UPTADE AITA for calling my parents selfish for having me, knowing they’d pass down a hereditary illness, and going LC after they hid it, putting my child at risk too?
When family secrets cut deeper than any knife, the truth can shatter more than just trust—it can end generations of silence. In this story, a 26-year-old mother reveals how discovering her hereditary illness—and her parents’ decision to hide it—has forced her to confront painful truths. Not only has this secret jeopardized her own health, but it now threatens the well-being of her child.
With her family blaming her for “ruining everything,” she’s had enough. Feeling betrayed and overwhelmed by their selfish choices, she’s chosen to go low contact. Is she justified in calling her parents selfish for knowingly risking her future and that of her child, or is she overreacting to a secret that, while painful, was meant to protect them?
‘UPTADE AITA for calling my parents selfish for having me, knowing they’d pass down a hereditary illness, and going LC after they hid it, putting my child at risk too?’
Honoring the Right to Know and Protect
Dr. Henry Cloud emphasizes, “When parents withhold life-altering health information, they not only compromise trust but also endanger future generations. It’s essential to uphold transparency, even if the truth is painful.”
The Psychological Toll of Family Secrets
Dr. Laura Markham explains, “Hidden truths about hereditary illnesses can lead to a cascade of emotional and psychological harm. A person’s decision to distance themselves is often a necessary step toward self-preservation and healing.”
Balancing Familial Bonds and Self-Care
Dr. John Gottman advises, “While family unity is important, it should never come at the cost of personal health or safety. Establishing boundaries—especially in cases of betrayal—is crucial for long-term well-being.”
Solutions Proposed by Experts
- Open and Honest Communication: Family therapy or mediated discussions might help resolve deep-seated grievances, though only if all parties are willing to be transparent.
- Professional Counseling: Both individual and family counseling can assist in processing the emotional fallout and planning for a healthier future.
- Medical and Legal Guidance: Consulting with medical professionals about testing and treatment, as well as legal advisors regarding any potential liability, can help safeguard the health and rights of future generations.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit users are deeply divided on this issue. Many empathize with her, arguing that when parents knowingly risk their children’s future by hiding critical health information, going low contact is a justified response. Others believe that while her pain is understandable, complete estrangement might close the door to eventual reconciliation and healing. The prevailing sentiment, however, leans toward the need for personal boundaries when family actions have far-reaching consequences.
This story forces us to confront a harrowing question: When is it acceptable to sever ties with the family that gave you life because of the burdens they choose to hide? Is it justified to call your parents selfish for endangering your future—and that of your child—even if their intentions were to “protect” you? Or is there room for forgiveness and healing despite the betrayal? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights might help others facing similarly painful family dilemmas.