Update: My dad’s (43) girlfriend is trying to get rid of me (15 f).

A Reddit user provides an update on her situation where her dad’s girlfriend was trying to get rid of her. After expressing her feelings and confronting her dad, the user made the difficult decision to leave and stay with her grandparents. Despite her dad’s lack of contact, she feels much safer and supported with her grandparents. Read more about her journey below.

‘ Update: My dad’s (43) girlfriend is trying to get rid of me (15 f).’

Hi! Since my last post I spoke to my grandparents and told them everything. I asked if I could stay with them if I wanted to and they agreed. I then spoke to my dad again and tried to tell him how I felt and what I had heard. I didn’t want to film or record because I knew that he would be mad at that and wouldn’t listen.

He didn’t believe me again and thought that I was jealous of having to share him with someone else. I got upset and told him that I was leaving so he could live happily ever after without the burden of having me around. He looked shocked but didn’t say anything.

I had already packed my bags and had brought some things to my grandparents house already. My dad didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day. My grandfather picked me up and I’ve been there since. I haven’t gone home and I haven’t heard from my dad. My grandparents told me that they would handle my dad and that I shouldn’t have to be the one doing it.

I’m upset that my dad hasn’t called or texted me once to see if I’m ok. At the same time I’m feeling so much better being with my grandparents. My grandmother is probably the sweetest person ever and my grandfather is a little rough around the edges but he’s really a softie.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

the_last_basselope −  I’m so glad that your grandparents are such awesome people who will show you the love that your dad should have been showing you all along, and that they are willing to deal with your dad for you – it’s too big of a burden for you to need to carry yourself. Maybe some day your dad will realize what he’s done, but always remember that allowing him back in to your life should be your choice and done on your terms.

JustAsICanBeSoCruel −  You absolutely made the right decision. Your Dad is a fool, and one day he will realize how stupid he was to mess up his relationship with you.

You’ve tried and tried – now HE needs to be the one to make the effort to repair his relationship with you. Stay with your grandparents and keep away from that wretched woman.

rubyhardflames −  Your grandparents are amazing people. Shame the same can’t be said of your father. I will never understand parents who choose their love lives over their children. You’re better off without him anyway, just focus on living your best life right now.

BulkyBear −  Just a thought, get your paperwork since you’ll need that soon

Cookyy2k −  Hopefully your grandparents are already chasing dad for support. He doesn’t get off scott free here, he can pay your expenses without having the pleasure of your company.

Shgrien −  Are you ok ? How are you holding up ? 😐

Princess-She-ra −  Give your grandparents a huge hug from me. They’re awesome and you’re lucky to have them in your life and on your side. Your grandfather may be rough around the edges, as you say, but he put a roof over your head and came and brought you home.

I’m going to suggest that you speak to a therapist about everything. You need to be able to process what happened and learn to move forward in a productive way.. Good luck to you.

nnxvee_ −  I can’t help but get mad at the fact that this lady got what she wanted. It’s not fair. I’ve been in a similar situation where my biological father chose his girlfriend over his own daughter and it sucks. So I know what it’s like being so young and not knowing whether you’re in the wrong or not. And you know what, you’re not IMHO. I really hope your dad opens his eyes and realizes what this lady is really about before it’s too late.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom, but i’m glad that you have your grandparents there for you; grandparents are the best. I wish you nothing but the best. This situation happens a lot, you are not alone. Keep your head held high, you did the right thing.

[Reddit User] −  I would like to chime in here a bit on one thing: There are comments about how your father will ‘realize’ what he ‘missed out on’ and try to mend bridges later. I would like to just put a gentle note here that there is a chance your father might not reach out to you. He might not want to mend things.

He might never want to resolve things between you two. If he does, fantastic, but remain neutral on this matter. 5 years is not a long time to truly deal with the loss of a spouse. His world turned upsidedown. It could be that he can’t see himself ever having a family after such a loss, you know? You could also remind him of his loss, so he may be more eager to ‘get rid of reminders’ just like he did with all those photos.

Not everyone copes in a healthy way, and not everyone wants to ‘go back to how things were’. My father went and had a family with another woman. They don’t always want to fix broken relationships. You have some incredible advice here. Focus on you. Get your documents.

Your grandparents sound like just beautiful souls and I am so glad you had the option to go stay with them. As long as that girlfriend is in the picture, I wouldn’t risk going back to that house. Not yet. You might not get a chance to safely leave again if things go badly a second time.

This time you caught them by surprise and had the upper hand. Continue to keep that high ground, OP. Rely on your grandparents to do the communicating for now. You are a very mature, bright person. I was so proud of you when you were trying to put your dad’s happiness before your own feelings.

That speaks volumes to your character. You did nothing wrong in all of this. Remember that. This is an issue with your father and his own issues. It’s not something you should burden yourself to carry. Focus on you. Focus on getting yourself on your own feet. Tread carefully, slowly and take everything they tell you with a grain of salt for now. Actions speak more than words. Trust your gut!

throwawaySnoo57443 −  You made the right decision. You made the best choice for *you*. Like others have said, your dad will at some point, wake up and realise the damage he has done to your and his relationship. It may not be within the next few weeks or even months. But he will realise that what he’s done is awful. But I’m so glad your happy now with your grandparents and that your receiving the love and care you deserve.

Have you ever had to make the difficult decision to leave a situation to feel safe? How did you navigate the emotions and relationships that followed? Share your thoughts and experiences with us.