[UPDATE] My fiancé (26F) and I (27M) decided to break up but she couldn’t move out due to the lockdown. After about four months isolating with her, I’ve realized I don’t want to break up anymore.
In a heartfelt update, a Redditor shared how they rekindled love with their fiancé during lockdown after they initially decided to break up. Through thoughtful gestures like buying Sims DLCs and shared moments like baking and playing games, they slowly rediscovered their bond.
A spontaneous in-game moment led to a silent but mutual acknowledgment of their feelings. Though the big conversation hasn’t happened yet, it’s clear they’re on a path toward healing and reconciliation. Read the full update below.
For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/iieGW
‘ [UPDATE] My fiancé (26F) and I (27M) decided to break up but she couldn’t move out due to the lockdown. After about four months isolating with her, I’ve realized I don’t want to break up anymore.’
Although I didn’t get to reply to any of the comments except for one, I made sure to read all of them in my main account, so I would like to thank everyone for their great advices. Here I am now, excited to tell what happened in the course of 5 days.
So the day after posting that, nothing really happened. I spent that day reflecting on what kind of future I see and want with her. I also thought a lot about the past; how we messed it up, how we both got too lost in our jobs… etc.
In my original post, I asked if what I’m feeling could be just an infatuation that would go as quickly as I came. But I realized that my feelings for her never really disappeared to begin with. It’s like my heart just went in a deep sleep and I forgot how much feelings I carry for her.
I think some of you may know (and have pointed out) that I’m not really good at communicating my feelings. I tend to keep things to myself, and my fiancé is one of the few people who can be patient with that. Some suggested to write a letter instead, or a note, or marry her in sims…
I ended up with drafts of sappy letters that I ended up scraping and a sad attempt to recreate us in the sims. But still, I wanted to make an effort to show her what I couldn’t say through words. I’ve heard about her wanting a few DLCs in the sims in the past, so I had the idea to buy a few for her (sims’ DLCs are pretty expensive especially in our currency..).
Surprised her by stealing her laptop for a few hours and once I gave it back to her, she was elated and so happy. It was really nice seeing her get so excited over it. We played together that whole day and tried to solve the mystery in Strangerville (a game pack in the sims). It was so fun.
The next day, I found her in the kitchen trying to bake something. It was a blueberry cheesecake recipe she saw on youtube. I basically became her cooking assistant that day, helping her as much as I could and we ended up with a pretty decent outcome that I bet would’ve tasted better if I hadn’t messed up so much.
She still said she had so much fun and loved the cheesecake though. The next day, which is just yesterday, something important happened. We were basically just snuggled up on the couch playing when our sims just autonomously “tried for baby” in the bed.
It was hilarious and we initially laughed about it but then we got pretty silent. She then closed her laptop and hugged me tightly then, without saying anything. I think that was my realization that “oh, she feels the same as I do..” so I knew I had to speak up.
I’m still impressed at myself for managing to talk yesterday without choking up, basically opening up the conversation like “are you planning to go to your parents soon?” and she said no, she doesn’t feel like it yet. I asked her why, she told me she wanted to stay. I told her I wanted her to stay too.
We went to sleep that night just huddled together. And even though we didn’t really explicitly say it, I think we’re now aware of each other’s feelings and it feels like a really huge improvement to me. Earlier we ate breakfast together. We weren’t as chatty as we’ve been the last few months but the silence was comforting.
We also watched “Knives Out” together. We haven’t had \*the\* conversation yet, but I’m going to bring it up to her tonight. I’m really glad this whole ordeal went much nicer than I expected it would and I’m relieved I didn’t let my doubts get the best of me. Though I still have to get better with how I communicate things, I’m going to learn for her.
Thank you to everyone who left nice comments in my original post. I apologize again if there are any mistakes in my post, I’m not a native english speaker nor am I from the USA.
See what others had to share with OP:
ThrowRA_11123 − Okay hi. I posted this thinking the same people who saw my last post would respond, and seeing that a few users wanted an update back then, I thought what the hell, why not give them a little update right now and leave it at that. Now I have 5x more the audience I had the last time…
Right now my fiancé is sleeping next to me. Yes we had the talk. As soon as I posted this, I logged out and gathered myself so I can tell her what’s been in my mind for months. It’s not really something so ‘exciting’. We basically just sat down together and talked about what went wrong before.
