Update : My husband is in love with his student. I have no f**king idea what to do.

Sometimes the truth, no matter how painful, forces us to make decisions we never imagined. In this final update, a 35-year-old woman shares how she decided to go ahead with a divorce after discovering that her husband has been harboring feelings for a med student. After decades together—a 30-year relationship filled with shared dreams and a family built over time—this revelation has left her heartbroken and questioning everything.

His confession that he’s been emotionally entangled with a student, even admitting he once reciprocated her feelings, broke the trust she had painstakingly built. With the weight of the secret hanging over them and her own emotional vulnerabilities heightened by personal struggles, she has reached the painful conclusion that a relationship without complete trust is one she can no longer continue.

In a moment of raw honesty, she met with her friend Sarah and later confronted her husband, piecing together a timeline of lingering attractions and missed opportunities for disclosure. Despite his promises to change—talking about therapy and even a job change—she no longer sees a future together. This update marks her final decision to separate, even though it comes at a significant emotional cost.

For those who want to read the previous part : My husband is in love with his student. I have no f**king idea what to do. 

‘ Update : My husband is in love with his student. I have no f**king idea what to do.?’

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship dynamics, remarks, “When a partner reveals hidden emotions that contradict the long-held understanding of a relationship, it can create a profound breach of trust. The emotional impact here isn’t merely about an attraction—it’s about the violation of an implicit promise of honesty and commitment that underpins a lifelong partnership.”

She adds, “Even if the feelings are remnants of the past, the revelation itself can be devastating. For someone who has built a life together over decades, discovering that part of their partner’s heart still belongs to someone else can undermine the entire relationship.”

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman further explains, “Trust is the cornerstone of any long-term relationship. When that trust is compromised—especially by something as personal as a secret emotional attachment—it often necessitates a hard decision.

While therapy and compromise can sometimes repair the damage, in cases where the betrayal runs deep, separation may be the healthiest path.” Both experts agree that the decision to divorce, while deeply painful, is a legitimate response to a lasting breach of trust that the affected partner feels unable to overcome.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Several redditors expressed overwhelming support for your decision. One user commented, “After 30 years together, finding out your husband still has feelings for someone else is a betrayal that cuts deep. You’re not the asshole for choosing your own well-being over a relationship built on broken trust.”

Another group shared personal experiences, with one commenter stating, “I’ve seen partners struggle with secrets from the past, and sometimes the hurt is too much to mend. If you feel that trust is irreparably broken, then divorcing is a courageous, if heartbreaking, step toward healing.”

Ultimately, your decision to move forward with a divorce is a powerful, if painful, stand for reclaiming your trust and emotional well-being. While it’s heartbreaking to end a relationship after decades of shared life, the revelation of your husband’s lingering feelings for someone else has shattered the foundation of trust you once built together.

This update raises important questions: How do we rebuild our lives when the very essence of our partnership is compromised by betrayal? Is it ever possible to fully forgive and move on, or must one always start anew when trust is broken?

What would you do if you found yourself at a similar crossroads, where the secret from your partner’s past forces you to reevaluate your future together? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights might help others navigate the difficult journey between forgiveness and self-preservation.