Update post: My (26/f) mom died a couple days ago. My boyfriend (31/m) is refusing to go to the funeral or let my daughter go with me because it’s religious.

A Reddit user shared an emotional update after her boyfriend refused to let her take their daughter to her mother’s funeral due to his religious beliefs. Despite her efforts to compromise, things escalated when he blocked her car and attempted to sabotage her attendance.

With support from her brother and sister-in-law, she was able to attend the service, and now she’s made the difficult decision to move forward without John. Read the original story below for more details on the heartbreaking situation and her decision.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/KuClf

‘ Update post: My (26/f) mom died a couple days ago. My boyfriend (31/m) is refusing to go to the funeral or let my daughter go with me because it’s religious.’

I tried being reasonable to John about he wanted to handle things…I even told him like one poster here suggested that he didn’t have to go to the service, but could wait in the lobby with my daughter while the service was on going, then she could spend time with my family after the service, but he again, shot it down.

He would be able to hear the service and that was “a violation of his beliefs and asking to compromise on those beliefs was unconscionable and unfair to our daughter”. I told him I had had it. This is the icing on a very large cake.

I told John that as of this week, I wanted our bank account separated (he made us join accounts to make sure we split everything equally to be fair despite ME making more) and that I’d be staying with my brother after the funeral while we figured out what to do wether that was a total breakup or counseling. It was up to him.

He said counseling was for “the weak minded” and that we were staying together despite my “empty threats” and there was no way in f**k he was letting me take his money. He became very loud and in my face during this conversation so I just let him throw his tantrum until he took my silence as agreement.

I took my daughter with me to the viewing with no problems. John and I barely spoke that day, which was fine by me. But it hit the fan the next day….when I got up in the morning to get myself ready and get my daughter ready, I discovered that he had the motherfucking gall to PARK HIS CAR DIRECTLY BEHIND MINE, blocking me into the driveway.

I had no way to get to the funeral in my own car. John ALWAYS drives to work, but for reasons I can only image were to get back at me, decided to take the metro, and took the baby carriage and bottles, and my pump with him. My brother and I have our differences, granted, in fact we haven’t talked much since my mom and I were estranged (we started talking again after she was sick),

but he’ll forever be a saint to me for what he did. I called him crying, and he and my sister in law arrived within 20 minutes. SIL calmed me down and helped me get my daughter ready, and they brought along spare bottles, a carrier, and a b**ast pump. Thanks to them I was able to go my mom’s funeral in comfort, and my daughter was an angel during the service.

They calmed me down and everything went perfectly, and even though I was a mess most of the day, having my daughter with me, and my SIL and even my brother with me to lean on gave me peace on the inside. I’ve made up my mind not to tolerate John’s insane and controlling behavior anymore.

He had a litany of excuses for doing what he did (he even tried to claim his car had problems) and I don’t want to hear any of them. I never wanted to be a single mom…I always wanted to raise my baby within a family. But I’ve decided that going alone is so much better than doing it with this man, who thought nothing of trying to kick me while I was down.

My brother’s arranged for me to talk to a friend of his that specializes in family law this week, and we’re taking it from there. I still feel so guilty for what happened with my mom…I miss her so much. I hope from here on out I can make her proud of me, despite my mistakes.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

dragonfruitfly −  Please make sure you get the finances squared away so he doesn’t end up keeping your money that’s in your joint account.

Kahtoorrein −  What a f**king j**kass. I had a feeling when I read your first post that this would end in breakup, but I hadn’t thought that he was so much of a j**kass as to deny a baby food (bottle feeding where breastfeeding is not appropriate)

and shelter (carriage to keep her out of the sun and wind). That’s f**king criminal and you could use it against him in your custody case, especially of your brother and SIL are willing to testify that they had to bring you supplies.

inkypinkyblinkyclyde −  When the courts are informed of his behavior, you are going to get everything you want.

Itsmepeaches −  Wow. Maybe instead of separating accounts you can take your name off of it after withdrawing half and start a new account. So it won’t be a while not her battle. Condolences on your loss

zanpher717 −  If there is a custody battle, make sure to tell the judge that you are concerned having your child live with a religious extremist……. Even though he is an atheist, that is exactly what he is. Plus, it will infuriate him.. Sorry about your mom.. *hugs*

Jangetta −  I am so sorry you are going through this right now and I’m so glad you have the support of a family behind you. Your daughter is far better off without someone like this as a role model for what she should look for in life and I’m glad you’re getting out of this situation.

I would call the bank and see what you can do about the joint account before he tries something like cleaning it out and putting it somewhere else as well.
I’m so sorry and I wish you all the best

[Reddit User] −  For future reference, I wouldn’t recommend mixing your finances and bank accounts with a boyfriend you’ve been with for 1.5 years.

Green7000 −  Please do the fiances now. This guy will empty the accounts behind your back. Also double check your credit to make sure he hasn’t opened any lines in your name or that you’re not on the hook for any debts you don’t know about. For your next guy look into a person that doesn’t belittle you or browbeat you into decisions that are unfair to you.

Ichigomuse −  I just read your first post and this post. First off. I’m sorry for the loss of your mother. Secondly. I am glad you are rid of that man. He’s as toxic as they come. And thirdly, I’m glad you have a supporting family who came through for you. Anyways. Your ex sounds down right horrible.

n your first post you said he called your mother a cunt and said she deserved it. I would have left he then and there, no one talks like that about family, not even if you have differences with said family, especially if they have passed away.

Any amazing qualities he had were all a charade and he showed you his true self. I’m proud of the fact that you realized that even though your daughter may not know her father, she is going to be better off. Take care of yourself and your daughter OP.

laziebones −  If he had car trouble why would he then take your baby carriage and bottles/pumps on the metro to work? Did he try to explain that part?

The user has been through an emotional rollercoaster, losing her mother and enduring manipulative behavior from her boyfriend. Do you think she made the right decision in moving forward without him, or should she have tried harder to salvage the relationship? How would you handle a partner who’s not supportive during such a difficult time? Share your thoughts below!