrogacy to grow their family. Wanting to help them as much as possible, I offered to be their surrogate. We agreed to use his fiancé’s sperm, so their child could share a biological connection with both of them.

After two heartbreaking failed IVF cycles, we finally received the news we’d been hoping for—this time, it worked. I’m pregnant! Their baby is officially on the way.

The timing, however, is a little tricky. Their wedding is next week, and now I’m torn about when to share the news. Should I tell them before their big day, letting this joyful secret add to the celebration? Or should I wait until after, so they can fully focus on their wedding without added emotion?

I’ve decided I’ll tell them in just a few hours, while they’re both home. I hope this news brings even more happiness to their already exciting time.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

[Reddit User] −  Congratulations to everyone! I’d say sooner the better, it’s a happy moment to be shared and I’m sure they’d want to be there throughout the pregnancy. Not sure if you wanted to go for a surprise kind of thing.

Bison_XL −  I think right now before, it seems like itd make the wedding even more special!

tiemusgw −  I would tell them now. I could see an argument for waiting until after the wedding, especially if you’re before 10 weeks and things are still dicey, but I think the safe bet is to tell them now.

DO NOT surprise them with the news at their wedding. The reveal is their moment, please don’t take that away from them. This is an incredible thing you’re doing. You are a great human being.

GarlicButterGarnet −  I read the title and thought I was about to read about a toxic family situation where sibling hates to share the limelight. This wound up being so pure and beautiful and I’m in tears. Congratulations and all the love in the world, internet stranger!

bluebasset −  Tell them that you have an early wedding present! Give them a nicely wrapped box, with a positive pregnancy test in it! Or, if that’s too gross, the lab report saying you’re pregnant!

maebert420 −  Okay first this is SO EXCITING! Congratulations!!!! I can’t keep a secret to myself to save my life so I would spill the beans now.

BamusBatisBant −  OMG UPDATE US. (And tell me when you have, so I can read it =D)

KatTheDogFosterer −  Congratulations! I’m also currently pregnant as a surrogate but I’m a gestational carrier. I would tell them any info as soon as you find out (if that is what they want, of course). It seems like most parents want to know what’s going on and feel that you don’t need to shield them from any situations, even if there is bad news.

lenny446 −  When they walk in just say “hey dads what’s up?”. It’ll take them a sec and then they’ll lose their s**t!

yet_anothr_throwawy −  Definitely before you have the baby

This is a moment of pure joy and life-changing news! But timing is everything — would you share this wonderful news before a major life event or wait until after? How would you handle it if you were in her shoes? Share your thoughts below!