I told her the things I said in my last post, and she admitted to worrying about what happens after the lockdown gets fully lifted too. We both acknowledged that we worked too hard to become financially stable so that we can get married.
Right now though, all we could do is promise and talk about how we’re going to manage our time better, since we have no idea if our country is ever going to return to normal (the curve is not getting flattened at all and the quarantine is about to get extended again). And then we talked about our feelings.
I got to tell her I love her again, for the first time in years probably, and she told me the same. After that it was back to a lighter conversation, we basically just bonded until she fell asleep.
I honestly thought only a handful of people would see my post. I made sure to use reddit because this isn’t really a big platform in our country and I was sure she wouldn’t see this post, but now that there are like 20k upvotes as I’m typing this, I think she might stumble upon this post sooner or later…
Well then, I know she’s going to be whining a lot about this but she’d be glad to know that a lot of people found our relationship “wholesome”. Thank you all for the kind comments.
I know some people are thinking “why haven’t you just talked to her in the first place” but getting some perspective from other people really did help give a push. I think if I left myself alone with the thoughts I was having, things would’ve gone a lot worse, so I’m really grateful.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the awards I received since this is just a throwaway account though, but it’s still cool. I’ll try to answer as many questions as I can and then log out.. Thank you again 🙂
Rakzilla_ − Glad to hear that things are improving. Keep it up and when things get back to normal for you both MAKE time for each other.
sadd0nut − Omg, my heart went 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 while reading this !!!! I swear this is definitely in my top 10 sweetest moments on the internet. I’m so so so so happy you two managed to work things out . I absolutely needed this post today, thank you !
Edit: I can’t believe I have received so many upvotes, thank you all !!! Edit 2: I just had my award-cherry popped, thank you so much !
jimboTRON261 − I’m always shocked to hear about people who are engaged/married and yet don’t seem to know what an adult relationship is meant to be like… However, this was quite sweet and I hope you two figure it out. FIGURE IT OUT!!
FortunatelyHere − Beautiful! So happy for you! Please, remember this story later in your life. I’ve been married for over 10 years. There are times like this in every long term relationship, when you just aren’t feeling the same level of connection and love for each other.
It could be because you’re too busy or because you have some kind of significant trial that gets in the way. You can avoid some of these barriers but not all of them. You have to agree to stay together through some lows, knowing that your relationship has the strength to come back.
You have to be deliberate about making ways to build your connection and show love for each other. You have to agree to be kind to each other, to always see each other as beautiful human beings,
even when you don’t feel the same level of connection. If you can do that, you have the capacity to have a beautiful, rewarding, long term relationship. Wishing you the best!
Delumine − Definitely don’t throw away the potential for both of you to be really happy. I would take this as an opportunity to really revaluate your work life,
and what changes you can make and request from your higher up so you can accommodate one another’s needs. What’s the point of working so hard in life if you can’t enjoy the company of the person you love.
The_Lonely_Cupcake − Good for you man! Maybe update us on how things went after *the* conversation?
PicardOrion − Please not forget to Update!
Piaffff − Damn, son. I really am happy for you. But dude, your version of communicating your love for her was opening the conversation with “So when are you going to move to your parents”? What the hell?
And then you made her do the rest of the heavy emotional lifting in the conversation by probing her why, instead of actually telling her what you think, want and feel. I could never be as patient with your lack of communication as your gf is and carry all the weight for important relationship conversations like she seems to do.
I just wouldn’t. Like when someone wants to be with me, I assume they’ll be brave enough to put themselves on the line and tell me that. I’ll do the same. Marrying in sims is cute, but only using that as a hint when you’ve agreed to break up is not cute, if you ask me.
I bet she’d also appreciate you doing that for a change too.
It can make her feel unvalued in the relationship if you’re not more straightforward. Right now she hasn’t heard you tell her at all how you really feel, which can be disheartening.
OGPasguis − Before you go back to the engagement, first, work out the issues you guys had. The same happened to my friend. They had issues, mainly lack of communication.
Both tried to date after the breakup, but realized they love each other. They talked, took it slow for a few months, and they just got married. I wish you guys the best. Communication is important.
Do you believe the challenges of life after lockdown might test their newfound connection, or could this shared experience strengthen their bond for the long run? How would you approach rebuilding a relationship that once seemed lost? Share your thoughts below!