Update-My(26M) brother(29M) is married to, and cheating on my best friend(26F) and I’m conflicted if I should say anything.

A 26-year-old man shares an update after deciding to tell his best friend, Pam, that his brother, Jim, was cheating on her. After much internal struggle, he called his brother to confront him, giving him a chance to come clean to Pam.

When Jim didn’t, the man told Pam about the affair, providing proof with screenshots. Pam is now leaving Jim, and the man hasn’t heard from his brother since. He’s relieved that Pam won’t be hurt any longer but feels conflicted about his relationship with his brother. Read the full story below.

‘ Update-My(26M) brother(29M) is married to, and cheating on my best friend(26F) and I’m conflicted if I should say anything.’

Thanks for all the help I got in my last post. As much as it pained me to do so I decided to do the right thing. Pam should know that my brother is cheating on her. I decided to give Jim a chance. I called him and told him that, I can’t keep this secret. It was tearing me up inside to do so.

I couldn’t think about anything else. I told him I loved him so much but I couldn’t let him do this to someone else I loved like family. He begged me to reconsider. He didn’t try to guilt me or anything. But he did say that he needs his younger brother to just be there for him. I told him I couldn’t.

I asked him what he would want if it was me getting cheated on, or our little sister getting cheated. He said that he understood that it’s wrong but he was just exploring himself. I told him that thats no excuse. I told him, that he had until that evening to tell Pam, and if he didn’t I would have to. We then hung up and I just waited.

At 11pm I called Pam and stuck up a normal conversation. I asked her how things were with my brother, she said it was all fine and that, they’re thinking about having kids. I really couldn’t believe my brother made me do this but I had to tell her. I told her that what I saw. She was livid she refused to believe me.

Luckily I was able to show her the screenshot of my brother being in someone else’s bed. She then told me she needed to hang up. I haven’t heard anything from my brother. But as of today, Pam is leaving him.

So I guess that’s good, she won’t have to be hurt by him like that, and I can be there for her. My brother hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts, so I don’t know when we’ll talk again. At least I still have Pam and my sister I guess.

See what others had to share with OP:

d0n7w0rry4b0u717 −  At 11pm I called Pam and stuck up a normal conversation. I asked her how things were with my brother, she said it was all fine and that, they’re thinking about having kids.

Think about it this way. You not only saved Pam from an awful marriage but you potentially saved kids from being brought into a dysfunctional family, which can cause so many different problems for the child. You did the right thing.

Tom_A_F −  You did the right thing.

spyddarnaut −  Also, you should consider putting up boundaries with your female friends and your brother as it appears your brother has made them his hunting grounds. He married your best female friend and then cheated on her with another female friend of yours.

You should take a poll to see how many other female friends he approached. I applaud you for doing this. It’s not easy. But it will get better for all of you with time. Hopefully. Edit: Thank you so all so much ☺️ for the awards and upvotes! I, just, well, didn’t expect this so early in my reddit postings careers. This is great! 🙏 🙏

arieljoc −  Your brother doesn’t even feel bad about cheating!! He’s just “exploring himself” aka which pussy feels best. You absolutely did the right thing and honestly your brother f**king SUCKS

[Reddit User] −  You definitely did the right thing. It was unfair of your brother to ask you to be there for him in that way. I hope he will get over himself at some point and talk to you but I’d give him some space for now. The guy has got to deal with the fallout of the consequences of his actions and break ups are hard, even if you’re the one doing wrong. All best wishes to you and your family OP.

ProgmusicHans −  He didn’t try to guilt me or anything. But he did say that he needs his younger brother to just be there for him. How is “I cheated on my wife, therefore I need my younger brother to cover for me…eh I mean to be there for me…” not him guilting you? If you think that wasn’t him guilting you, rethink everything. He must have manipulated you and was guilting you all your life without you noticing.

silmarp −  Kudos to you. Even if it hurts you are in the right.

thequejos −  When my husband discovered my sister’s husband was cheating on her, we had long talks about whether or not to say anything. It came down to this: deciding to stay silent was the same thing as condoning the behavior by deliberately protecting the reputation of the c**ater. Made the decision easier for sure.

f_ckingandpunching −  You saved Pam from being stuck in a bad relationship and raising kids in a toxic environment. Proud of you for doing the right thing even though it was hard.

RasereiBWolf −  Telling someone they’re being cheated on is always the right thing to do. The right thing is often the hardest thing to do. I’m sorry he did this to you. No one should ask you to give up your integrity and honor for their lies.

It’s never easy being caught in the middle of family drama, especially when it involves betrayal. What do you think about the decision the man made? Should he have handled it differently, or was this the right course of action? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.